Poetry

I'm generally not that into poetry, but there are a few poems that I do like. This poem is one of my favorites for a number of reasons. For one thing, I like things with multiple meanings or interpretations. It's going to snow/ice/storm or do other generally unpleasant things tomorrow, and while the essence of this poem for me is deeper than the weather, I thought it was appropriate.

Dream Dust

Langston Hughes

Gather out of star dust

Earth dust, cloud dust,

storm dust,

and splinters of hail,

one handful of dream dust

Not for sale.

A Study In Contrasts

Last night at this time I was doing yoga by Christmas lights. Tonight I'm about ready to throw my computer out the window.
Doesn't it sometimes seem like as soon as you're resolved to do something the inanimate objects of the world align their forces against you and the goal you are committed to?
I've decided to get my stress under control, and the stress goblins got wind of this information. They've attacked my computer, they've given me insomnia. I'm convinced they are responsible for my increased clumsiness (and therefore increased bruising as of late), as well as for the snow in the weather forecast.
On the other hand, this is the time of year when I look at the goals I made back in January. My credit card is paid off. I'm within 5 pounds of where I want to be by the end of the year. I've survived some terrible, horrible, no good, very bad stuff this year.
So what can I say about something as minor as a few technical glitches and a day planner with not very much white space?
It's the little stuff that gets you. That's what I say.

Oh Christmas Tree

If you've read my 100 Things you know that I only have bears on my Christmas tree. You also know there are only three exceptions. If you don't know what they are, I'm not telling.
I just love putting up my tree each year. Now that I have a tree that's actually taller than I am, I do require assistance with the assembly of the tree itself (yes, it's a fake) and the lights. Even though my collection of ornaments is still fairly small, each one has a special meaning. Virtually all of my ornaments were given to me by friends or family. Funny how when people find out you like teddy bear ornaments they tend to pay attention.
There is a set of 2 ornaments that I bought for myself a few years ago. I was on the lookout for a 4th exception to my "bears only" rule. I wanted the perfect periwinkle round glass ornament seeing as how my tree has a notable lack of that style and periwinkle is my favorite color. So on a random shopping trip with a friend I discovered periwinkle, round, glass ornaments. With bears on them!!
Now I don't believe God is into materialism or commercialism, but that day I do believe I heard Him whisper "Hey, see that? I made it just for you."

Weather or Not

The weather around here has been pretty gray and gloomy. Usually a few days of dreary weather will start to bug me. However, I'm not complaining at the moment for a couple of reasons.
First of all, it's supposed to snow tomorrow. Just in time for the travel rush that I will, of course, be stuck in. So I'm going to suck every last minute of enjoyment from the lack of snow that I possibly can. That means cloudy, rainy weather is just fine, thankyouverymuch.
Secondly, it's foggy tonight. I love fog. You know how sometimes weather is just a bummer, but other times it seems to reflect a certain flavor of your mood? My mood can easily get wrapped in fog. Nothing makes me want to curl up with my journal more than a foggy, chilly night.
I have to fight the weather a lot in the winter. On days like today it's kind of nice to just go with it.

Do, Don't, Did

I was going to write about lists today anyway. Then I came across this recent blog of note which has a lot more to say on the subject. As a habitual list maker, I found it quite interesting.
Anyway, I love making my lists, but for various reasons I've become distressed because it's more & more difficult to complete the things on my lists. The more discouraged I get the less likely I am to follow my lists, which creates a horrible cycle.
Somewhere I read about reversing the concept and writing an "I did" list. At the end of the day whatever you accomplished gets to go on this list. If you find yourself at the end of the day marveling at how busy you were while your intended goals remain untouched, this kind of list is for you. It was quite revealing and validating to learn what I was so busy with. Sometimes I get sidetracked with time wasters, but sometimes I get sidetracked with things that are unplanned yet still important to me.
Just last week someone told me about the "not to do list." This is a list of perfectly good things one could easily commit to, but that would divert too much time, energy, and attention from the main things on your real to-do list. In theory, this list could go on forever, but the idea is to think about the kinds of things that tend to spread your resources too thin. Having a hobby is a perfectly good thing, but I need to devote my time to my existing hobbies so I don't go buying new materials that will just sit in the corner collecting dust. So no new hobbies for me for now. Volunteering is a priority for me, but I know if I sign up for another committee, I will have too many meetings to allow me to fully serve any of them adequately. So my "not to do" list includes not signing up for any other long term projects or committees.
I've got to go make my list for the week.

Time Flies

The other day I realized that the last weekend before Thanksgiving is nearly upon us. I know it's cliche, but how did that happen? Each year I seem to observe time differently. Two years ago, I could not wait for Spring because it signaled the end of my internship and the approach of graduation. Last year, as much as I hate Winter, I did not count the days until Spring because someone I loved had a terminal illness and I knew she was seeing her last change of seasons.
This year, I just have no idea where the time has gone. I'm somewhat busier than usual (except for when I was in grad school but that was just a masochistic anomaly). Anyway, each year I put up my Christmas Tree the weekend of Thanksgiving and take it down the weekend after New Year's. I have developed this tradition because if I don't do this at these scheduled times, I may never do one or the other.
Right now, this poses a minor problem because my home needs a little work before it's holiday ready. So I've got to figure out how to make time for all the things I need to do in the next 6 days.

Thursday Randomness

• You may have noticed that I've stopped putting my current read at the bottom of my posts. That's because towards the end of the blog sidebar, I have a Shelfari bookshelf. I recently changed it so it doesn't show graphics; just a list of titles and authors. It's not quite as colorful, but I think I like it better. What do you think?
• Have you ever had a creative idea that's just waiting to be born? I have these wonderful cedar bookboards, leather, and all sorts of decorative stuff I'm collecting to make a book. I can visualize the book, I just have no idea what it is about.
• I'm within 5 pounds of the weight I want to be by the end of the year. That's so close it's scary enough for me to want some ice cream.
• Today someone asked me if I've ever had a 2nd job to supplement the less than abundant income from community mental health. I said I used to be a freelance writer. That's so depressing.
• Last night I was reflecting on how I've been much busier & socially active in the last several months. First, I felt grateful for this because it's helped me through some deep, dark, ugly stuff. Then I scared myself because as it was, things were not fun. How bad would it have been if I didn't have the kind of involvement & support of others that I had???
• I'm so far behind on housework and all that kind of stuff. I've actually thought about hiring a housekeeper, just this once. But I really would have to clean the place before I could have the housekeeper come over.

Extra Time

It's no big secret that I hate winter. Besides the snow, it's cold and dark and dreary. Other than Christmas (and maybe my birthday) I don't find much to enjoy about winter.
This weekend marks one of the 1st signs of the change of seasons. We turn our clocks back an hour. So next week, when I leave my office at the end of the day it will be dark. I hate that.
The upside of this crummy little change is that we get an extra hour tonight. Most of us tend to apply that hour towards sleep. After not getting much sleep last night, I am particularly able to see the wisdom in that plan. But really, this is a whole hour we didn't have before. Sleep deprivation aside, I'm not sure I want this hour to disappear while I'm unconscious.
I don't know exactly what I'll do, but I know that recently many needs and wants in my life have not been given the attention I'd like. So what if I spent that hour doing something I don't normally make the time for? Maybe it'll be those household tasks that pile up. Maybe it'll be something fun, like exploring a new hobby. Either way, I'm glad winter at least has the decency to grant this little gift before it arrives and really starts getting on my nerves.