Anchors, Signposts, & Wanderings

Dear Steven Curtis Chapman

2009-12-05T22:45:00.002-06:00

Today is the anniversary of the day I told someone I love very much that she was dying of cancer. She didn't understand the words the doctors used to say there was nothing more they could do, so it fell to me to explain it to her. Three months later, she did die.
Today is also the second anniversary of my own diagnosis of cancer. One year after I told that very special person that cancer would take her life I was diagnosed with it myself. While I have many supportive friends and family around me, it's hard for me to talk about my experiences. Today I especially felt it would be difficult to explain the complex emotions I'm feeling, and to be understood. If you didn't know the person I lost, it's hard to really know what it was like.
Today also happens to be the first time I heard the song "Heaven Is The Face."
I am amazed at the courage and strength it took to write and share this song. To mourn a loss so painful robs most people, including myself, of the energy and ability to even interact meaningfully with others.
After I listened to this song, I felt listened to. I wish you could grasp a sense of how I was really listening to you too.
Just thought you should know.

The Weekend Blogger

2009-11-29T22:00:00.002-06:00

Around this time of year I start thinking about plans and goals for next year. I try to take a look at what worked and what didn't work over the past year. You know, keep what works and chuck the rest.
I haven't gotten very far, but these are some of the adjustments I am contemplating.

Continuing the blog on a reduced, weekends only schedule.
Building my own intensive topical bible study for the coming year.
Experimenting with schedules and strategies that keep my energy level in balance (minor adjustments such as what time I exercise or take a bath seem to strongly influence fatigue and nausea).
I'm still on the fence about writing, but I think I have determined that I will do some significant writing about writing and see where it takes me.
Normally I dislike the strict "do this every day" type of goal. However, I think I'd like to follow what is something of a mantra in the creative/arts world. "Do something creative every day."

What about you? Any goals or plans for the coming year?

Winter Reading List

2009-11-15T19:31:00.003-06:00

Usually as summer approaches, there is quite a buzz about what folks are putting on their summer reading list. I wonder if the tradition stems from the days when it was much more popular to lay out in the sun all day to work on your tan. As a person who burns at the mere mention of the sun, that trend never caught on with me. For me, summers are more interactive, whether I am interacting with friends and family at a party, or interacting with store clerks as I browse up and down the block, or even interacting with a good movie. (Now there's a summer trend I like: the great movies).
Back to the approaching winter. Once the holidays are over we still need to get through January and February. Cuddling up with a good book might be as close to hibernation as we can get. Between the physical complications of mixing snow and ice with getting around on crutches, and the cold, decreased daylight, and my own decreased energy, I am hardly out and about during the winter.
Enter the winter reading list. It just so happens that right at the beginning of December my local library has a used book sale. Twenty dollars lands me more books than I can read in a year, let alone a season.
This year, I have quite a few classics on my list. Jane Austin, CS Lewis, maybe even some Tolstoy, or Dante's Inferno. I also hope to get to a few more contemporary pieces, Like Running with Scissors, The Year of Magical Thinking, and I Know This Much Is True.
What's on your winter reading list?

Brave People Make Things

2009-11-07T20:08:00.004-06:00

My friend Dianne borrowed this from another blog and I decided to take on the challenge myself.
Will you be brave enough to take on the challenge?

Because 2010 is so near, I am changing the timeline.

The first five (5) people to respond to this post will get something made by me.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations so please read carefully:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. Whatcha get is whatcha get.

2. What I create will be just for you, with love.

3. It’ll be done this year (2009). EDITED: It will be done by May 1st, 2010

4. I will not give you any clue what it’s going to be. It will be something made in the real world and not something cyber. It may be weird or beautiful. Or it may be monstrous and annoying. Heck, I might bake something for you and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that’s for sure!

5. I reserve the right to do something strange.

6. In return, all you need to do is post this text on your blog and make 5 things for the first 5 to respond to your blog post.

7. Send your mailing address - after I contact you.

Good luck!

Reformation Day

2009-10-31T23:44:00.002-05:00

The plan was to take a few weeks off of blogging at the end of the summer. Things rarely go according to plan. I decided to return to blogging today for a couple of reasons. The theme of reformation has been bouncing around in my brain and I think it lends itself quite nicely to renewing a practice I have found helpful and making the adjustments needed in my schedule to create the room to do so. And speaking of making time, today also just happens to be the day we turn our clocks back to gain an hour.
The time change was the subject in my creative writing group this week. One member of the group said she was going to use her extra hour to write to her family and let them know how much she appreciates them. I like this idea because it took a minor observation and added a practice that turned it into a real holiday, a time for reflection and celebration.
So I am using my extra hour to resume blogging, as well as a few other creative pursuits I'll tell you more about in the next few weeks.

IL Budget Crisis

2009-07-04T19:32:00.004-05:00

Today our nation celebrates its Independence. For many people in the state of Illinois, this celebration is bittersweet. The IL legislature has failed to balance the state budget. Some would say that it's good that the proposed cuts to social services were not enacted; hopeful that a belated resolution to the problem will come to pass. Unfortunately, for many of the state funded social service agencies, this resolution will come too late. Programs that serve women, children, the abused, and people with mental illness as well as physical and mental disabilities have already begun to close. With no funding source, these non-profit programs simply cannot function.
Ironic isn't it? On this Independence Day, many of us social service providers are wondering how to tell our clients that we can no longer support their goal of living as independently as possible. Oh, and did I mention that the aforementioned legislature, immediately after failing to balance the budget, voted themselves a two week vacation? They return to session the day before many checks that state programs try to cash will bounce.
I teach my clients that independence is connected to responsibility, maturity, and integrity. What am I supposed to tell them when our leaders take part in manipulative "negotiations" and vote themselves raises and expense free retirement plans, instead of cutting pork barrel spending?
I teach my clients that budgeting requires sound judgement and priorities. I live by these rules myself. I pay for my housing and chemotherapy before I decide how many times I can go out to the movies, or how many magazines and books I can indulge in each month. What do I tell my clients about a government that pays for designer "Welcome" neighborhood signs before it makes sure its citizens are fed, housed, educated, and medically cared for?
Please visit Save Our Services and help if you can.

"If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich." JFK 1.20.61

Alaska in 5,000 Words

2009-06-27T12:35:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday

2009-06-18T00:53:00.002-05:00

If I would have known then what I know now, I would not change a thing. I wonder if you ever knew that?
I've come to learn that while there is no limit to the amount of suffering one may endure, this is a limit to how long some will stay by your side in response to that suffering. That never occurred to me when I was with you. I could never have limited our relationship when your pain was so limitless. I wonder if you ever knew that?
I would have stayed for more if it meant you could have stayed for more. I wonder if you ever knew that?
I would have stayed up with you all night.
I would have loved you anyway.
I wonder if you ever knew that?

I miss you.

Offertory

2009-05-31T21:40:00.001-05:00

Create in me a clean heart, O God;
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence;
and take not thy holy spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation;
and uphold me with thy free spirit.
(Psalm 51:10-12)

Aslan Is On The Move

2009-05-27T23:00:00.000-05:00

Changing Media

2009-05-24T20:17:00.004-05:00

I use Google Reader to keep up with all the blogs I like to read on a regular basis. I love how easy it is even to catch up even when miss a few days. One of the things I've noticed is that it has drastically cut down on the number of comments I leave for my fellow bloggers. The extra click-throughs pull me away from my main reading page, and I always mean to get back to leaving the comments, I just never do. Obviously, I've yet to find a solution to this problem other than to stop being so lazy.
On another note, I recently heard that a few more Christian magazines are set to cease publication. Periodicals are fast disappearing from the market. They just can't compete with the Internet in terms of cost effectiveness and accessibility. I just can't help but think of the value that I'm losing though. I reference magazines all the time and reread material all the time. Even if articles are archived online, I'm hardly going to get out of bed to look it up when my evening devotional or book triggers an association. Disappointing.
As if I wasn't feeling old enough, this weekend I've been trying to decipher applications for Twitter and all the features of GIMP. I was part of the original computer generation, but I feel like I'm falling further and further behind.

Significance

2009-05-20T20:10:00.003-05:00

I had a great philosophical conversation today. We were discussing the topic of significance vs. insignificance. As an aside, one of my favorite things about this discussion is that it sprang from a question about the distinction between "nerd" and "geek." Look it up, if you don't know. But I digress.
One person commented that he felt like a nerd in school when he raised his hand to answer questions. Actually, the term "nerd" refers to an "insignificant" person. Wisely, another member of our group commented that supplying answers and contributing to the class knowledge and discussion is quite the opposite of insignificant.
This led to further analysis of how significance is determined. Society may believe you need to have an "other" to be significant. I think I am significant in and of myself. Is it what you do that makes you significant? Is it what you are good at? Or is it who you are? Or is it something else? Can you believe you are significant even if others do not? How? Why?
These are the things we discuss over lunch.

Cultivate

2009-05-18T21:55:00.002-05:00

Something about this time of year leads my thoughts in the direction of growth and change. Call it a spring cleaning kind of thing. It happens to be a convenient time to look back on the goals I set at the beginning of the year and evaluate how I'm doing. This year, the word I picked to focus on happens to be cultivate.
So rather than emphasize how many pounds I have or haven't lost or how many words I have or haven't written, I'm reflecting more on theme. It's pleasant how God pointed me towards a word that holds such deep significance throughout the seasons and especially at this time of year. How am I doing at cultivating peace, hope, and other positive attributes in my life?
What do you wish to cultivate in your life? What do the seeds look like? What soil does it grow best in? How do you feed and care for it?

Share Joy

2009-05-13T22:46:00.002-05:00

This week vocation has been a hot topic among the clients I work with. Many are not employed and given the current economy they are experiencing even less hope of finding any job, let alone one that they would enjoy. So we talked about what the ideal job would look like. After the initial fantasies about six figure paychecks, expense accounts, and 3 hour lunch breaks, one person hit on something. He said he wished he could sing because so many songs have deep meaning to a lot of people and he longs to bring joy to that many people.
So we brainstormed some viable ways to accomplish the goal of sharing joy without having to be discovered and sign a record deal. What about delivering flowers? Or being a porter at the airport? Or volunteering at a nursing home?
We spend a lot of time thinking about how happy we are in our jobs. Perhaps sometimes this is because we are in a job that truly is not a good fit. My dad is a paramedic. It's fulfilling for him to be able to help people. It would give me a panic attack to have to stick a needle in some one's arm. But what about the less dramatic examples? Maybe retail or custodial or secretarial work isn't your ideal job, but it's where you are at now. How can you use where you are to bring joy to others? Try it and I bet you might just bring some joy to yourself as well.

More Quotes

2009-05-11T21:59:00.002-05:00

I found these quotes from friends and other sources over the last few days. I always love a good quote to ponder.

The willow knows what the storm does not; that the power to endure harm outlives the power to inflict it. Anonymous

Why must conversions always come so late? Why do people always apologize to corpses? David Brin

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb trees it will spend the rest of its life believing it is stupid. Anonymous.

The 300

2009-05-05T20:26:00.003-05:00

This is my 300th post. What to talk about today? There probably wouldn't be much point in complaining about the fluish thing that has me feeling yucky. While it may or may not be entertaining to read a list of things that irritate me when I don't feel well (like walkie talkie phones and other sources of noise pollution) I just don't think focusing on that sort of thing would help me feel any better.
Reaching a milestone like 300 posts kind of makes me want to wax philosophical about what I've accomplished since I started this blog as well as how things have changed and how things have stayed the same. I'm just not sure I could put words to that in a way that would give it justice right now.
So inevitably I turn to thinking about the next 300 posts. I've been fairly consistent in posting, but there's always room for improvement. I'd like to share some more art on my blog in the future. I'm thinking about changing the look of the blog, maybe going with a custom design. I'd also like to more intentional about connecting with other bloggers and leaving comments about what they write. What would you like to see in future posts?

A New Quote

2009-05-01T22:35:00.003-05:00

"What is to give light must endure burning."
Viktor Frankl

The Soloist

2009-04-28T22:40:00.004-05:00

I saw The Soloist over the weekend. I don't want to spoil the movie, but I really enjoyed the way it focused on the relationship between the two characters. It could have easily stereotyped mental illness or used the film as a political soapbox around medication or homelessness. While these issues came up, the central message was one of the power of choice and the power of relationship.
I also happen to enjoy the way the craft of writing was woven into the story. A journalist comes upon the main character and moves from seeing him as a "story" in the distant, objective sense to investing in his story and becoming part of it.
Stories are central to who we are. Each of us has a story to tell. Even the homeless guy asking for spare change. Even the waiter who is extra nice or extra unkind to you. Even the jerk who cut you off on this morning's commute.
Maybe one of the things I like about movies like this and Stranger Than Fiction is that it blends two of my passions. Words and people. The ability to share our stories is healing. It is what builds relationships.

Brain Dump

2009-04-20T22:00:00.003-05:00

Here's a random list of 10 things going on in my brain and my life right now, just for fun:

I just got back from a week long workshop on mental health and wellness. Once I process all the information, I'll post more on it.
I need to update my Etsy site.
I have the hiccups.
Katerina loves her Easter present, a feather, rattan,and catnip concoction she can't stop batting all over the place.
It's supposed to snow tonight and be in the 80's by Friday.
I have over 650 emails and I'm feeling peer pressure to get my inbox down to zero.
I really, really need to get some quality art time in to my schedule this week.
I wish I understood Twitter better. I don't think I use it effectively at all.
Every time I plan to walk to the gym, it rains.
I'm finishing up my study of Job and moving on to a devotional series on Joshua.

Good Friday

2009-04-10T21:31:00.001-05:00

What I Gave Up For Lent

2009-04-08T22:13:00.002-05:00

Lutherans do not traditionally practice giving up something for Lent, but I and many of my fellow Lutheran friends do so anyway. I've given up a variety of things over the years, everything from TV to chocolate to bad language. I've given up other things during Lent, like the time I let go of someone I loved very much when she died of cancer during Lent.
This year it was really difficult to determine what God would have me give up. As I've mentioned, life is not easy for me these days. While there was a time when I grew spiritually by giving up one of life's little pleasures for a little while, I just don't think God is calling me to give up sources of relaxation, comfort, and support at this time. Yes, there probably still would be benefits to giving up various foods or forms of technology. Right now I need to believe that to eliminate that which makes me laugh, smile, or feel encouraged would be to reject the very gifts God is offering me.
When I came to that conclusion, it was as if a window to heaven had opened. I decided to give up hopelessness and discouragement for Lent. And you know what? It actually worked. Life is still hard, and I still get stressed and overwhelmed. But despair has lost much of the hold it had over me since I decided to give it up.
Now, along with this theme, I'd like you to go to this site and listen to a song by John Waller that speaks to exactly what I'm talking about. You'll have to scroll down to the song called "Our God Reigns Here." I really hope you listen to the song. Leave a comment and let me know what you thought of it. This means you.

Holy Week

2009-04-06T22:10:00.003-05:00

The last few weeks have been challenging, so I took some much needed time off from a few things, including blogging. I will be at a conference next week and I will likely be too busy and too tired to blog then.
So what do I have to talk about during this Holy Week? It always seems that my words are insufficient to describe my experience of the week we commemorate the passion of our Lord. It's a very contemplative, introspective time for me. It's also hard to articulate my thoughts. Yet each year, God teaches me something new and different about some element of the events of Holy Week.
Our sermon on Sunday focused on how Mary did a "beautiful thing" by anointing Jesus with expensive perfume. She was not aware of the events to come, nor could she have stopped them if she knew, but "she did what she could" to show her love for Jesus. Hers was a radical expression of faith and devotion as Jesus approached what He knew would be terrible agony and suffering. In short order, Jesus' friends betrayed, denied, and abandoned Him. Even His Father forsook Him for a time so we would never have to know the pain of that separation.
I know that when people are powerless to change my own painful circumstances it means something when they choose to "do what they can," even at their own expense. Some people find it difficult to stick around during the hard times. It's easy to love and call someone your friend during the good times. Real commitment is needed when the going gets tough.
I wonder if Christ thought of Mary's act of devotion while He was on the cross. I wonder if she ever knew how much she really did.

Choreographed Kitties

2009-03-18T20:42:00.002-05:00

I'm feeling a little puny tonight, so Happy Fun Night is going to mean turning in early. I didn't want to post another video so soon, but I also didn't want to go to bed without posting something. Since I needed a smile, I searched "funny" and "cats" was the 1st suggestion that came up. I am amazed at how choreographed these little guys are. :):)
Boy I wish blogger had smileys.

What Bernie Should Do

2009-03-16T21:39:00.003-05:00

I normally do not write about business or political things on my blog. However, today I started working up a head of steam about something and I figured I'd share.
Bernie Madoff was not content with the vast sums of money he earned in his very successful position. So he stole even more money from many, many people who had set that money aside after working for it. The kinds of people he stole from are people who didn't want to be a burden to their kids, or perhaps they were concerned about how long the money would last upon retirement given the overall economy. Maybe they'd planned to travel through their golden years, after decades of hard work.
So why is it that after that this guy has stolen from so many "regular" folks, us "regular" taxpayers are now going to pay more to send him to jail? I don't get it. Granted I don't know everything about the story. I haven't diligently kept up with it, and this sort of thing is not my area of expertise. But here's what I think Bernie Madoff should do.
I think he should go back to work. And I think he should continue to receive his pre-existing salary. However, he's proven he cannot handle the responsibility of his position nor the income he was accustomed to. So, he ought to go back to his huge empire and start at the bottom. In the mail room. Bernie Madoff should be the assistant to the newest, greenest, youngest employee in the mail room. He should have to be the gopher to the gophers.
He should have to go fetch lattes for his "boss" and friends. And when he returns he'd better be sure to count out the coins and state "Here's your change, sir." As for his salary, Bernie himself ought to get a sense of what it's like to live on a fixed income. Perhaps minimum wage, or the Social Security benefits many of his victims will now need to settle for. Under the supervision of an accountant, he should be expected to write weekly checks consisting of the remainder of his salary which would go into a fund to repay his victims.
That's what I think Bernie should do.

Fly

2009-03-13T18:25:00.002-05:00

Be still

Let your hand melt into mine

The part of me

That breathes when you breathe

Is losing time

I can't find the words to say

I'll never say goodbye

And I'll fly with you

Through the night so you know

I'm not letting go

Tears like rain fill up the sky

Oh my love

I'm not letting go

I won't let you go

I saw a host of silent angels

Waiting on their own

Knowing that all the promises

Of faith come alive

When you see home

Hold still and let your

Hand melt into mine

Shed your heart and your breath

And your pain and fly

Now you're alive

I won't let you go

I'm not letting go

Fly, Jars Of Clay

Taking What I Can Get

2009-03-11T23:18:00.000-05:00

Today I was told I have a very nice sneeze. It was one of the best compliments I've gotten in a while, if only for the comedic value.
What are some of the best or most interesting compliments you have received?

Not All Your Fault

2009-03-09T21:51:00.002-05:00

Once again I am touched by the number of people who stumble across my blog looking for "relaxing activities" or "how to get through a bad day." Or even, "and death shall be no more (comma) death thou shalt die." Today I am commiserating with these people as the calendar fast approaches the anniversary of the day I lost someone very important to me.
In stark contrast to this, there are the pettier issues we have to deal with each day. Someone close to me was telling me that he has an infallible co-worker. This person he works with is certain you either spoke wrong, heard wrong, or meant something wrong. If you suggest she is making an assumption, she states you made an implication. If she is angry, it is in response to your behavior. On the other hand, if you are angry, you must have jumped to a conclusion or otherwise miscommunicated somehow.
Let me reassure you, it can not always be your fault all the time for everything. Everybody makes mistakes. Sometimes it's your fault. Sometimes it might even be all your fault. I'd venture to say that if you are anything like me, most of the time it's probably partly your fault. However, it takes at least two people to create a dynamic and you just can't bear all of the responsibility all of the time. Life has so many other things to focus on.

Serendipitini

2009-03-06T23:00:00.003-06:00

My friend Teena has started a new blog, Serendipitini. Along with her daughter, she is writing some great stuff on creativity. Teena is such a great inspiration to me; she has so many artistic gifts. Stop by her site if you are looking for something fresh to spark your own creative muse.
We'd both appreciate feedback when you visit.
Have a wonderfully creative weekend.

Imagination

2009-03-04T21:37:00.001-06:00

Discoveries Pt. 2

2009-03-02T22:40:00.002-06:00

I've been tracking my schedule on MS Outlook for over a week now. The first thing that has been revealed to me is that I am tired. I don't mean "I could take a nap." I mean exhausted and drained of energy; to the core. Henceforth, I have decided to stop beating myself up for my lack of productivity on my weeknights.
I have about 5 hours each evening before I go to bed. Once I started tracking how long it actually takes to eat dinner, get ready for work the next day, and maintain a basic minimum of organization to my home and personal life, I realized I am lucky to blog and to return phone calls and emails in a timely manner. I now grant myself permission to "waste" the remaining 47 minutes of my evenings watching TV, messing around on Facebook, reading, or scoring Katerina some great catnip and watching the resulting amusement.
I know there are parents who do much more with their evenings, and many authors have managed to write more than one book with the same few hours. I admire them. Once upon a time, I was among the super achievers as well. My standards have changed. Those little color coded blocks of time graphically illustrate work, creativity, family, and church as my priorities. I can't force a clean house or a sold manuscript into the remaining sliver of white space. So I'm going to go watch TV with my cat.

Discoveries

2009-02-23T23:04:00.002-06:00

I continue on my never ending quest to manage my time better and become more organized in general. At work, I began tracking all of my time- not just my appointments, with the calendar in MS Outlook. I really liked the way it ended up being part to-do list, and part ta-da list. When I have unfinished tasks at the end of the day I can see that this was due to the number of tasks on my schedule that I did accomplish. It also helps me identify what kind of things I get sidetracked with and what time of day leads to what kind of interruptions.
I found all these elements so beneficial that I've started using the calendar feature of MS office at home. I have a regular calendar to track appointments and such, but I really like being able to see exactly where all my time is going. I'll share more about this as I develop my use of the tool. I hope it's as useful at home as it has been at work.

Etsy Grand Opening

2009-02-16T20:43:00.002-06:00

I'm pleased to announce the grand opening of my new Etsy site. I am currently featuring handmade books, "abstract books," and a few things I've decluttered from my art space. I hope to expand the selection of books and add a few other items soon.
Please stop by and visit. You can find me at www.njring.etsy.com.
I also have a mini shop linked up on my sidebar right here on my blog. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

Expressive Arts

2009-02-13T20:10:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I went to a wake for someone who died entirely too young and under circumstances that were entirely too tragic. There's been entirely too much of this sort of thing in my life as of late, and it's really starting to wear down what little reserves I have left. On this side of heaven, there is just nothing that makes this OK. It's not OK. What do you say to his mom? What do you say to strangers who don't understand? What do you say to God?
In theory, our American death, dying, and burial traditions are designed to facilitate personal closure, the ability to say goodbye, and provide support to the bereaved. Perhaps they accomplish this sometimes. However, I've often seen the chaos and hassle of arrangements be too overwhelming for those suffering loss. I've also seen the hours upon hours of sitting in a room with a loved one who isn't really there anymore, while trying to play hostess, simply amount to torture for the grieving.
This family did something I've heard of, but not personally seen. They had T-shirts made in honor of their lost loved one. Colorful, airbrushed, personalized T-shirts with his picture and a carefully selected Bible verse. Perhaps I'm biased because of my love for the creative, but I just felt this was a beautiful way to mourn. Is there a loss in your life that you would like to honor by creating something? What would you create?

Weariness

2009-02-09T18:36:00.002-06:00

Not much for conversation
I still find need to pray
Sometimes I get tired of walking
Through these ordinary days
If nothing else I get to see you
Even if we never speak
The harm of words though sometimes
We don't quite know
What they really mean

I don't know where
I don't know how
I don't know why
But your love can make
These things better

So let me lay down in this field
And stare up at the sky
I hope the days and clouds
Turn into something
As they pass us by
And maybe you could settle
For a skyline faded blue
I hope that you might settle
For this love I have for you

Your love can make these things better
Your love can make these things better
Your love can make these things better

These Ordinary Days, Jars of Clay

Euphemism

2009-02-05T18:58:00.003-06:00

Not that long ago I was watching an interview on late night TV. I can't recall the name of the person being interviewed, but I know he was of British, possibly Irish. He shared a few stories of the typical late night variety. Those designed for shock value and a good laugh. Then he digressed to talking about the family he grew up with and as he became quieter and more serious, he commented "of course, they've all been gathered now."
This shift in tone did not escape the attention of the host, as he quickly poked fun at the use of the gentle euphemism in stark contrast to more acceptable, irreverent slang. It didn't escape my attention either. Most of us are uncomfortable with death and we have created much vocabulary in the name of avoiding the true meaning of the word. I'd never heard the phrase "they've been gathered" before. And the thing is, despite the fact that we invented the term as a euphemism, I think it might be the truest picture we could paint of what happens when we die.

Studio Makeover

2009-02-03T21:16:00.003-06:00

I know this looks like a plain old before picture. It's actually a Phase I picture. My kitchen table is better known as my art studio. Right now it's covered in some supplies I recently found and/or purchased. Just before I got those supplies I created some makeshift storage on the back of the table. Stay tuned for the updated picture where I will talk about how I evaluated what works and what doesn't work in my improvised art studio.

Fun With Metaphors

2009-02-01T18:22:00.002-06:00

I love metaphors. I use metaphors in my writing. I teach with metaphors in counseling. I express myself with metaphors in my art. I love finding metaphors in books, movies, and everyday conversation with others. I will go to great lengths to develop a metaphor and exploit it for my own personal use.
As a counselor and writer, I am often conscious of the subtext metaphor provides. Yet sometimes, metaphors sneak up on me. An example is the furniture I've gotten in the last few years. When I got my Master's Degree, I bought myself an entertainment center. At first, I thought this was simply because I had simultaneously moved in to a somewhat smaller home and I needed to consolidate my CD, electronics, etc.
Enter my most recent purchase. The couple of years since I've graduated have been even harder than the ones I spent working and going to school full time. My parents had been encouraging me to get rid of my old recycled sofa. So when I went with my parents to help them pick a new dining set & sat in a nearby recliner, I was, well, sold.
I had no conscious thought of my need for entertainment when I bought my entertainment center. Nor did I buy two new recliners specifically because I need to relax. No, these hidden layers of meaning were there all along. I just needed to look for them.

I Am Green

2009-01-28T22:26:00.001-06:00

God bless The Frog.

How To Do It All

2009-01-26T21:52:00.002-06:00

I got home from my day job today and I have barely had the energy to do half the dishes, triage my emails, and do a couple of writerly things, including resuming my blog.
Then there is my friend Wendy. She's a Mom, a writer, and an award winning doll sculptor. She's active in her church, at least a dozen other activities, and she's a literary agent. As if that were not enough, Wendy and her literary agency, Books & Such, just launched their blog.
If you want to know how she does it all, stop by the blog. Lately, Wendy has been focused on the topic of organization. All the contributors share information that's helpful in all areas of life, not just writing or work. I'm excited about adding this blog to my list of regular reads and I hope you will check it out.

Fun In The Cold

2009-01-16T19:21:00.002-06:00

As far as I know, this video was not taken here in Chicago. But it could have been. I'd heard that when temperatures get below -10 degrees, soap bubbles will freeze. I'd also heard that they will shatter. That part turned out not to be true. I'm glad I did find this video to demonstrate the effects because I was not about to go outside and try to accomplish it myself.

Goals and Resolutions

2009-01-12T22:06:00.003-06:00

I was going to take a vacation from the blog this week so I can attend to some other responsibilities. Then I got a lovely compliment on the blog from a friend. So I couldn't very well leave it now.
I wanted to take a break to work on my previously mentioned Etsy site. I also want to dig deep into a couple of Bible Studies I'm working through. I'm reading the book of Job. If you aren't struggling right now, anything I say about it will sound cliche. If you are having perhaps a harder time than you've ever had in your life you will understand about finding insights where they had previously been undiscovered. You will know what it means to have Job as your friend and to struggle to stay on top of the dirt that continues to fall on you by the wheelbarrow full.
It was as I was thinking about Job and his daily effort to remain faithful to God when I realized something about New Year's Resolutions. We seem to think all is lost if we've failed in our goals by this time of year. But God doesn't work like that. Every single day, every single minute of every day is a chance to start over, a chance to grow, a chance to change. So I finally decided what to do about my goals for this year.
Rather than being about content or outcome, my goals at the moment are focused on process. If I lose focus, I acknowledge that and come back to my relationship with God, which is at the center of everything. I'm not starting the year with an organized life and a perfectly tailored health plan. I'm just checking in with God every day to see what He wants me to accomplish, fix, or change in my life.
New Year's Resolutions, one day at a time.

Organizing 101

2009-01-07T20:03:00.003-06:00

My friend Dianne is organizing her craft space and blogging about it. I'm very much inspired by her motivation and her space. I love organization even when I am not very good at it. So now I am looking at systems to inventory and organize all my craft stuff.
The main problem is that I live in a one bedroom condo. My kitchen table serves as my main craft space. Secondary storage is in a small hall closet on the other side of my home. I am trying to triage my supplies. However, I'm going to have to get some mailing supplies and develop a system for them once I get my Etsy site up and running. Of course, that will require more space.
So that's what I've been mulling over for the last few days and it's a large part of what I'm experimenting with on this particular Happy Fun Night. If I get brave enough I might post some pictures. Maybe.

And About Hibernation...

2009-01-05T21:32:00.003-06:00

The other day I suggested we radically alter our calendar to spread out "the holidays" more or less evenly every four months or so. I'm going to further question the wisdom and sophistication of evolving away from hibernation. I think we really need to reconsider the concept of nesting away in the long dark days of winter.
Who said hibernation was such a bad thing anyway? Many of our local cities can't afford the amount of salt and snow plowing it takes to keep running all winter. Then there's SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Not to mention the general craving for increased carbohydrates and extra sleep, with the lack of sunlight and all. See, aren't we wired to want to hibernate during this time of year?
I'm not saying we all ought to go into a coma for three months. I'm just wondering what it would be like if everything radically slowed down for two to four weeks some time after the New Year. Maybe some people would still need to go into work, but it'd be skeleton crews at reduced hours. Otherwise, we'd get to sleep in and take naps, not all day, but more than usual. Since we wouldn't be sleeping 24/7 during the hibernation period, there would be an emphasis on family time, or quiet time. We'd read, catch up on all our craft and household projects. We'd write letters to each other, cook and have meals together.
Even you extroverts have to admit it's a better idea than shoveling snow.

Happy New Year

2009-01-02T21:52:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago the members of my creative writing group were lamenting the excessive, well, excessiveness of the holidays. Christmas is promoted before Halloween, let alone Thanksgiving. Then there's the weekend traveling and cooking for Thanksgiving, on top of which we are expected to make time for Christmas shopping. That is, if you are one of the "lazy" folks who isn't "already" done with your Christmas shopping.
And woe unto you if you have not already made your plans for ringing in the New Year. All the cool restaurants, hotels, and people have been booked for weeks. Perhaps all this explains why I was actually glad when my plans for the New Year's celebration fell through. I was downright exhausted! That balance I talked about a few posts ago? Somehow it escaped me in the chaos of the holidays. As much as I thought I'd want to be social for New Year's this year, I needed the time to restore my own sense of balance.
Which brings me to the brilliant idea one of my group members had. He thought we ought to redistribute the holidays to roughly 4 months apart or so. New Year's would probably have to stay put for the sake of time management. But really, nothing much fun is going on in August. It could use a holiday. And I know moving Christmas would pose problems with the liturgical calendar, but historians agree Jesus was not likely born in December anyway. I'm sure we could figure it out.
Anyone know how to officially propose an idea such as this?

It's Getting Late

2008-12-31T21:30:00.003-06:00

The year is winding down. I was going to wait til tomorrow to post. Today I was just catching up on some blogs I read when I came across this post from Awareness. Although she wrote it a couple weeks ago I am very glad I waited until today to read it. It very much speaks to how I feel about the close of this year and the beginning of a new year of hope and opportunity arriving in just a few hours. She expresses herself on the subjects of relationships, genuineness, and kindness much more eloquently than I can at the moment. I know it's getting late, but stop by and see what she has to say if you have a moment.

4x4

2008-12-29T21:28:00.003-06:00

I swiped this meme off another blog. You're supposed to post the 4th photo in your 4th file and then share the story about it.

So, this is Athena, my brother's dog. The picture was taken on 2.14.08, the day he brought her home. I have this picture, among many others because I just made a handmade book of pictures of Athena as a Christmas gift for my brother.

Athena is now about a year old and weighs over 65 pounds. She also has a new "sister;" a chocolate lab named Riley.

I'm not officially tagging anyone for this meme, but if you decide to do it, leave a comment and let me know so I can stop by and visit.

What Did You Expect?

2008-12-27T23:02:00.002-06:00

I took a few days off for Christmas. The weather is perfectly lovely today. And I got my new furniture delivered. In addition to lots of wonderful things, some great time with family, and the best Gift of all, I also got some other things for Christmas. I got a cold, maybe strep throat, 3 broken toes, a case of hives, and a backed up kitchen sink.
Inspired by the version of the 12 Days of Christmas I was thus writing in my head, and too tired to be creative enough to write it or anything else, I found this.
You know you love it.

Steadfast Santa

2008-12-20T13:17:00.004-06:00

My fellow artist Dianne recently made an art piece using this verse from Robert Frost and Santa. I decided to reinterpret the concept because I liked the theme so much and I am hoping to give the finished product to my Mom for Christmas.

I used Papersource cover weight stock in violet as my background. I just love love love that color. I specked it with a little iridescent white paint. I then printed out the clip art Santa and the verse on regular copy paper. The "snow" is text from the beginning of St. Luke which I gessoed over and sponged off with a little tissue paper. I tore the images and aged them with shades of brown chalks.

This is my 1st real attempt at collage of this kind so I welcome feedback.

Holiday Relaxation Part 2

2008-12-17T22:55:00.002-06:00

We're all feeling the stress caused by the economy. I've had to work at keeping it from making me into a Grinch myself. I've got a trick or two that have helped manage the stress on my bank account.
I previously said I don't do Christmas cards; there are a couple reasons for this. I don't see the reason to spend time writing out things people will likely toss after the holidays. Not only is it not a good use of my time and postage, it's not good for the environment. (But if you send me a card, or even better, a family update letter, I do appreciate that. As a single person, I just don't have enough news to warrant a more meaningful letter myself).
That being said, as a writer, I do sometimes like to create actual gifts by putting pen to paper. Hopefully these hand made gifts have a longer lifespan and more sentimental value for the recipient than a boxed Christmas card. Spending time making these gifts is also one of the ways I carve out that solitude and reflection time I need to balance the chaos of the holidays.
Aside from giving the gift of your art, also consider giving the gift of your time. This year I'm offering to spend time with my friends, and specifically spend it doing something they might need. Babysitting. Organizing. Filing. Cleaning.
As a recipient, if someone, not that I'm naming names here, but if someone were to want to give me the gift of cleaning my house and doing some general repairs and maintenance, that would be a most wonderful Christmas gift. I'm just saying.

Katerina's Twin

2008-12-15T18:24:00.000-06:00

more animals

Holiday Relaxation

2008-12-14T21:21:00.002-06:00

I've noticed an increase in the number of people who stumble onto my blog by googling "relaxing activities." I'm assuming this has to do with the busyness of the holidays and stress associated with the weather, the economy, etc.
So, how do you relax during the holidays? A quick scan of magazine covers at the store checkout counter will reveal plenty of articles promising countless ways to reduce holiday stress. So I was reluctant to address the issue for fear I'd be redundant. But, since we're all stressed I'll jump in with my own thoughts on relaxing during the holidays.
Any of those magazines will tell you that you need to prioritize your list of holiday activities. If the benefit doesn't outweigh the cost in terms of time, energy, and money, consider eliminating the activity. For me, balancing my list is also important. It's easy to spend all my time shopping, or running from party to party. Once I've overdosed on all the social stuff, I can easily retreat into contemplation mode, which is a good thing, but not to excess.
It works better for me if I can plan activities that allow for some solitude, intermixed with church and family gatherings. Because I'm a writer, much of my time is spent, well, writing. So sadly, I just gave up on doing Christmas cards. I maintain contact with my friends throughout the rest of the year, so the additional time writing isn't a good investment of my time when I need my energy for other things.
In a couple days, I'll share some ideas for managing the financial stress around the holidays.

Thank A Soldier

2008-12-11T21:14:00.002-06:00

The folks at Xerox have a neat program. If you go to their site you can pick a card that they will print up and send to a soldier serving overseas. The cards are all drawn by children. You can personalize it with one of several pre-written messages or write one of your own.
Whatever your political views, please consider taking a minute to thank these wonderful people celebrating the holidays away from their loved ones as they honor a commitment our country. Sending a card will literally take you less time than it took you to read this post.

Taize

2008-12-10T23:53:00.002-06:00

This sample of Taize music isn't from my church, but I wanted to share an example of the kind of music we worshipped with at our Advent service tonight. I love the chant style and have downloaded several Taize songs to my ipod. Hope you like it too.

A Few Fragments

2008-12-08T21:21:00.002-06:00

A Charlie Brown Christmas was on tonight. Watching it is one of my favorite Christmas traditions. "Tidings of great joy" gets me every time.
I've been thinking more about traditions since I started contemplating my New Year's goals. As I mentioned, I think this year calls for some changing of tradition. I'm not sure what I'm going to do on New Year's Eve yet either. I'm not into big parties and the evening alone actually doesn't appeal to me much either this year. Doesn't leave a whole lot of options. Maybe I'll spend New Year's Day making art.
On a different subject, I watched Boston Legal tonight. I don't watch much TV. In fact, this was the 1st episode of the show that I've seen. I really liked it. The problem is, I think this is the last episode of the show. Go figure.
Well, not much to say today. Hopefully I'll be more profound next time.

More Smiles

2008-12-05T23:45:00.002-06:00

The folks at Kleenex have made me smile. At their site, you can make a custom box of Kleenex. And there are tons of options, so it really is custom, not just a choice of a couple color combos. For five bucks you can customize a box of Kleenex. I have no idea why this tickles me so, but it does.
I stopped by Borders today & I was just going to warm up while reading a magazine. I had no intention of making any purchases. Then a the manager announced over the loudspeaker that all candy was buy 2, get 1 free. I couldn't just buy chocolate at Borders so I bought a magazine as well. Was this God speaking over the intercom and telling me to buy chocolate, or was it the voice of temptation attempting to sway me? I decided to avoid making it a theological issue and stock up on post-chemo chocolate. My smile was a bit wry in this case, but it was a smile nonetheless.
I'm looking forward to the local library sale tomorrow. I will get stacks of books, including some gifts, for the price of 1 book at the aforementioned bookstore.
While I restrained myself from making too many purchases that weren't on my list, I saw so many potential gifts that made me smile today. I love those little gifts that just beg to be given to the right person on your list. The trouble is, I see so many of them that once I get one, I'm hooked and before you know it I can blow my Christmas money on people I'm not even supposed to buy for! I try to get my friends and family bought for and then indulge in a few "extras" for the people I don't formally exchange with.
Finally, Katerina was extra cuddly today which is always cause for more smiles.

Makes Me Smile

2008-12-03T20:50:00.002-06:00

I've been disgruntled lately. Health, weather, work, people, it's all bugging me these days. I'm working on finding things that make me smile to try to help out with the things that don't.

Katerina sleeping in her new, fluffy, blue bed. Someday I'll get around to posting a picture.
The folks at LOLcats make me smile. I love that these cats can't spell, have poor grammar, and fail to understand stuff like the laws of physics. But they do have a remarkably sound theological doctrine.
When I paused from writing this, I turned to find Katerina at eye level with me, sitting right in the middle of my 7ft Christmas tree.

Mindfulness

2008-12-01T23:02:00.002-06:00

There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days. It's particularly popular among counseling professionals. Basically, mindfulness is the practice of staying fully present in the moment. It's often closely associated with Eastern philosophy/religion and Buddhist meditation. As a concept, I see nothing wrong with keeping generally focused on where you are and what you are doing. Indeed, a lot of therapy centers around troubles associated with dwelling too much on the past or worrying too much about the future.
Now, I'm not about to say mindfulness is against the past or future. I'm just wondering if the whole "be here now" phenomenon can be overdone and cause us to lose some perspective in life. After all, I can easily come up with equally pithy statements about learning from the past and planning/anticipating the future. The key is in how we think about our past, present, and future.
Does being "in the moment" translate to handling each urgent matter before you until it's 5PM and you realize you haven't planned so far into the future as to remember your child's basketball game? Does taking it "day by day" absolve you of setting long range goals and taking risks to do something bigger & better?
What about learning from the past? The only way to redeem a mistake is to learn from it. Guilt is healthy if it tells us "Hey, think about that differently next time. You'll feel better if you change how you handle that." Similarly, if worry about the economy and my financial future keeps me up at night, that's not so great. If the same concern causes me to trim my budget and add to my savings and then stop thinking about it, well, that's pretty useful.
I'm still trying to balance thinking about past, present, and future. How about you?

Signs of the Season

2008-11-30T20:19:00.002-06:00

I plan to get back to regular posting tomorrow. For now, I'm content to report that I'm back home and nesting my home for winter. The tree is up, with my brand new silver "Grace" ornament. For those of you keeping track, that's the 4th exception to the bears only rule for my tree.
I consider myself to be fairly low maintenance when it comes to personal upkeep. So while it's dismaying that it now takes so many lotions and creams to keep my skin from flaking away and my hair from flying away, the extra pampering is rather enjoyable.
I baked brownies tonight so the house smells good. The only problem is snow is in the forecast. I could do without that.
What do you do to prepare for the season?

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-24T21:39:00.002-06:00

If today was any indication of the week's busyness this will likely be my last post for the week. Everyone have a safe, happy, blessed Thanksgiving.
The students in my creative writing class were thankful for some interesting things today. I challenged them to write about anything but family, shelter, food, all the stuff we know we are thankful for. I so loved hearing their responses. A couple of things stood out. One person commented about things in her personality she is grateful for. At first, you might think this is prideful. But really, she was simply acknowledging her ability to see the gifts around her, as well as her own strengths; all of which have helped her through some pretty tough stuff. Other people talked about things we don't often take the time to be grateful for; things we in fact have a hard time being thankful for.
Think about your job or your education. In junior high school you probably weren't so thankful for algebra. Today, I have to admit I'm having a hard time being thankful for my job. But both education and employment are undeniable blessings not everyone has the opportunity to enjoy. So perhaps we ought to cultivate gratitude specifically for those things we have a hard time being thankful for.
What parts of your own personality were uniquely designed to help you face life's challenges? Which of life's challenges are you grateful for?

Motivational Tools

2008-11-21T21:35:00.002-06:00

I recently joined Twitter. I'd like to use it for networking, and as a way to enhance my productivity. My theory in joining it was that the brevity of the posts is appealing, and communicating with others would help keep me accountable in an almost micro-management sense. If I tell you I'm going to write or go do the dishes, I become a little more compelled to do so.
I'm still giving Twitter a shot, but I'm encountering a few roadblocks. One is that seeing the wonderful posts of all my creative writerly friends is actually a little intimidating. By the time I get home from work, people have twittered away for hours about their accomplishments. My little blog posts and couple of hours left for writing and art feel inferior by comparison.
So I'm going to go think about some ways to overcome my inferiority complex. As long as I'm in a true confessions mood, here's me current media line up:

Current music: So Cruel, U2
Current Netflix: Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, Season 2
Current read: Not currently reading any books; I am gleaning tons of info from my most recent issues of Cloth, Paper, Scissors and Discipleship Journal.

Changing Traditions?

2008-11-19T21:56:00.002-06:00

For the last several years, around this time I start to think about what goals I have for the upcoming year. I take a look at what I accomplished over the past year and where I fell short so I can adjust my goals accordingly. Along with setting specific, manageable goals in several areas, each year I select a Bible verse as my theme for the year.
As I've mentioned before, I like variety in my systems, be it for cleaning, exercise, or general time management. I'm wondering if this detailed approach to annual goals might not suit me at the moment. I do like the Bible verse theme for the year. I'm just at a loss for what to pick for this year. I do want some way to record my hopes & goals for the upcoming year. I'm just not sure where to start this year.
Over the next few weeks I'll be doing some thinking and experimenting with setting goals. I welcome any suggestions regarding how you approach your own New Year's goals & resolutions.

Well, Just Watch

2008-11-17T21:34:00.002-06:00

Short on time, short on energy, short on patience. And it's only Monday. This is for a friend who had as bad of a day as I did.

The Accidental Shopper

2008-11-12T22:19:00.002-06:00

Last weekend I'd planned a perfectly innocent trip to the bookstore with my Mom. I go every few weeks to pick up a magazine or two that I don't subscribe to for various reasons. Then my father suggested that we go to the mall and make it an afternoon "family thing." This should have been my first clue that something was amiss in the cosmos; dad wanting to go to the mall should have sent me hiding under the bed. Did I listen to the cosmos? No, I went to the mall.
So, the bookstore at the mall did not have the current issue of my magazine. There was an issue of a magazine I pick up only rarely, so I picked that up. Fair enough. Then I spotted a magazine I like, but never see at my own local bookstore. Vaguely acknowledging the fact that I was heading towards a slippery slope, I grabbed that magazine too.
Now if this bookstore has magazines my bookstore doesn't have, I reasoned they would be likely to have books my bookstore might not have. I just wanted to look at the books on handmade books, for my Christmas list. And one of the books jumped off the shelf and landed in my lap. I didn't mean for it to happen. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it). Figuring it was the cosmos speaking again, I went with it.
Finally, Mom wanted to pick out something to wear for Christmas. As Dad & I waited for her to try on various options, I realized we were waiting under a 50% off sale sign. I tried not to look at the clothes under the sign. I really did. But a flash of my favorite colors caught my eye. At half off, it was a good deal. The parental reviews on the blouse in question were mixed. Still, it merited a trip to the fitting room. Once the blouse was tried on, the parents supported the purchase, agreeing that it looked quite nice on me.
And that is how I spent ten times what I should have spent at the store last weekend. I blame the cosmos.

Don't Wanna

2008-11-10T23:03:00.002-06:00

I was out of town over the weekend so I have missed a post or two. Usually when that happens I have a hard time getting back into the habit of blogging. I almost skipped blogging tonight for that reason. But I started thinking about what I tell my Creative Writing students. I tell them to start writing about how they don't want to write.
So that's pretty much what I'm telling y'all. I'm tired. I have a headache. I have at least a half a dozen idea about future blog posts, but I just don't feel like writing them tonight. I was supposed to go to bed early and I've blown that goal big time. I have a hard time balancing writing with the other duties of life. If it's a night when I need to do other things, shifting gears to writing is hard.
Maybe that's what I need to work on. Transitions. I need to find a way to shift gears without stalling.
Would you look at that? I started out all whining and ended up with a take away- for myself. Hope it was useful to y'all as well. Any idea for transitions between activities?

Rethinking The Sabbath

2008-11-05T23:15:00.004-06:00

I've been having some trouble with my Sunday afternoons. Actually, the problem begins before that. By the end of the week I am so tired that I'm good for nothing on Saturday. So I putz around, watch movies, take naps, and do very little.
This means that on Sundays I have to do laundry and all the other chores that I didn't get to during the week. And try to squeeze in some productive writing and art time. I don't like this arrangement because I would prefer to have Sunday be my day of rest. I'm not happy with a "veg out" day substituting for time I could be using to grow spiritually and personally.
Enter Happy Fun Night. Some of you might recall that I recently started experimenting with making Wednesday nights my Happy Fun Night. This was to help get me through the week, as it can be challenging to do that some weeks. I've had occasional moderate success with this. I think it's hard to coordinate a major fun, or social event in the middle of the week.
So, I'm reinventing Happy Fun Night into a Sabbath Night. Reading, journaling, praying, yoga. And because both are a spiritual practice for me, I'm going to include art and writing. I might even let the occasional manicure and bubble bath slip in. I'm pretty sure God will be cool with that.

A Few Things

2008-11-03T20:13:00.003-06:00

Recently, I suggested that the folks at Levenger might owe me the new True Writer Fountain Pen they developed, plus five bucks. This was on account of how they reduced the price of a different fountain pen by five bucks just after I bought it. Not only did they then make this new pen that they did not see fit to give to me, they actually had the nerve(!) to create an even newer pen that I covet even more. Seriously, I mean, they ought to at least let me figure out how to justify one new pen before they go making another one.
In other news, I joined both Twitter and LinkedIn. It remains to be seen if either will be useful and in what capacity. I've already discovered both are less of a time sink than Facebook. In fact, one of my hopes for Twitter is that it will actually improve my productivity. I hope to use it as a way to "check in" several times a day. If I tell my followers I'm going to write, I'd better write.
Speaking of productivity, I cleaned off my writing desk and I reconfigured my art space. I'm particularly pleased with my art space. I made use of a CD tower turned on its side, a spice rack, an ice cube tray, and various other containers to clear the vast majority of my kitchen table. Now the space is ready for me to get to making some art. So there.

A Free Gift

2008-10-31T17:58:00.003-05:00

Grace
She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name
Grace
It's a name for a girl
It's also a thought that
Changed the world
And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness
In everything
Grace
She's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside
Of karma,
She travels outside
Of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear the strings
Grace finds beauty
In everything
Grace
She carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips
Between her fingertips
She carries a pearl
In perfect condition
What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stains
Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things
Grace finds beauty
In everything
Grace finds goodness
In everything

Grace, U2

Investments Part II

2008-10-29T20:04:00.003-05:00

Last time I wrote about the intangible investments we make. Today I'm going to try to sort out how that applies with how we invest our financial and material resources.
In the main, I have to say that being good stewards of our possessions means saving and giving are two major priorities. Oddly enough, the big choices are easier for me to make than many of the smaller choices I make with the change in my pocket. Give money to the Red Cross when a disaster hits? I find a way to make it work. Cable? No thank you. That perfect Christmas gift for a loved one? Squeeze it into the budget. Perms, manicures, and an extensive show wardrobe? I'll pass. The piece of furniture I'm in love with is on sale, or a friend invites me on a trip? If I'll regret not having it, & it's in the realm of possibilities, I go for it.
But what about the ice cream that's on sale? Or upgrading to some premium personal care products as a treat? Or spoiling my cat with yet another toy because I have to take her to the vet? For some reason, these choices tend to cause a little more hesitation. I don't think that's a completely bad thing because I believe it's my conscience's way of keeping the indulgences in check.
Still, we have been blessed with many wonderful gifts in this world and we aren't called to live our lives deprived of pleasure. Our lives are meant to be abundant. The little things that provide that abundant joy in each of our lives might be different. I buy all sorts of generic grocery products to try to tame the grocery bill. However, as I told someone the other day, I believe life is too short not to use the good Kleenex. And doing laundry is such a chore that I've decided to go on a mission to find the perfect smelling laundry soap. I already love clean sheet day, but it will be even better with the investment of an extra buck or two for just the right scent.
What do you invest in?

Investments

2008-10-26T22:18:00.005-05:00

We're all thinking and talking about investments these days. The stock market and the housing market seem to be the focus of many of the conversations I hear. As of late, these conversations aren't terribly positive either. Some of my recent blog posts have reflected on how disillusioned people can become when they invest in things that are superficial, temporary, or unpredictable.

While I don't think anything will adequately substitute for an investment in a faith based spiritual relationship with God, we are creatures of the earth and can benefit from wisely choosing where to invest our resources.

What does your "investment portfolio" look like? Where do you invest your energy? Where do you invest your time? How do you invest your words; the gift of communication with others? What does your investment in your relationships look like? Does the time & effort you spend with people reflect their importance to you? Does you need to balance your portfolio differently to better reflect your values?

Mostly, this is about how we invest our immaterial and non-financial resources. However, I've also recently started thinking about how to balance investments in the material and monetary world. I think I'll save that for another post.

Reformation

2008-10-26T18:06:00.003-05:00

According to the church calendar we celebrate Reformation Sunday today, even though the actual day is not until October 31st. It just falls that way this year on account of All Saints' Day being right after Reformation and then jumping right into advent.
Anyway, I know Martin Luther wasn't perfect, but I believe he did get quite a few things right in terms of his theology and did, in fact, effect much needed change within the church.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes from Martin Luther.

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.
Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.
Faith is permitting ourselves to be seized by the things we do not see.
Forgiveness is God's command.
God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.
To go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can not do otherwise.
I more fear what is within me than what comes from without.
The man who has the will to undergo all labor may win to any good.
You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say.

Sunday Funnies

2008-10-19T22:12:00.003-05:00

This morning started out peacefully as my kitten, Katerina, curled up next to me enjoying the last few minutes before I had to get up for church. She was the picture of adorable contentment; a purring ball of gray fur. That is, until her tail tickled her nose and woke her up. Her meow effectively communicated her disgruntled state as she grabbed the offending tail and commenced retaliation.
Try as she might, Katerina's tail would not be subdued. She attempted to stalk off haughtily, ostensibly to give her tail some time to think about what it had done. After a few steps, Katerina looked behind her. To her dismay, that disobedient tail was right behind her! The chase was on. Katerina ran through the house wailing and meowing urgently. Her tail never tired of following in hot pursuit. Every time Katerina turned around to see if she'd evaded it, the darn tail was still there!
Yes, I've heard that some people's pets chase their tails. My cat's tail chases her.

Friday Randomness

2008-10-17T23:10:00.002-05:00

Next week is going to be another busy and stressful week. I hope to post a couple of times, but I'm not making any promises.
I have added a few blogs to my list of friends in my sidebar. I found these blogs via networking on Facebook. I'm glad social networking utilities can be used for something other than procrastination and cures for insomnia. Anyway, while my posting is sparse, you might want to visit a few of these sites. These ladies are inspirational and insightful.
"My pen" recently went on sale at Levenger, hitting the price I'd targeted for when I'd break down & purchase it. So, I broke down & purchased it. A week later, they knocked another five bucks off the sale price and came out with a new pen that I'm drooling over! The way I see it, Levenger owes me five bucks and the new new pen. Right?
If nothing else, I hope to have some pictures of Katerina over the weekend and get them posted this week. She might even get a Halloween costume this weekend.
I'm currently reading 1984. I think it's very well written, but it certainly is intense & heavy. I'm stalled on it. I sometimes read two books at once. I think I'm going to have to pick something of a totally different flavor, particularly this coming week. It might be weird to read two very different books at once. Anyone got any ideas?

Vocation, Vocation, Vocation

2008-10-15T22:14:00.003-05:00

A big part of my job is vocational rehabilitation; I help people develop job skills and identify their particular strengths and interests. It's always annoyed me that the meaning of "vocation" has gotten watered down to mean "job" or "work skills." It's often even reserved for programs like mine that don't exactly measure up to "real" employment.
The meaning of "vocation" has its origins in religion. It refers to specific "impulses, inclinations, or callings" towards a given area of work (www.dictionary.com). Even if your work is not particularly spiritual in nature, the essence of vocation is finding out what it is you were designed to do.
For example, on my afternoon commute I found myself studying the bus driver. I've seen him before and know him to be a kind, friendly fellow. He gives a bit of extra attention to older folks who need time to get to their seats safely. He's actually told several teens to stop using filthy language because there are women and children on the bus.
Today, a woman and her two young sons got on the bus. Both shook the driver's hand in the handshake that all the cool kids are using these days. The older boy, maybe 10 or 11 years old, started telling the driver how happy he was to have made the basketball team at school. The bus driver beamed with genuine excitement and pride as if this was his own son. I imagine that perhaps this boy and his brother might not have very many male role models in their lives. The significance of the bus driver's interest was quite evident.
When we approached my destination, the bus driver asked if I wanted to be dropped off a block before the actual bus stop. It was raining and I have a disability. In the past, he'd observed me walking after I got off the bus & wanted to get me closer to home even if it wasn't an official bus stop.
You don't have to be a pastor, teacher, or doctor to have a meaningful vocation that influences others. A lot of people might view driving a bus as a job, and a not so great one at that. This bus driver has made his work his vocation.
What were you designed to do?

The Process of Writing: Counterpoint

2008-10-13T22:02:00.002-05:00

A writing friend of mine sent this in response to the video from our agent friend. It provides a different perspective on the process of writing. It's important to be balanced and fair, after all. Again, I hope this is helpful.

The Process of Writing

2008-10-12T20:29:00.002-05:00

A friend of mine who is an agent sent this clip illustrating the ideal flow of events in the writing and publishing process. I hope you find it useful.

Marketing Lessons

2008-10-11T21:28:00.002-05:00

The other day I went to Staples to get a laser pen for my kitten. Naturally, I got home and the thing did not work. So I waited until today when I had some free time to go return it. I was expecting them to try to get me to buy the upgraded model for an extra ten bucks. Of course, having to pay extra for something that actually functions is not a great way to create customer satisfaction, but that's about the only response I expected.
I didn't even get that. They scrutinized the receipt to make sure I was within my rights to even make the return. I've heard of "no questions asked" policies, but these people meant it. They did not even ask what was wrong with the product, or if I needed a replacement, or ask me anything for that matter. In spite of the fact that I told them it was broken, I wonder if they re shelved it anyway.
So I went across the street to CVS for a few things. I didn't expect them to have a laser pen, but I did find one in the office supply aisle. And, instead of being $17.00, it was $3.00. It also functions as a flashlight and a ballpoint pen. Yeah.
Pleased with this discovery, and the extra cash I now had, I accidentally wandered into the pet aisle. I found these cat toys that are designed to look like baby toys. Colorful "teething rings" that are even packaged to convince you that you are aiding your cat through crucial developmental processes. They are called "Petstages." I was completely aware that the whole thing was meant to appeal more to me as a cat owner rather than being particularly better for my cat than the empty toilet paper tubes she chews on. And I bought the darn toys anyway.
Then there's the fact that CVS may be one of the last places to carry Diet Coke Plus in the plastic bottles. Rather than spending $17.00 at Staples, I could have spent $3.00 at CVS. Instead, I spent $11.00 at CVS because they kept impressing me with stuff I didn't realize I needed! If you are going to be in the business of marketing a product or service to people, you need to deliver what you say you will, it needs to work, and it needs to be a good value to the customer. And it doesn't hurt to try to give a little something extra your customer wasn't expecting.

The Pianist

2008-10-09T21:15:00.003-05:00

I watched The Pianist the other day. (Yes, I know I'm behind the times). If, like me, you've waited to see it, you might not want to read this post due to potential spoilers. Fair warning.

The fact that his passion for the piano in fact saved the main character's life got me thinking about how people survived concentration camps. Viktor Frankl wrote about this very phenomenon in his book Man's Search for Meaning. He said that people who were able to find some spiritual significance, some reason to persevere despite the horrors they faced, these people were the ones who had the strength to survive.
I've been thinking about that in relation to self perception and identity. Many people identify their spouses or their careers as primary purposes for their existence. The passion for who or what they love keeps them going. For other people, it might be a pet, or a hobby, or the pursuit of knowledge.
If your resources are many and/or your trials are few, perhaps nearly anything you select will be able to bear the weight of providing meaning to your life. Even money might be enough to get you out of bed in the morning. But if your supports are few and your troubles are severe, whatever you select as the reason to get up out of bed in the morning had better be able to hold up to some intense stretching and pulling. What will you do when you wake up and the money is gone, the spouse is gone, and the job is gone?
I don't often talk about my faith outright on this blog. This is one of those rare exceptions. I have to say I'm glad that my primary Source of identity and motivation is changeless, doesn't depend on my own good behavior or success, and is big enough to carry the weight of my troubles.

Lost In Translation

2008-10-07T21:49:00.002-05:00

I just finished the book The Princess Bride. Of course, I've seen the movie dozens of times. Normally, I like to read the book before I see the movie. But I started watching The Princess Bride in college when I didn't have much time to read for fun.
At any rate I was very impressed with how well the story translated between the two mediums. Even elements of the narrator's voice seemed to be portrayed to some extent both in the book and the movie. The humor, tone, and style did not suffer in either method of telling the story.
Contrast that with The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Hilarious book. Mildly entertaining BBC TV depiction from what I saw. The movie released a couple of years ago was simply awful. It was just not funny. So much of what made the book work was the voice of the narrator and the movie version just wasn't able to convey the same nuances. Sure, they changed elements of the story but that wasn't the problem. It just didn't feel like the same story without the voice of the author.
Words convey information and tell stories. But it's more than that. Who is telling the words and in what context is important. How the words are shared is also important. Tone and style really make a difference in effective storytelling, and effective communication for that matter.

Tossed Salad

2008-10-04T20:13:00.003-05:00

My friend LeAnne recently featured singer Micheal Card on her blog. It was a really inspiring interview so I encourage you to go check it out. Several of the themes from that interview are tossing themselves with the salad in my brain. At some point, I'm hoping the whole thing comes together into something meaningful and conclusive regarding my own creative pursuits. Have you ever felt like that? Like you have a dash of something here, and a pinch of something there, and if you could just get the ingredients right you would have this fabulous recipe full of great flavor and nutrients?
This is the time of year I usually get organized and do a major housecleaning. Something about the school year triggers my love of office and organizational supplies. In fact, I tend to like organizing in general when I have a lot on my mind. Given that, I really ought to have a spotless house at this point. But the organizing thing hasn't been working for me as much recently. Perhaps that's part of why my tossed salad isn't coming together. I'm looking for the right combination of the familiar and the new to accommodate the changes. I'm also looking for tricks, rewards, and outright bribes to convince my creativity and organizational skills to get back into gear and start working together.

Thirteen Things About Cancer

2008-10-01T19:09:00.004-05:00

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Having lost a loved one to this disease a year and a half ago I couldn't not write something about this topic. I guess if you want to be technical some of the things on my list relate to cancer in general & not specifically breast cancer. I hope it is useful for anyone with cancer.

According to the American Cancer Society, the chances of a woman developing breast cancer are 1 in 8.
If you know someone with cancer or any serious illness, http://www.caringbridge.org/ is a great resource. It offers a free "homepage" with a blog like feature. You, or someone you elect, updates the page & friends and family can be notified when there is news. This cuts down on miscommunication & keeps everyone "in the loop."
I've recently re-discovered how wonderful it is to have people on your "team" who take initiative & make those logistical arrangements for appointments & referrals. If you haven't had to repeat everything from your diagnosis to your biopsy date to the results of your last labs to a half dozen people in 15 minutes, you have no idea how frustrating it can be. Yes, I'm perfectly capable of making my own phone calls. And yes, it's wonderful to not have to rehash the details of my illness over and over again. If you can be this kind of liaison for someone, do it.
I've recently shared about the free video game available from Hope Lab. It's a great tool for young people with cancer.
Schedule something fun for right after tests or treatment. It helps to have something to look forward to. Heck, this is useful for dentist appointments.
These days, many forms of cancer are treated as a chronic illness. Even if your cancer does not go into remission, in some cases it can be managed successfully for quite a long time.
The chance that breast cancer will be the cause of a woman's death is 1 in 35, according to the American Cancer Society.
There are DVDs like this one that teach guided imagery specifically for people going through radiation or chemotherapy. General relaxation techniques are helpful, but why not do something tailored to your exact needs?
In my experience, and mind you this is only my experience, chocolate helps with mild to moderate nausea. Hey, if you need to deal with cancer, you should get to eat chocolate.
Do something creative. Even if you don't consider yourself artistic engaging in a creative activity helps counter the destructive, negative impact of cancer.
There are many well known resources for support and research for all kinds of cancer. When you choose to participate in a fundraiser or other activity, be aware of what the money goes for, is it for research, treatment, or support?
Also, be diligent about researching smaller, more local organizations. Many times these groups offer specialized volunteer services that the larger groups do not.
There are people who will send cards and tell you to call them. Then there are the people who will write their phone number in the cards and tell you to call them. Those are the people you can call if you need someone to go to an appointment with, or to help with errands and chores.

Superman

2008-09-29T19:45:00.003-05:00

The anniversary of the death of Christopher Reeve is coming up. It just so happens that the Richard Donner cut of Superman II has come up on my Netflix queue. I find it very interesting to watch a different director's cut of a movie I've seen many times before; something we don't often have the opportunity to experience. It has me thinking again about creative choices.
When you read books or watch movies do you stop and think about the roads the creators and editors didn't take? What alternatives ended up on the cutting room floor? Why was one choice made over another? How would the same story look or sound different if it were told by someone else? In one sense, the story is what it is. But in another sense, story making is more fluid, perhaps without the finality we perceive in the end products of books & movies.
I am just glad I don't write fiction because I have enough trouble with the choices in my own life.

The word of the day is architeuthis.
The song of the day is The Space In Between Us, Building 429.
I finished Wind In The Willows & I'm not sure what to read next. Maybe The Princess Bride.

Irony

2008-09-25T21:48:00.003-05:00

How come when people make a "new & improved" version of something it usually means it's going to be more expensive, less convenient, and more trouble in general?
Granted, I understand very little about economics, but how come we can spend billions of dollars to bail out people whose job it is to manage vast sums of money, and then when we need to balance the budget we will do it by taking the few dollars left to the very poorest in our society?
How come my cat can keep me up for hours on end by running wild all over the place and then want to cuddle and sleep in the 10 minutes before I need to get up? And how come I don't then listen to her when she tries to convince me to stay in bed and read stories all day?

Next Year Is Here

2008-09-22T21:28:00.003-05:00

I orginally posted this a year ago. Now that the Cubs have once again won their division & are headed for the playoffs, I thought I'd repost it. Incidentally, a few posts ago I mentioned having a hard time picking a favorite post. I think this is one of them.

Growing up a Cubs fan had quite an impact on my development. I think I just realized this about an hour and a half ago. Let me tell you what the Cubs have taught me.
Loyalty Sometimes people disappoint you. People are human. Believe in them and come back to them anyway.
Persistence It's OK to be discouraged, but not for long. By the time you've showered & wiped the dust off your clothes you need to be telling yourself "there's always next year."
Have Fun I don't remember how old I was when I found out that not everyone sings "Take Me Out to The Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch, but I do remember I was appalled. How do the rest of you have any fun at a ballgame at all? Seriously.
Sometimes Small is Good They call it "The Friendly Confines" for a reason; it's small. But that's OK. And by the way, we don't need a bunch of cheerleaders or a half time show either.
Support Cubs players, fans, announcers, etc all make an effort to acknowledge the people who help them do their jobs. Remember the people who had your back, the hands that pulled you up, and the shoulders you stood on.
One more thing. It doesn't hurt that the Cubs' mascot is a bear.

Odds & Ends

2008-09-21T21:55:00.002-05:00

I have a headache. I meant to post earlier, but life has been getting in the way. I'm hoping that will change a little this week.
My cat still has not learned to do the dishes. She's still young though, so there's hope.
I made a book yesterday, which I am quite pleased with. I originally had other plans for it, but it wants to be for my brother. And one should not argue with a book as that is just a little bit weird. I was going to post a photo of it, but I was pretty wiped out by the end of the day.
So I guess unless you are my brother, this post might be a bit boring. I have other things to say, but my cat's tendency to sleep 16 hours a day is apparently contagious.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Silver Linings

2008-09-16T20:51:00.003-05:00

Even though it took me 2.5 hours to get to work yesterday, and even though it took twice as long as usual to get home, and even though my kitten waited until a week after her 1st vet visit to get sick, yesterday was full of brief moments where I suspect I was entertaining angels.
While my usual bus was extraordinarily late due to local flooding, the bus that is scheduled to arrive 2 hours earlier arrived just as I got to the bus stop. So my whole commute was at least spent on the bus. The usual driver is a bit cranky, but the driver of this "earlier" bus was very nice. And with not many passengers daring to brave the roads, it was generally quiet enough for me to read & think.
Although a bus never showed on the way home, the cab dispatcher suggested a highly efficient train route rather than what would have been a ridiculous fare with all the waiting in traffic. And the cab driver who took me to the train station charged me only a typical flat fare rather than letting the meter run as we hit traffic and experimented with side streets to take the proverbial scenic route to the train station.
And while I did have to drop another wad of cash on pet care, she's already doing better and isn't too mad at me for taking her back to the vet. The vet was also very nice to both of us.
So, despite the fact that I didn't get much work done yesterday, I didn't get dinner until 9PM, and my body still hurts from dealing with all the public transportation, I feel pretty lucky. After all, my place isn't flooded, I don't live in Texas, and the sun was shining today.

A Quote For Today

2008-09-14T18:29:00.004-05:00

I've mostly been relaxing this weekend, but now that it's Sunday night I've decided to get it in gear and do all the housework & other stuff I didn't have time to do this week. One of the things I need to catch up on is writing. However, I think I'm going to do most of that writing in my journal tonight. Maybe I'll share some of it later.
For now, here's a quote I came across the other day.

"If I knew you and you knew me: we would love one another regardless of who I am or who you are."
Eric Butterworth

Thirteen Things I'd Rather Be Doing

2008-09-10T21:23:00.003-05:00

Writing about all the great conversations I've had this week.
Finishing my brother's birthday present (only 2.5 hours left, not gonna happen).
Sitting on my balcony doing a whole lot of nothing.
Watching my latest Netflix movie.
Taking narcotics for pain management.
Eating chocolate (you know that had to make the list somewhere).
Napping/playing with Katerina.
Making a book.
Talking with my best friend.
Working out. Seriously. I have not had time. I want to. Really really.
Reading. Since when do I not have the energy to read?
Playing my video game. The latest scenario takes a long time & I just can't right now.
Crossing everything else off my list that prevents me from doing the aforementioned things.

Just A Quick Hello

2008-09-07T21:10:00.002-05:00

I haven't totally forgotten about the blog. I was just out of town for a long weekend. I also have a long week coming up, so I'll probably only post a time or two over the next several days.
Regarding my previous thoughts on nature, over the last few weeks, I've found several 4 leaf clovers. I'm not particularly drawn to them and I don't particularly buy the whole good luck thing. I also wasn't particularly looking for them. I've noticed that's when you tend to find that sort of thing.
My cat has been sleeping all afternoon. I think she's going to want playtime at 3:43 AM again.

Thirteen Bloggie Things

2008-09-03T20:36:00.002-05:00

This is my 2 year blogging anniversary.
This is my 226th post.
I've had over 3,700 visitors to my blog since it started.
That might not sound like much, but I'm happy with it since I don't do much of anything to promote the blog.
In fact, most of my visitors are friends and family.
I started the blog as a way to get back into writing when I finished grad school.
Blogging has helped me write with more consistency since I finished school.
Many people find my blog by searching for "relaxing activities."
I tried to find a favorite post, but I couldn't. The one on "Identity" might come close.
But the post I like best could change tomorrow.
People also stumble across my blog looking for bibliotherapy.
Or quotes.
Out of the last 100 visitors, a visitor from the Philippines ranks as the one who lives furthest from me.

Katerina

2008-09-01T17:38:00.004-05:00

The Forest For The Trees

2008-08-30T19:28:00.002-05:00

I recently talked with a friend of mine about trees. We share an affinity for trees for similar, but not identical reasons. There's just something about trees that is just reassuring and solid. They've seen a lot of history. Unfortunately, the same thing I love about their resilience and the reliability of their presence is also the same thing that also causes me to take them for granted. They're always there. Mostly, I notice them when they change with the seasons, which always gets me thinking about how they survive the cruelest of winters to come back every spring.
This conversation got me thinking about other things in nature that I'm drawn to. There are certain things I love that I (and most people who know me) am completely aware of. Lilacs, rainbows, anything having to do with spring. But I bet there are things in nature and in life that I'm drawn to without even realizing it. I'm going to make an effort to discover some of these things.

Current Music: This Is Me (You're Not Talking To), Randy Travis
Current Read: Wind In The Willows, Kenneth Grahame

Thirteen Random Things

2008-08-27T18:12:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite bloggers, Lee over at Little Nuances is back online. I'm quite happy about this and I hope you'll check him out.
There's this quote that I'm loving as of late. I just can't bear to put it on my list of faves next to the stuff by Mother Teresa and Emerson. "They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. But that's only if you twist the blade and lift up."
I'm really starting to dislike emergency rooms.
I found a new text & graphics tool, similar to Wordle. This one searches google images and blends them with the text you enter. Not sure about the applications because of copyright issues, but it still looks like fun.
My friend Paula posted pictures of the bears in her yard to her Facebook page. This totally made my day. I can't wait to go to Alaska!
Now that the Olympics are over, I need to seriously consider getting back to working out. I couldn't very well go work out over the last 2 weeks. I had to watch those athletes!
I found this great video game for people with cancer from Hope Lab. It's quite a lot of fun. Except when your character dies. There ought to be some counseling involved if your character in the game where you are fighting cancer doesn't survive.
I'm stalled on my current reading project.
Let's not even talk about my current writing project.
Furthermore, Netflix has effectively stalled my movies for the upcoming holiday weekend. I'm media deprived.
Did you know the leaves start to sound different late in the summer even before they change color? Seriously, if you listen they rustle more and just sound more autumn like.
The Anti Cruelty Society has a program where they temporarily house animals in crisis situations including domestic violence.
It's really hard to come up with 13 random things when I haven't written in a while.

13 Favorite Gifts

2008-08-13T19:16:00.002-05:00

A couple of Christmases ago I got a custom made poster for my brother, showing the night sky over Chicago on the day he was born. This was special for him because his birthday is on September 11th. His reaction was priceless.
The Christmas before last was a very sad one for me. A good friend of mine sent me Kleenex.
The first Christmas with my college roommate I got her a Disney movie she said was her favorite. She laughed until she cried when she opened it because it was one of those things that she'd just never get for herself.
I love the dictionary my aunt got my for my 8th grade graduation. The inscription makes it even more special.
Along with that I love the thesaurus my brother got for me.
Another aunt got me a postal scale so I can mail manuscripts without having to go to the post office. More than just office equipment, she invested in and validated my efforts at writing.
Several years ago I gave 90% of my beanie baby collection away to my young second cousins. There were many children and many beanie babies; pretty much the kind of fun Christmas is all about.
My ipod. Just about the only big ticket item on the list. It really improves my quality of life to be able to have portable music.
The tooth fairy gave me a great teddy bear when I got my wisdom teeth out.
I looked for a long time for the perfect bear for my kitchen (I need at least one bear in every room). When I was on a random shopping trip with a friend we found a Smokey the Bear. He got it for me just because.
I've given a bear to each of my friends when they have a baby. That's fun.
An old friend lost her childhood toy in a fire. I went on a mission to find a replacement in antique stores. It was so worth it.
The ornaments my mom gets for my Christmas tree, because she supports the idea that only teddy bear ornaments are allowed on my tree.

Gold Medals

2008-08-12T20:46:00.004-05:00

Once again I have a random stream of consciousness going that I'm not sure will amount to anything coherent. Last night I was at a meeting, so the lack of posting wasn't related to my lack of organized thought.
I'm loving the Olympics. The gymnastics, diving, and swimming are my favorites. Though I'm not quite sure why we have both volleyball and beach volleyball.
This week I gave my Creative Writing group the assignment of creating their own category of competition and handing out gold medals. Without exception, my group members gave out gold medals for merit in some area of relationships. Perhaps it was someone they directly interacted with and benefited from; a parent, a teacher. Other times it was simply someone they admire for how that person relates to others. Someone who has been a role model or demonstrated dedication towards helping others. I have to say I was proud of my group members for acknowledging that compassion, honesty and other relationship characteristics are more deserving of medals than speed or physical strength.
As an aside, my friends LeAnne and Crystal, along with Awareness, have posted some excellent thoughts as of late. Stop by and visit them for something a little more substantial than when I'm writing at the moment.

Understanding

2008-08-09T16:15:00.002-05:00

Do you ever wonder if God understands everything about what you go through? Some people think He'll understand about the big stuff, but sometimes it seems like the day to day stuff we deal with is fairly inconsequential. We kind of treat those things as though they are simply things we just have to deal with on our own.
I'm sometimes guilty of falling into that trap myself. The other night I was reading the Psalms and these verses reminded He gets even the "little things."

"My heart is in anguish within me,
the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
Fear and trembling come upon me,
and horror overwhelms me.
And I say ' O that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest;
truly I would flee far away;
I would lodge in the wilderness;
I would hurry to find a shelter for myself
from the raging wind and tempest'...
It is not enemies who taunt me-
I could bear that;
it is not adversaries who deal insolently with me-
I could hide from them.
But it is you, my equal,
my companion, my familiar friend,
with whom I kept pleasant company...
My companion has laid hands on a friend
and violated a covenant with me
with speech smoother than butter,
but with a heart set on war;
with words that were softer that oil,
but in fact were drawn swords."

What Is There To Say?

2008-08-08T18:48:00.003-05:00

About a year and a half ago I experienced the loss of someone I was very close to. Many people were very supportive of me during that time. Since then, I've experienced other losses and I've learned a great deal, some through the support of others and some in the absence of that support.
Now one of the friends who was so supportive during my time of grief is mourning a loss of her own. And despite everything I've read, everything I know about loss, and the countless acts of care and concern I've experienced from others, I do not know what to do or say. I cannot think of anything that would do justice to the kind of friendship she has shown me in my times of need. I cannot think of anything that can for one second diminish the helpless, empty pain of her loss.
There is hope for the future. And that does not change the fact that now is hard.

13 Things About Happy Fun Night

2008-08-06T18:54:00.003-05:00

I've got a disc of Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends to watch tonight!
I'm thinking of downloading this very cool video game targeted towards people fighting cancer.
The Olympics start in two days and I'm very much looking forward to watching.
I've got the AC off and the windows open for the first time in days.
I still have some Dean's chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream for dessert.
I've also got some delicious bread someone from work gave to me.
I have lots of podcasts to catch up on.
The train tracks by my house are now designated a quiet zone at night.
I'm actually starting to feel like I might want to get organized.
I'm actually starting to feel like I might want to write.
The book discussion has started off well.
It's less than 3 weeks before my friend comes back to work.
Everything feels better after a really good thunderstorm.

Assorted Thoughts

2008-08-05T19:36:00.003-05:00

Normally when I come back from a conference I take a day or two to metabolize all the information that was presented. So that's why I did not post yesterday as I usually try to do on Mondays. I'm still pretty lost in my head, so this isn't going to be the organized reflection I was hoping to write. I toyed with the idea of just posting the word salad in my brain and asking you to make sense of it, but I decided to try to make it a little more put together than that.

My brother says social networking applications are basically a big time sink. To some extent, I agree; but we all need a bit of something to sink our free time into now & again. Today I read an article on reasons to Twitter. Two reasons stuck out for me. One is that you are limited to posts of 140 characters. It forces you to write tightly. The other reason is it also forces you to think about what you do on a more "moment by moment" basis. Twittering puts your daily activities in a virtual fishbowl. So might the "time sink" actually lead to better choices for how to spend your time?
A quote I heard at the conference this weekend "I don't have enough faith to be an atheist." This really resonates with me & I've shared it with a few people which has led to some great discussion. Maybe I'll post more about it later.
I'm re-reading Walking On Water by Madeline L'Engle. If you follow this blog at all, you know it's one of my favorite books. Every time I read it, I get a new insight. Last night I read how artistic choices are choices of love. Both love and art are creational (is that a word?) and relational. And at times, confrontational. She says, "In a day when we are taught to look for easy solutions, it is not easy to hold on to that most difficult one of all, love." Later, she speaks of writing a novel as a risky venture many of us would step away from when it "demands a conscious falling through the window, a journey through the looking glass." Yes, I can see the connection between art and relationships.

13 Questions

2008-07-30T20:31:00.002-05:00

Which handmade books should I take to the conference?
Did I take my medicine tonight?
Why won't my insurance pay for the test I need?
Why is Dean's Chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream so good?
Why do so many people come across my blog by googling sad search terms?
Is my blog sad?
How should I dress for the conference tomorrow?
What questions should I ask for my book discussion group?
Why do people say things they don't mean?
Is next week's meeting going to be rescheduled?
Will a magic house fairy come & clean my home while I'm gone?
Will a magic work fairy come & do all my paperwork while I'm gone?
Am I forgetting anything?

Conference Time

2008-07-28T21:00:00.004-05:00

I'm attending a conference later in the week, so posting will be light for a few days. I forgot how much work it is to prepare for a conference. It's a whole different experience than the everyday routine. I'm hoping it will be inspirational and informational. I'm also treating it like a vacation, which I desperately need. I'm splurging on the hotel. Maybe I've even splurge on room service. I'll report more about it when I get back.