Saturday, December 05, 2009

Dear Steven Curtis Chapman

Today is the anniversary of the day I told someone I love very much that she was dying of cancer. She didn't understand the words the doctors used to say there was nothing more they could do, so it fell to me to explain it to her. Three months later, she did die.
Today is also the second anniversary of my own diagnosis of cancer. One year after I told that very special person that cancer would take her life I was diagnosed with it myself. While I have many supportive friends and family around me, it's hard for me to talk about my experiences. Today I especially felt it would be difficult to explain the complex emotions I'm feeling, and to be understood. If you didn't know the person I lost, it's hard to really know what it was like.
Today also happens to be the first time I heard the song "Heaven Is The Face."
I am amazed at the courage and strength it took to write and share this song. To mourn a loss so painful robs most people, including myself, of the energy and ability to even interact meaningfully with others.
After I listened to this song, I felt listened to. I wish you could grasp a sense of how I was really listening to you too.
Just thought you should know.