Annoyances

It's the little things that are most likely to send me over the deep end. Really.
I haven't been able to post because of computer problems.
I haven't been able to watch movies because Netflix has been holding out on me and/or sending me damaged discs.
Once a week, I reward myself for working out with a small candy bar from the vending machine at the rec center. The vending machine didn't work today. Let's not talk about the irony of a candy machine at a rec center focused on health & fitness.
Despite working out several times a week, I haven't been able to lose much weight. I refuse to believe the one candy bar a week is a problem.
And, because I've been working out, I have not done much else. I want to make sure I get this into my routine as a priority. So other stuff (like dusting and laundry and blogging) is less of a priority.
Hmmm. It seems the bulk of my problems at this point are caused by working out. Something to think about.

DVD Extras

Over at Little Nuances, Lee recently discussed how he doesn't like to watch the commentaries and extra stuff on DVDs. I can understand his unwillingness to spoil the movie magic. I completely agree with him that the alternate ending of Rocky Balboa was totally unsatisfying. I wish Stallone had never even contemplated filming it that way. But he did.
However, I still find myself drawn to the special features on DVDs. I like hearing about how other artists approach their craft. On the recent live action version of Charlotte's Web, the commentaries gave some wonderful insights into the film. The opening is not the same as it is in the book. Instead, the director researched E.B. White's early writings on the book and selected one of about 17 alternative openings the author himself had considered. The director thought this opening played out better on film. Maybe, maybe not, but I can certainly respect the effort he went to in remaining true to the story.
As for spoiling the movie magic, I've watched the extra stuff on the Lord of the Rings trilogy almost as many times as I've watched the movies themselves. At one point, the commentary delves into how they computer animated some of the horses so the real ones wouldn't get hurt during the intense battle scenes. I suddenly realized that the honest question in my mind was "how did the Nazgul know to only swoop down on the computer generated horses?"
If you know anything about the story, you know the Nazgul are fictional and therefore also computer generated.
I guess the magic is still intact for me.

Top Ten Random Thoughts

• I got a new catalog from Levenger today. I just promised myself I'd stop spending money. I need some more reasons not to get the new fountain pen on the 1st page.
• I also just updated my Shelfari widget. Let me know what you think.
• I just got a new coffee table. Upon placing it in front of my sofa and putting the remote & some coasters on it, my friend Kathe & I sat down to admire it. She said "it needs a bear." She knows me too well.
• I've started working out on the treadmill at the local rec center. I can comfortably walk 1/3 of a mile. My goal is to walk 3 miles by next Mother's Day. It's cheating to move the decimal place, isn't it?
• I asked Kathe if a different color paint would help my ugly kitchen counter. She told me nothing will help the ugly kitchen counter. Good friends are honest like that.
• I recently discovered chocolate covered sunflower seeds. Yum.
• My computer is running really slowly and that is going to impact how much work I get done tonight.
• I know 2 people who are done with their Christmas shopping already.
• It's hard for me to enjoy Fall because it basically just means that winter is coming. But the weather is good for sleeping.
• I'm on the hunt for some good pillar candles and I haven't found anything I like at this point. Good candles are harder to find than I thought.

I've Been Writing

The main reason I haven't written on the blog recently is because I've been caught up in other writerly pursuits. I've been writing an article. An actual article, on a publishable subject. Although, the article has a way to go before it will be publishable.
I've also written some promotional material for our church's Spiritual Gifts program.
The writing group I belong to has been reading and discussing Girl Meets God, by Lauren Winner.
So you see, I've been writing. Just not on the blog. However, I have added a new link or two that you might want to check out. I hope to be adding more soon. Old Fashioned Girl's blog is interesting. I like a lot of her insights. Stop by and take a look.

Some Minor Observations

I meant to post last night. I was all impressed with myself and motivated after last week's streak of 3 posts on the days I actually intended them. Then I had a workshop yesterday on "The Grieving Therapist." So when I got home, I was a bit drained. A little too incoherent to post.
I did want to point out that I learned a few things. In the first place, just because I have a PaperSource near me is no reason to keep me from visiting the PaperSource out in Evanston, because, after all, when do I get out to Evanston? And what if they have something at that store they don't have here? As it turns out, they did have some gel medium I need for a few transfer techniques I've been wanting to try. They also had some ribbon I needed for a gift I'm working on.
Oh, wait, what did I learn at the workshop? Well, it was nice to be in a room with no judgement. No one was saying "gees, it's been 6 months, aren't you better yet? You're supposed to be a therapist you know." I came away with a few tips and tricks for taking care of myself while staying focused on my responsibilities and not backing away from the commitments I've made at work.
Sometimes the validation at this sort of thing is worth the price of admission. We talked about how as women and as therapists, we tend to be, umm, flexible with scheduling time for ourselves. The thing is, when the depletion reaches a critical level it's like a survival reflex kicks in. And suddenly, manicures become a matter of survival. You'd think a manicure lasts about a week, right? That's what I always used to think. But that manicure I gave myself yesterday, that was for yesterday. What about today? I need something for today.
It used to be that if I filled up "the well" I could live on that for a while. This whole idea of daily "me-ness" is driving me up a wall. I'm all for a bit of self indulgence, but I've got stuff to do! Reading, socializing, and manicures have become as essential to my daily routine as showering and eating. Everything I put into the well yesterday has been consumed, evaporated. So even though my nails are just lovely, I need another manicure.

I've Been Interviewed!

My friend Crystal over at the Chat & Chew Cafe has this great series of interviews going called "When I Was Just a Kid." She just posted an interview she did with me. Thanks Crystal!
And hello to all of you new visitors who are likely stopping by as a result of Crystal's interview. Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Madeline L'Engle

Madeline L'Engle recently died. I've written about her book Walking on Water several times. It's one of my favorite books. I thought for my Top Ten today, I share some of my favorite quotes from this book in memory of Madeline.

• The artist is a servant who is willing to be a birthgiver.
• Until I have worked through self, I will not be enabled to get out of the way.
• Stories are able to help us to become more whole, to become Named. And Naming is one of the impulses behind all art; to give an name to the cosmos we see despite all the chaos.
• There is much that we cannot understand, but our lack of comprehension neither negates nor eliminates it.
• God understands that part of us which is more than we think we are.
• Art is communication, and if there is no communication it is as through the work had been still-born.
• I want to be open to God, not to what man says about God.
• Ultimately, when you are writing, you stop thinking and write what you hear.
• The greater the radius of light, the wider the perimeter of darkness.
• I must have more faith in the work than I have in myself.

Chicago Cubs

Growing up a Cubs fan had quite an impact on my development. I think I just realized this about an hour and a half ago. Let me tell you what the Cubs have taught me.
Loyalty Sometimes people disappoint you. People are human. Believe in them and come back to them anyway.
Persistence It's OK to be discouraged, but not for long. By the time you've showered & wiped the dust off your clothes you need to be telling yourself "there's always next year."
Have Fun I don't remember how old I was when I found out that not everyone sings "Take Me Out to The Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch, but I do remember I was appalled. How do the rest of you have any fun at a ballgame at all? Seriously.
Sometimes Small is Good They call it "The Friendly Confines" for a reason; it's small. But that's OK. And by the way, we don't need a bunch of cheerleaders or a half time show either.
Support Cubs players, fans, announcers, etc all make an effort to acknowledge the people who help them do their jobs. Remember the people who had your back, the hands that pulled you up, and the shoulders you stood on.
One more thing. It doesn't hurt that the Cubs' mascot is a bear.

Introversion

A couple of days ago I mentioned I'd like to work on outsourcing tasks that take up a disproportionate amount of my time and energy. While I was brainstorming a list of potential things to outsource, I came to the conclusion that I would love to outsource all the networking and excess small chatty socializing that seems to go along with being a successful writer.
The problem is, I'm an introvert. If I were any more of an introvert, I might just be a hobbit. And my day job is professional counseling. Now before you go making faces, introverts can make good counselors because we are good listeners. It's just that by the end of the day, I'm done with the whole talking to people thing.
My friend Cris is really good at connecting with other people. And my friend LeAnne also has a blog built entirely around interacting with other people in the arts. I just have a hard time finding the energy & time to make & keep those connections on top of my day job, and making writing a priority itself.
So if you visit and/or give me feedback, I appreciate it. I wish I could say I'll be better about responding and adding more links to my blog. Part of my problem is that I don't want to ask someone to exchange links unless I'm truly able to say I read their blog on a somewhat regular basis. There are a few blogs I do read, I just don't want to imply that I read & network more than I do.
There was recently an article in a writing magazine about a writer who succeeds as an introvert. I'm glad it's possible. I'm glad it worked for him. But the article didn't tell me "how" to make that work. I need some solid ways to work with my strengths in this area.
Anyone want to be a surrogate extrovert?

Out-sourcing

A fellow writer recently commented that it seems we spend too much of our time trying to overcome our weaknesses instead of playing to our strengths. I think that's true of people in general. We are uncomfortable with what we are not good at, so we work at getting better at it. To a certain extent, this is a good thing. But at what point is it better to invest our resources in the things we are equipped to excel at, and forfeit that self-improvement in favor of outsourcing?
For me, hiring someone to do my taxes is one of those out-sourcing opportunities. I may cringe at the thought of cleaning my house, but I cringe even more at the thought of someone else doing it. The time, effort, and emotional trauma of doing taxes, however, makes outsourcing the task a worthy investment.
Some tasks are a little harder to delegate. There are things I "can" do; they may not even be all that unpleasant. But are they a good investment of my time? It can be hard for me to ask for help, so I'm working on developing a set of criteria for determining what tasks I need to make a priority and which ones I can outsource. My hope is that having an objective measure of what I need to spend my time on will make asking for help a little easier.

The Colors, Man....

I'm about to get my place painted. I'm quite excited about this. I've recently had cause to do everything I can to improve my mood. I've always known that my mood is particularly affected by color so this change couldn't have come at a better time. Right now I'm surrounded by a bold yellow that I find stress inducing. Normally I don't notice this much. But lately I find myself retreating from the main living space to read or otherwise occupy myself in my bedroom, which is the only room I've had painted so far.
The bedroom is my favorite color, a periwinkle blue. This is, IMHO, an ideal, restful color for a bedroom. And get this, the color of the paint is called "Beautiful Dream." How cool is that for a bedroom? Soon the rest of my home will have colors that are equally as enjoyable.
So maybe this post falls into the "too much information" category. Or maybe you think it's just pointless information. But if your life lacks energy, or peace, or creativity, you might be able to add a dose of it through the colors you surround yourself with. It certainly couldn't hurt.

A Bloggie Birthday!

Today my blog is a year old. It's been quite a year. I think the blog essentially keeps to the theme I intended when I started it, although the focus has perhaps shifted a bit. Then again, I knew that would happen when I started.
I know of at least 2 other blogs celebrating birthdays/anniversaries in this first part of September. I wonder when most blogs are started, and I wonder why?
If there's anything you'd like to read more about in the next year, I'd love to hear from you.
Thanks for reading.

Labor Day

Everybody's doing something this weekend. Some people mark the end of summer with barbecues and parties. Others travel for one last long summer weekend away, or stay at home to try to complete all those home improvement tasks they never got around to over the summer. I will be in the last category this weekend.
Labor Day is one of the times of year that I check in with how I'm doing on my New Year's resolutions. As the seasons change I like to think about how my year has gone thus far, and what I can do to stay focused on my goals for the rest of the year. Sometimes I do this formally, with journaling, reading, and other reflective activities. This year I will spend most of my time mentally reviewing my year while I go about cleaning, organizing, and decluttering my condo.
Something about creating order in my environment helps me order my thoughts. Maybe that's why I like to have a certain amount of untidiness in my space. It's not enough for things to be clean, the benefit is in the act of cleaning itself. It'd be awful to need to clean something for the benefit of thinking through a problem and find myself with a home so tidy that nothing needed organizing.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

An Aged Top Ten

Some of you are going to think I have no reason to write a list of the top ten things that make me feel old. But I think that only proves my point. If I'm surprised that something makes me feel old, that just goes to show I am not yet old enough to be that old. That probably only made sense if you know me fairly well. Anyway, here's the top ten things that make me feel old.

1. Someone recently asked me what kind of anti-wrinkle cream I use. I don't. Maybe it was a compliment in that I don't really have wrinkles, but it still sounds fishy.
2. The discounted matinee price for movies is more than the full price was when I was a kid.
3. Getting ma'am-ed. Unless I'm visiting the South, or being addressed by someone under the age of ten, I am not at all prepared to be called ma'am.
4. The fact that I can no longer stay up late. Anything that requires coordination or cognitive functioning requires a full night's sleep.
5. I recently realized that anything that happened up to 15 years ago still happened in my adult lifetime.
6. My peers have children entering the 2nd grade.
7. I've moved up a category in the age bracket demographic.
8. Instead of getting trendy fashion catalogs, I've started getting catalogs for sensible shoes and clothes that specialize in "coverage and support."
9. My younger brother is going to be 29. Once he hits 30, I'm going to have to admit that I have too.
10. Music I grew up with is now being played on classic and oldies radio stations. I thought that was my parents' music that was supposed to be on those stations.

My Shelfari Bookshelf

Once again Cris has come to the rescue. Or is that, has come to lead me into temptation? She introduced me to Shelfari, which is a way to keep track of the books you've read, communicate with others about them, and of course, share this info on your blog. I'd been wanting to track all the books I read, but I didn't want to get expensive software to do it, and I'm too lazy to do it without some sort of tool to help me.
If you scroll down a bit, in my sidebar you will see an item called "My Bookshelf." Your computer may tell you that you need to download Flashplayer to see my shelf. Go ahead and do that. You should be able to see the books I'm currently reading. At present, this means the books I've read so far this year.
Earlier, I'd estimated that I read about 25 books in a year. Well, it's August and I'm up to 27, and just about to go get books 28 & 29 at the library. Granted, it's been an unusual year for me. I've been a bit of a compulsive reader. What's even more alarming is that over 2/3 of these books have something to do with someone dying. Seriously.
Anyone got any happy books?

Back to School

I'm not in school anymore, and I don't have kids of my own. Still, this is always a bittersweet time of year for me. My friends and I have all been talking about memories of school. The sights, the sounds, the smells. I love the feel and the smell of those little pink erasers, how perfect they looked before you had to use them for the first time. I love notebooks and filler paper. As sad as it is to say goodbye to summer, the school year is its own promising season filled with potential and possibilities.
My love for school supplies has grown up into a love for office supplies. I keep thinking that if I have enough three-ring binders and index cards, my life will somehow become organized. Of course, I know that's not the solution, but it sure is fun to play with the grown up version of my school supplies. Who knows, maybe I'll even dig around and see if I can find my box of 64 crayons.

Gratitude Top Ten

I almost made this top ten about things I feel like whining about today. I think that would have been easier. But I stopped myself and decided to make an effort to get out of my funk by trying to list 10 things I'm grateful for today.

1. Air conditioning
2. Chocolate
3. That 5PM arrived, eventually
4. The Muppet Show, Season 2 DVD (it's four discs, but I think skipping ahead to the 8th slot would be cheating)
5. Books
6. Bubble baths
7. Impromptu work field trips
8. Empathy
9. Nail polish
10. Thunderstorms

Good Eats in Chicago

I'm finally getting around to responding to Cris' last tag. I think she knows I've been having trouble coming up with things to write and time in which to write them. I'm being a rule breaker here because I just haven't done the networking to know other people to tag.
Anyway, for the record, I live in the Chicago suburbs (IL, in the good old USA). There, I've at least followed a few of the rules.

1. So as not to disappoint Cris or anyone else, my favorite resturant is Giordano's Pizzeria. Our local joint recently redecorated to fit the chain brand more closely. They were closed for some time and let me tell you, it wasn't pleasant. I'm not sure if I like the outcome either. Our old one was more unique, less contemporary. The stuffed pizza is what they are famous for, but I also love their thin crust. It's not too thin, which I find important. Cold Giordano's thin crust pizza is the best. People have asked me what is so fabulous about it. All I can say is, come to Chicago & I'll take you out for pizza.
2. Not to be all about junk food, but we have this great hot dog place that I grew up on. Gene & Jude's has the best hot dogs ever. They are literally just a hot dog stand that has been, well, standing since my dad grew up in this area. I'll take you here too, but you have to promise not to ask for ketchup. Gene & Jude's does not serve ketchup with their hot dogs.
3. I've only been to Reza's in the city a few times, but I love it. They have wonderful Middle Eastern/Mediteranean food. I could eat their hummus all day long.
4. I've come to the conclusion that at pizza places, the other food options aren't usually that great. And at your basic Italian place, if the general fare is good the pizza might not be all that great. I think this is the case with Leona's, one of my family's favorite Italian places. Wonderful pasta, yummy salmon, and great homemade bread. One of the trademarks of Leona's is that the staff is a little, ummm, rude. They are fairly direct & kind of crass. You still get good service & the lack of formalities & abundance of attitude makes it seem that much more like home.
5. If you want real rudeness, you need to go to Ed Debevic's. These guys are world class rude. The 50's diner style is entertaining, as are the waitstaff dance performances which often occur on the tables. Their burgers are pretty famous too.

Top 10 Relaxing Activities

Cris went & tagged me again, but she's going to have to wait because it's Tuesday, and that means another Top Ten list.
I'm feeling a little stressed today, so my Top Ten list is of things that I intend to do over the next few days to help me relax. Some of these things might seem like you hear about them all the time. But the question is when is the last time you actually did more than one of them, intentionally, in a week?

• Read. I recently picked up Girl Meets God & I'm enjoying it quite a bit.
• Take a bubble bath. Probably more than one.
• Make a book. I made one the other night in an hour. I self imposed the deadline and it worked. If you have a creative project you've been hedging around at, allow yourself the ability to just rush through it. Then go back & clean it up if you want or need to.
• Do something spiritual. For me, this means something not already in my routine. I'm not usually a midweek worship service attendee, but I'm going to go tomorrow night.
• Breathe. Yes, we all do that. Doing it intentionally is different though. Try deep breathing while meditating on the creation of man & the word inspire. Seriously.
• Get or give yourself a manicure. This is my beauty pampering ritual of choice because as a writer I like making my hands feel good. I also get the most compliments on my hands, so there's that added bonus.
• Write something. Do you know how often I find myself getting kinda crabby & then realize it's been a while since I journaled?
• Sleep. Need I say more?
• Add something healthy to my life. When I'm stressed, I work on adding something like exercise, more water, or some more healthy food to my diet. Even just changing one thing can make a big improvement in my immune system & energy level.
• Something yummy, preferably chocolate. OK, most of the stuff on this list is good or neutral as far as health. But a little comfort food isn't such a bad thing.

A Few Questions

Crystal tagged me a few days ago and I'm just now getting around to answering her questions. Since she's already tagged the other bloggers I know, I don't have anyone else to tag. Sigh. I'm not very good at this sort of thing.


1. What's the one book or writing project you haven't yet written but still hope to?

I’m not much of a fiction writer, so I’d have to say that the one project I want to write is the nonfiction equivalent to The Great American Novel. In my mind, this book is impossibly wide in scope, and equally overwhelming in its depth. I’m not there yet, I’m still collecting ingredients. What I know so far is that it’s part memoir, both inspirational and instructional, has a lot to do with creativity and relationships, and would speak about faith in a way that would attract both believers and nonbelievers.
Of course, this is all subject to change and various forms of reality checks as time progresses.

2. If you had one entire day in which to do nothing but read, what book would you start with?

If you’d asked me this question a couple weeks ago, the answer would have been Harry Potter. Actually, Crystal did ask this question a couple weeks ago, and one of the reasons it took me so long to respond was that I was busy reading Harry Potter.
Now that I’m done with that, and I’ve had a few days to recover (hey, I like to read, but 750+ pages in two days is a lot), I’m mulling over my next options. I’m a very mood dependent reader, but once I start reading a book I’m usually compelled to finish it. So I have to be careful about what books I choose to read and when. If I’m not careful I can end up reading too many depressing books in a row and that’s just not good.
Anything by Tolkien is probably a safe bet. Right now I’m wanting to get my hands on The Children of Hurin. In fact, I think I have a Border’s coupon that expires soon. Now I have to go to Borders and it’s all Crystal’s fault.

3. What was your first writing "instrument" (besides pen and paper)?

Does crayon count?
I don’t remember the name of the brand, but it was a word processor. When I entered college, computers were still too expensive for me to invest in my own. So we went a step above typewriter and got a word processor. The thing used floppy disks of a unique size so you could not transfer files from the word processor to a PC. And it required a complex set of maneuvers to save a document. My roommate found out that these maneuvers seem even more complex at 3AM. That was not fun.

4. What's your best guess as to how many books you read in a month?

Hmmm, good question. I’ve been wanting to keep better track, but I just haven’t gotten around to that. I’d say I read probably a couple books a month. Some months I just read one book. Some months I might read 3-4. I’ve been wanting to try this software that catalogs all the books you read, but that seems rather frivolous at the moment. I think I’d use it, but who knows?

5. What's your most favorite writing "machine" you've ever owned?

I use my PC most often. I like MS Office 2003. I use Publisher for some things, and I like the way Word, Powerpoint, and Publisher work together. But my favorite writing machine is my AlphaSmart. I’ve always liked to journal when I’m away from home. However, some writing is better done, accessed, if you will, through typing. There’s nothing better than being able to sit outside and type on my AlphaSmart, then come in and easily transfer the file to my computer.

6. Think historical fiction: what's your favorite time period in which to read? (And if you don't read historical fiction--shame on you.)

I’d have to say pioneer/turn of the century stuff. It’s a nostalgia thing not only for the time period itself, but for the books I read as a kid. Who wasn’t inspired by Laura Ingalls Wilder?

7. What's the one book you remember most clearly from your youth (childhood or teens)?

Definitely The Hobbit. This was the book that made me want to be a writer. What more can I say?