The Weekend Blogger

Around this time of year I start thinking about plans and goals for next year. I try to take a look at what worked and what didn't work over the past year. You know, keep what works and chuck the rest.
I haven't gotten very far, but these are some of the adjustments I am contemplating.

• Continuing the blog on a reduced, weekends only schedule.
• Building my own intensive topical bible study for the coming year.
• Experimenting with schedules and strategies that keep my energy level in balance (minor adjustments such as what time I exercise or take a bath seem to strongly influence fatigue and nausea).
• I'm still on the fence about writing, but I think I have determined that I will do some significant writing about writing and see where it takes me.
• Normally I dislike the strict "do this every day" type of goal. However, I think I'd like to follow what is something of a mantra in the creative/arts world. "Do something creative every day."

What about you? Any goals or plans for the coming year?

IL Budget Crisis

Today our nation celebrates its Independence. For many people in the state of Illinois, this celebration is bittersweet. The IL legislature has failed to balance the state budget. Some would say that it's good that the proposed cuts to social services were not enacted; hopeful that a belated resolution to the problem will come to pass. Unfortunately, for many of the state funded social service agencies, this resolution will come too late. Programs that serve women, children, the abused, and people with mental illness as well as physical and mental disabilities have already begun to close. With no funding source, these non-profit programs simply cannot function.
Ironic isn't it? On this Independence Day, many of us social service providers are wondering how to tell our clients that we can no longer support their goal of living as independently as possible. Oh, and did I mention that the aforementioned legislature, immediately after failing to balance the budget, voted themselves a two week vacation? They return to session the day before many checks that state programs try to cash will bounce.
I teach my clients that independence is connected to responsibility, maturity, and integrity. What am I supposed to tell them when our leaders take part in manipulative "negotiations" and vote themselves raises and expense free retirement plans, instead of cutting pork barrel spending?
I teach my clients that budgeting requires sound judgement and priorities. I live by these rules myself. I pay for my housing and chemotherapy before I decide how many times I can go out to the movies, or how many magazines and books I can indulge in each month. What do I tell my clients about a government that pays for designer "Welcome" neighborhood signs before it makes sure its citizens are fed, housed, educated, and medically cared for?
Please visit Save Our Services and help if you can.

"If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich." JFK 1.20.61

Significance

I had a great philosophical conversation today. We were discussing the topic of significance vs. insignificance. As an aside, one of my favorite things about this discussion is that it sprang from a question about the distinction between "nerd" and "geek." Look it up, if you don't know. But I digress.
One person commented that he felt like a nerd in school when he raised his hand to answer questions. Actually, the term "nerd" refers to an "insignificant" person. Wisely, another member of our group commented that supplying answers and contributing to the class knowledge and discussion is quite the opposite of insignificant.
This led to further analysis of how significance is determined. Society may believe you need to have an "other" to be significant. I think I am significant in and of myself. Is it what you do that makes you significant? Is it what you are good at? Or is it who you are? Or is it something else? Can you believe you are significant even if others do not? How? Why?
These are the things we discuss over lunch.

Share Joy

This week vocation has been a hot topic among the clients I work with. Many are not employed and given the current economy they are experiencing even less hope of finding any job, let alone one that they would enjoy. So we talked about what the ideal job would look like. After the initial fantasies about six figure paychecks, expense accounts, and 3 hour lunch breaks, one person hit on something. He said he wished he could sing because so many songs have deep meaning to a lot of people and he longs to bring joy to that many people.
So we brainstormed some viable ways to accomplish the goal of sharing joy without having to be discovered and sign a record deal. What about delivering flowers? Or being a porter at the airport? Or volunteering at a nursing home?
We spend a lot of time thinking about how happy we are in our jobs. Perhaps sometimes this is because we are in a job that truly is not a good fit. My dad is a paramedic. It's fulfilling for him to be able to help people. It would give me a panic attack to have to stick a needle in some one's arm. But what about the less dramatic examples? Maybe retail or custodial or secretarial work isn't your ideal job, but it's where you are at now. How can you use where you are to bring joy to others? Try it and I bet you might just bring some joy to yourself as well.

A New Quote

"What is to give light must endure burning."
Viktor Frankl

Holy Week

The last few weeks have been challenging, so I took some much needed time off from a few things, including blogging. I will be at a conference next week and I will likely be too busy and too tired to blog then.
So what do I have to talk about during this Holy Week? It always seems that my words are insufficient to describe my experience of the week we commemorate the passion of our Lord. It's a very contemplative, introspective time for me. It's also hard to articulate my thoughts. Yet each year, God teaches me something new and different about some element of the events of Holy Week.
Our sermon on Sunday focused on how Mary did a "beautiful thing" by anointing Jesus with expensive perfume. She was not aware of the events to come, nor could she have stopped them if she knew, but "she did what she could" to show her love for Jesus. Hers was a radical expression of faith and devotion as Jesus approached what He knew would be terrible agony and suffering. In short order, Jesus' friends betrayed, denied, and abandoned Him. Even His Father forsook Him for a time so we would never have to know the pain of that separation.
I know that when people are powerless to change my own painful circumstances it means something when they choose to "do what they can," even at their own expense. Some people find it difficult to stick around during the hard times. It's easy to love and call someone your friend during the good times. Real commitment is needed when the going gets tough.
I wonder if Christ thought of Mary's act of devotion while He was on the cross. I wonder if she ever knew how much she really did.

What Bernie Should Do

I normally do not write about business or political things on my blog. However, today I started working up a head of steam about something and I figured I'd share.
Bernie Madoff was not content with the vast sums of money he earned in his very successful position. So he stole even more money from many, many people who had set that money aside after working for it. The kinds of people he stole from are people who didn't want to be a burden to their kids, or perhaps they were concerned about how long the money would last upon retirement given the overall economy. Maybe they'd planned to travel through their golden years, after decades of hard work.
So why is it that after that this guy has stolen from so many "regular" folks, us "regular" taxpayers are now going to pay more to send him to jail? I don't get it. Granted I don't know everything about the story. I haven't diligently kept up with it, and this sort of thing is not my area of expertise. But here's what I think Bernie Madoff should do.
I think he should go back to work. And I think he should continue to receive his pre-existing salary. However, he's proven he cannot handle the responsibility of his position nor the income he was accustomed to. So, he ought to go back to his huge empire and start at the bottom. In the mail room. Bernie Madoff should be the assistant to the newest, greenest, youngest employee in the mail room. He should have to be the gopher to the gophers.
He should have to go fetch lattes for his "boss" and friends. And when he returns he'd better be sure to count out the coins and state "Here's your change, sir." As for his salary, Bernie himself ought to get a sense of what it's like to live on a fixed income. Perhaps minimum wage, or the Social Security benefits many of his victims will now need to settle for. Under the supervision of an accountant, he should be expected to write weekly checks consisting of the remainder of his salary which would go into a fund to repay his victims.
That's what I think Bernie should do.

Not All Your Fault

Once again I am touched by the number of people who stumble across my blog looking for "relaxing activities" or "how to get through a bad day." Or even, "and death shall be no more (comma) death thou shalt die." Today I am commiserating with these people as the calendar fast approaches the anniversary of the day I lost someone very important to me.
In stark contrast to this, there are the pettier issues we have to deal with each day. Someone close to me was telling me that he has an infallible co-worker. This person he works with is certain you either spoke wrong, heard wrong, or meant something wrong. If you suggest she is making an assumption, she states you made an implication. If she is angry, it is in response to your behavior. On the other hand, if you are angry, you must have jumped to a conclusion or otherwise miscommunicated somehow.
Let me reassure you, it can not always be your fault all the time for everything. Everybody makes mistakes. Sometimes it's your fault. Sometimes it might even be all your fault. I'd venture to say that if you are anything like me, most of the time it's probably partly your fault. However, it takes at least two people to create a dynamic and you just can't bear all of the responsibility all of the time. Life has so many other things to focus on.

Discoveries Pt. 2

I've been tracking my schedule on MS Outlook for over a week now. The first thing that has been revealed to me is that I am tired. I don't mean "I could take a nap." I mean exhausted and drained of energy; to the core. Henceforth, I have decided to stop beating myself up for my lack of productivity on my weeknights.
I have about 5 hours each evening before I go to bed. Once I started tracking how long it actually takes to eat dinner, get ready for work the next day, and maintain a basic minimum of organization to my home and personal life, I realized I am lucky to blog and to return phone calls and emails in a timely manner. I now grant myself permission to "waste" the remaining 47 minutes of my evenings watching TV, messing around on Facebook, reading, or scoring Katerina some great catnip and watching the resulting amusement.
I know there are parents who do much more with their evenings, and many authors have managed to write more than one book with the same few hours. I admire them. Once upon a time, I was among the super achievers as well. My standards have changed. Those little color coded blocks of time graphically illustrate work, creativity, family, and church as my priorities. I can't force a clean house or a sold manuscript into the remaining sliver of white space. So I'm going to go watch TV with my cat.

Mindfulness

There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days. It's particularly popular among counseling professionals. Basically, mindfulness is the practice of staying fully present in the moment. It's often closely associated with Eastern philosophy/religion and Buddhist meditation. As a concept, I see nothing wrong with keeping generally focused on where you are and what you are doing. Indeed, a lot of therapy centers around troubles associated with dwelling too much on the past or worrying too much about the future.
Now, I'm not about to say mindfulness is against the past or future. I'm just wondering if the whole "be here now" phenomenon can be overdone and cause us to lose some perspective in life. After all, I can easily come up with equally pithy statements about learning from the past and planning/anticipating the future. The key is in how we think about our past, present, and future.
Does being "in the moment" translate to handling each urgent matter before you until it's 5PM and you realize you haven't planned so far into the future as to remember your child's basketball game? Does taking it "day by day" absolve you of setting long range goals and taking risks to do something bigger & better?
What about learning from the past? The only way to redeem a mistake is to learn from it. Guilt is healthy if it tells us "Hey, think about that differently next time. You'll feel better if you change how you handle that." Similarly, if worry about the economy and my financial future keeps me up at night, that's not so great. If the same concern causes me to trim my budget and add to my savings and then stop thinking about it, well, that's pretty useful.
I'm still trying to balance thinking about past, present, and future. How about you?

Investments Part II

Last time I wrote about the intangible investments we make. Today I'm going to try to sort out how that applies with how we invest our financial and material resources.
In the main, I have to say that being good stewards of our possessions means saving and giving are two major priorities. Oddly enough, the big choices are easier for me to make than many of the smaller choices I make with the change in my pocket. Give money to the Red Cross when a disaster hits? I find a way to make it work. Cable? No thank you. That perfect Christmas gift for a loved one? Squeeze it into the budget. Perms, manicures, and an extensive show wardrobe? I'll pass. The piece of furniture I'm in love with is on sale, or a friend invites me on a trip? If I'll regret not having it, & it's in the realm of possibilities, I go for it.
But what about the ice cream that's on sale? Or upgrading to some premium personal care products as a treat? Or spoiling my cat with yet another toy because I have to take her to the vet? For some reason, these choices tend to cause a little more hesitation. I don't think that's a completely bad thing because I believe it's my conscience's way of keeping the indulgences in check.
Still, we have been blessed with many wonderful gifts in this world and we aren't called to live our lives deprived of pleasure. Our lives are meant to be abundant. The little things that provide that abundant joy in each of our lives might be different. I buy all sorts of generic grocery products to try to tame the grocery bill. However, as I told someone the other day, I believe life is too short not to use the good Kleenex. And doing laundry is such a chore that I've decided to go on a mission to find the perfect smelling laundry soap. I already love clean sheet day, but it will be even better with the investment of an extra buck or two for just the right scent.
What do you invest in?

Investments

We're all thinking and talking about investments these days. The stock market and the housing market seem to be the focus of many of the conversations I hear. As of late, these conversations aren't terribly positive either. Some of my recent blog posts have reflected on how disillusioned people can become when they invest in things that are superficial, temporary, or unpredictable.

While I don't think anything will adequately substitute for an investment in a faith based spiritual relationship with God, we are creatures of the earth and can benefit from wisely choosing where to invest our resources.

What does your "investment portfolio" look like? Where do you invest your energy? Where do you invest your time? How do you invest your words; the gift of communication with others? What does your investment in your relationships look like? Does the time & effort you spend with people reflect their importance to you? Does you need to balance your portfolio differently to better reflect your values?

Mostly, this is about how we invest our immaterial and non-financial resources. However, I've also recently started thinking about how to balance investments in the material and monetary world. I think I'll save that for another post.

Vocation, Vocation, Vocation

A big part of my job is vocational rehabilitation; I help people develop job skills and identify their particular strengths and interests. It's always annoyed me that the meaning of "vocation" has gotten watered down to mean "job" or "work skills." It's often even reserved for programs like mine that don't exactly measure up to "real" employment.
The meaning of "vocation" has its origins in religion. It refers to specific "impulses, inclinations, or callings" towards a given area of work (www.dictionary.com). Even if your work is not particularly spiritual in nature, the essence of vocation is finding out what it is you were designed to do.
For example, on my afternoon commute I found myself studying the bus driver. I've seen him before and know him to be a kind, friendly fellow. He gives a bit of extra attention to older folks who need time to get to their seats safely. He's actually told several teens to stop using filthy language because there are women and children on the bus.
Today, a woman and her two young sons got on the bus. Both shook the driver's hand in the handshake that all the cool kids are using these days. The older boy, maybe 10 or 11 years old, started telling the driver how happy he was to have made the basketball team at school. The bus driver beamed with genuine excitement and pride as if this was his own son. I imagine that perhaps this boy and his brother might not have very many male role models in their lives. The significance of the bus driver's interest was quite evident.
When we approached my destination, the bus driver asked if I wanted to be dropped off a block before the actual bus stop. It was raining and I have a disability. In the past, he'd observed me walking after I got off the bus & wanted to get me closer to home even if it wasn't an official bus stop.
You don't have to be a pastor, teacher, or doctor to have a meaningful vocation that influences others. A lot of people might view driving a bus as a job, and a not so great one at that. This bus driver has made his work his vocation.
What were you designed to do?

Marketing Lessons

The other day I went to Staples to get a laser pen for my kitten. Naturally, I got home and the thing did not work. So I waited until today when I had some free time to go return it. I was expecting them to try to get me to buy the upgraded model for an extra ten bucks. Of course, having to pay extra for something that actually functions is not a great way to create customer satisfaction, but that's about the only response I expected.
I didn't even get that. They scrutinized the receipt to make sure I was within my rights to even make the return. I've heard of "no questions asked" policies, but these people meant it. They did not even ask what was wrong with the product, or if I needed a replacement, or ask me anything for that matter. In spite of the fact that I told them it was broken, I wonder if they re shelved it anyway.
So I went across the street to CVS for a few things. I didn't expect them to have a laser pen, but I did find one in the office supply aisle. And, instead of being $17.00, it was $3.00. It also functions as a flashlight and a ballpoint pen. Yeah.
Pleased with this discovery, and the extra cash I now had, I accidentally wandered into the pet aisle. I found these cat toys that are designed to look like baby toys. Colorful "teething rings" that are even packaged to convince you that you are aiding your cat through crucial developmental processes. They are called "Petstages." I was completely aware that the whole thing was meant to appeal more to me as a cat owner rather than being particularly better for my cat than the empty toilet paper tubes she chews on. And I bought the darn toys anyway.
Then there's the fact that CVS may be one of the last places to carry Diet Coke Plus in the plastic bottles. Rather than spending $17.00 at Staples, I could have spent $3.00 at CVS. Instead, I spent $11.00 at CVS because they kept impressing me with stuff I didn't realize I needed! If you are going to be in the business of marketing a product or service to people, you need to deliver what you say you will, it needs to work, and it needs to be a good value to the customer. And it doesn't hurt to try to give a little something extra your customer wasn't expecting.

Next Year Is Here

I orginally posted this a year ago. Now that the Cubs have once again won their division & are headed for the playoffs, I thought I'd repost it. Incidentally, a few posts ago I mentioned having a hard time picking a favorite post. I think this is one of them.

Growing up a Cubs fan had quite an impact on my development. I think I just realized this about an hour and a half ago. Let me tell you what the Cubs have taught me.
Loyalty Sometimes people disappoint you. People are human. Believe in them and come back to them anyway.
Persistence It's OK to be discouraged, but not for long. By the time you've showered & wiped the dust off your clothes you need to be telling yourself "there's always next year."
Have Fun I don't remember how old I was when I found out that not everyone sings "Take Me Out to The Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch, but I do remember I was appalled. How do the rest of you have any fun at a ballgame at all? Seriously.
Sometimes Small is Good They call it "The Friendly Confines" for a reason; it's small. But that's OK. And by the way, we don't need a bunch of cheerleaders or a half time show either.
Support Cubs players, fans, announcers, etc all make an effort to acknowledge the people who help them do their jobs. Remember the people who had your back, the hands that pulled you up, and the shoulders you stood on.
One more thing. It doesn't hurt that the Cubs' mascot is a bear.

Thirteen Things I'd Rather Be Doing

1. Writing about all the great conversations I've had this week.
2. Finishing my brother's birthday present (only 2.5 hours left, not gonna happen).
3. Sitting on my balcony doing a whole lot of nothing.
4. Watching my latest Netflix movie.
5. Taking narcotics for pain management.
6. Eating chocolate (you know that had to make the list somewhere).
7. Napping/playing with Katerina.
8. Making a book.
9. Talking with my best friend.
10. Working out. Seriously. I have not had time. I want to. Really really.
11. Reading. Since when do I not have the energy to read?
12. Playing my video game. The latest scenario takes a long time & I just can't right now.
13. Crossing everything else off my list that prevents me from doing the aforementioned things.

Gold Medals

Once again I have a random stream of consciousness going that I'm not sure will amount to anything coherent. Last night I was at a meeting, so the lack of posting wasn't related to my lack of organized thought.
I'm loving the Olympics. The gymnastics, diving, and swimming are my favorites. Though I'm not quite sure why we have both volleyball and beach volleyball.
This week I gave my Creative Writing group the assignment of creating their own category of competition and handing out gold medals. Without exception, my group members gave out gold medals for merit in some area of relationships. Perhaps it was someone they directly interacted with and benefited from; a parent, a teacher. Other times it was simply someone they admire for how that person relates to others. Someone who has been a role model or demonstrated dedication towards helping others. I have to say I was proud of my group members for acknowledging that compassion, honesty and other relationship characteristics are more deserving of medals than speed or physical strength.
As an aside, my friends LeAnne and Crystal, along with Awareness, have posted some excellent thoughts as of late. Stop by and visit them for something a little more substantial than when I'm writing at the moment.

Assorted Thoughts

Normally when I come back from a conference I take a day or two to metabolize all the information that was presented. So that's why I did not post yesterday as I usually try to do on Mondays. I'm still pretty lost in my head, so this isn't going to be the organized reflection I was hoping to write. I toyed with the idea of just posting the word salad in my brain and asking you to make sense of it, but I decided to try to make it a little more put together than that.

• My brother says social networking applications are basically a big time sink. To some extent, I agree; but we all need a bit of something to sink our free time into now & again. Today I read an article on reasons to Twitter. Two reasons stuck out for me. One is that you are limited to posts of 140 characters. It forces you to write tightly. The other reason is it also forces you to think about what you do on a more "moment by moment" basis. Twittering puts your daily activities in a virtual fishbowl. So might the "time sink" actually lead to better choices for how to spend your time?
• A quote I heard at the conference this weekend "I don't have enough faith to be an atheist." This really resonates with me & I've shared it with a few people which has led to some great discussion. Maybe I'll post more about it later.
• I'm re-reading Walking On Water by Madeline L'Engle. If you follow this blog at all, you know it's one of my favorite books. Every time I read it, I get a new insight. Last night I read how artistic choices are choices of love. Both love and art are creational (is that a word?) and relational. And at times, confrontational. She says, "In a day when we are taught to look for easy solutions, it is not easy to hold on to that most difficult one of all, love." Later, she speaks of writing a novel as a risky venture many of us would step away from when it "demands a conscious falling through the window, a journey through the looking glass." Yes, I can see the connection between art and relationships.

Find Cheap Gas!

I didn't think I was going to post today because I am well aware that yesterday's post was about 3 days worth of blogging in one go.
However, I ran across this link at a fellow blogger's site. I checked it out & while not all cities have current information, many of them did. And within each city, gas prices fluctuate 6-10 cents per gallon. That's not even taking into consideration the fact that many people travel through several communities each day. So it might be worth it to look up cities near you and see if gas is cheaper a block or two away from where you usually travel.
The site is Gas Buddy.
Happy travels.

Home of the Brave

What come to mind when you think of the Fourth of July? Among the many answers I get from my weekly creative writing group, freedom and independence are always popular responses. We have gotten so used to exploring these common themes around the Fourth of July that the writing exercises lose freshness; they begin to all sound similar and familiar.
This year was different for me. I spent a lot of time this week with someone I consider to be very brave, which got me thinking about that quality that our national anthem proclaims we're all supposed to have. I've done a lot of thinking on the subject and I have more questions than answers at this point.
What makes a person brave? Is it something we're born with, or is it developed through circumstances? Can a person who isn't brave learn to be brave? Being brave is likely to lead to bigger challenges where more bravery is required. How do you measure bravery? If being brave is going to lead to bigger risks, how do you overcome that fear? People who are brave often have their thoughts focused on something bigger than the fear, which supplies the energy to the bravery. What do you do when the fear is bigger than the bravery?