Labor Day

Everybody's doing something this weekend. Some people mark the end of summer with barbecues and parties. Others travel for one last long summer weekend away, or stay at home to try to complete all those home improvement tasks they never got around to over the summer. I will be in the last category this weekend.
Labor Day is one of the times of year that I check in with how I'm doing on my New Year's resolutions. As the seasons change I like to think about how my year has gone thus far, and what I can do to stay focused on my goals for the rest of the year. Sometimes I do this formally, with journaling, reading, and other reflective activities. This year I will spend most of my time mentally reviewing my year while I go about cleaning, organizing, and decluttering my condo.
Something about creating order in my environment helps me order my thoughts. Maybe that's why I like to have a certain amount of untidiness in my space. It's not enough for things to be clean, the benefit is in the act of cleaning itself. It'd be awful to need to clean something for the benefit of thinking through a problem and find myself with a home so tidy that nothing needed organizing.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

An Aged Top Ten

Some of you are going to think I have no reason to write a list of the top ten things that make me feel old. But I think that only proves my point. If I'm surprised that something makes me feel old, that just goes to show I am not yet old enough to be that old. That probably only made sense if you know me fairly well. Anyway, here's the top ten things that make me feel old.

1. Someone recently asked me what kind of anti-wrinkle cream I use. I don't. Maybe it was a compliment in that I don't really have wrinkles, but it still sounds fishy.
2. The discounted matinee price for movies is more than the full price was when I was a kid.
3. Getting ma'am-ed. Unless I'm visiting the South, or being addressed by someone under the age of ten, I am not at all prepared to be called ma'am.
4. The fact that I can no longer stay up late. Anything that requires coordination or cognitive functioning requires a full night's sleep.
5. I recently realized that anything that happened up to 15 years ago still happened in my adult lifetime.
6. My peers have children entering the 2nd grade.
7. I've moved up a category in the age bracket demographic.
8. Instead of getting trendy fashion catalogs, I've started getting catalogs for sensible shoes and clothes that specialize in "coverage and support."
9. My younger brother is going to be 29. Once he hits 30, I'm going to have to admit that I have too.
10. Music I grew up with is now being played on classic and oldies radio stations. I thought that was my parents' music that was supposed to be on those stations.

My Shelfari Bookshelf

Once again Cris has come to the rescue. Or is that, has come to lead me into temptation? She introduced me to Shelfari, which is a way to keep track of the books you've read, communicate with others about them, and of course, share this info on your blog. I'd been wanting to track all the books I read, but I didn't want to get expensive software to do it, and I'm too lazy to do it without some sort of tool to help me.
If you scroll down a bit, in my sidebar you will see an item called "My Bookshelf." Your computer may tell you that you need to download Flashplayer to see my shelf. Go ahead and do that. You should be able to see the books I'm currently reading. At present, this means the books I've read so far this year.
Earlier, I'd estimated that I read about 25 books in a year. Well, it's August and I'm up to 27, and just about to go get books 28 & 29 at the library. Granted, it's been an unusual year for me. I've been a bit of a compulsive reader. What's even more alarming is that over 2/3 of these books have something to do with someone dying. Seriously.
Anyone got any happy books?

Back to School

I'm not in school anymore, and I don't have kids of my own. Still, this is always a bittersweet time of year for me. My friends and I have all been talking about memories of school. The sights, the sounds, the smells. I love the feel and the smell of those little pink erasers, how perfect they looked before you had to use them for the first time. I love notebooks and filler paper. As sad as it is to say goodbye to summer, the school year is its own promising season filled with potential and possibilities.
My love for school supplies has grown up into a love for office supplies. I keep thinking that if I have enough three-ring binders and index cards, my life will somehow become organized. Of course, I know that's not the solution, but it sure is fun to play with the grown up version of my school supplies. Who knows, maybe I'll even dig around and see if I can find my box of 64 crayons.

Gratitude Top Ten

I almost made this top ten about things I feel like whining about today. I think that would have been easier. But I stopped myself and decided to make an effort to get out of my funk by trying to list 10 things I'm grateful for today.

1. Air conditioning
2. Chocolate
3. That 5PM arrived, eventually
4. The Muppet Show, Season 2 DVD (it's four discs, but I think skipping ahead to the 8th slot would be cheating)
5. Books
6. Bubble baths
7. Impromptu work field trips
8. Empathy
9. Nail polish
10. Thunderstorms

Good Eats in Chicago

I'm finally getting around to responding to Cris' last tag. I think she knows I've been having trouble coming up with things to write and time in which to write them. I'm being a rule breaker here because I just haven't done the networking to know other people to tag.
Anyway, for the record, I live in the Chicago suburbs (IL, in the good old USA). There, I've at least followed a few of the rules.

1. So as not to disappoint Cris or anyone else, my favorite resturant is Giordano's Pizzeria. Our local joint recently redecorated to fit the chain brand more closely. They were closed for some time and let me tell you, it wasn't pleasant. I'm not sure if I like the outcome either. Our old one was more unique, less contemporary. The stuffed pizza is what they are famous for, but I also love their thin crust. It's not too thin, which I find important. Cold Giordano's thin crust pizza is the best. People have asked me what is so fabulous about it. All I can say is, come to Chicago & I'll take you out for pizza.
2. Not to be all about junk food, but we have this great hot dog place that I grew up on. Gene & Jude's has the best hot dogs ever. They are literally just a hot dog stand that has been, well, standing since my dad grew up in this area. I'll take you here too, but you have to promise not to ask for ketchup. Gene & Jude's does not serve ketchup with their hot dogs.
3. I've only been to Reza's in the city a few times, but I love it. They have wonderful Middle Eastern/Mediteranean food. I could eat their hummus all day long.
4. I've come to the conclusion that at pizza places, the other food options aren't usually that great. And at your basic Italian place, if the general fare is good the pizza might not be all that great. I think this is the case with Leona's, one of my family's favorite Italian places. Wonderful pasta, yummy salmon, and great homemade bread. One of the trademarks of Leona's is that the staff is a little, ummm, rude. They are fairly direct & kind of crass. You still get good service & the lack of formalities & abundance of attitude makes it seem that much more like home.
5. If you want real rudeness, you need to go to Ed Debevic's. These guys are world class rude. The 50's diner style is entertaining, as are the waitstaff dance performances which often occur on the tables. Their burgers are pretty famous too.

Top 10 Relaxing Activities

Cris went & tagged me again, but she's going to have to wait because it's Tuesday, and that means another Top Ten list.
I'm feeling a little stressed today, so my Top Ten list is of things that I intend to do over the next few days to help me relax. Some of these things might seem like you hear about them all the time. But the question is when is the last time you actually did more than one of them, intentionally, in a week?

• Read. I recently picked up Girl Meets God & I'm enjoying it quite a bit.
• Take a bubble bath. Probably more than one.
• Make a book. I made one the other night in an hour. I self imposed the deadline and it worked. If you have a creative project you've been hedging around at, allow yourself the ability to just rush through it. Then go back & clean it up if you want or need to.
• Do something spiritual. For me, this means something not already in my routine. I'm not usually a midweek worship service attendee, but I'm going to go tomorrow night.
• Breathe. Yes, we all do that. Doing it intentionally is different though. Try deep breathing while meditating on the creation of man & the word inspire. Seriously.
• Get or give yourself a manicure. This is my beauty pampering ritual of choice because as a writer I like making my hands feel good. I also get the most compliments on my hands, so there's that added bonus.
• Write something. Do you know how often I find myself getting kinda crabby & then realize it's been a while since I journaled?
• Sleep. Need I say more?
• Add something healthy to my life. When I'm stressed, I work on adding something like exercise, more water, or some more healthy food to my diet. Even just changing one thing can make a big improvement in my immune system & energy level.
• Something yummy, preferably chocolate. OK, most of the stuff on this list is good or neutral as far as health. But a little comfort food isn't such a bad thing.

A Few Questions

Crystal tagged me a few days ago and I'm just now getting around to answering her questions. Since she's already tagged the other bloggers I know, I don't have anyone else to tag. Sigh. I'm not very good at this sort of thing.


1. What's the one book or writing project you haven't yet written but still hope to?

I’m not much of a fiction writer, so I’d have to say that the one project I want to write is the nonfiction equivalent to The Great American Novel. In my mind, this book is impossibly wide in scope, and equally overwhelming in its depth. I’m not there yet, I’m still collecting ingredients. What I know so far is that it’s part memoir, both inspirational and instructional, has a lot to do with creativity and relationships, and would speak about faith in a way that would attract both believers and nonbelievers.
Of course, this is all subject to change and various forms of reality checks as time progresses.

2. If you had one entire day in which to do nothing but read, what book would you start with?

If you’d asked me this question a couple weeks ago, the answer would have been Harry Potter. Actually, Crystal did ask this question a couple weeks ago, and one of the reasons it took me so long to respond was that I was busy reading Harry Potter.
Now that I’m done with that, and I’ve had a few days to recover (hey, I like to read, but 750+ pages in two days is a lot), I’m mulling over my next options. I’m a very mood dependent reader, but once I start reading a book I’m usually compelled to finish it. So I have to be careful about what books I choose to read and when. If I’m not careful I can end up reading too many depressing books in a row and that’s just not good.
Anything by Tolkien is probably a safe bet. Right now I’m wanting to get my hands on The Children of Hurin. In fact, I think I have a Border’s coupon that expires soon. Now I have to go to Borders and it’s all Crystal’s fault.

3. What was your first writing "instrument" (besides pen and paper)?

Does crayon count?
I don’t remember the name of the brand, but it was a word processor. When I entered college, computers were still too expensive for me to invest in my own. So we went a step above typewriter and got a word processor. The thing used floppy disks of a unique size so you could not transfer files from the word processor to a PC. And it required a complex set of maneuvers to save a document. My roommate found out that these maneuvers seem even more complex at 3AM. That was not fun.

4. What's your best guess as to how many books you read in a month?

Hmmm, good question. I’ve been wanting to keep better track, but I just haven’t gotten around to that. I’d say I read probably a couple books a month. Some months I just read one book. Some months I might read 3-4. I’ve been wanting to try this software that catalogs all the books you read, but that seems rather frivolous at the moment. I think I’d use it, but who knows?

5. What's your most favorite writing "machine" you've ever owned?

I use my PC most often. I like MS Office 2003. I use Publisher for some things, and I like the way Word, Powerpoint, and Publisher work together. But my favorite writing machine is my AlphaSmart. I’ve always liked to journal when I’m away from home. However, some writing is better done, accessed, if you will, through typing. There’s nothing better than being able to sit outside and type on my AlphaSmart, then come in and easily transfer the file to my computer.

6. Think historical fiction: what's your favorite time period in which to read? (And if you don't read historical fiction--shame on you.)

I’d have to say pioneer/turn of the century stuff. It’s a nostalgia thing not only for the time period itself, but for the books I read as a kid. Who wasn’t inspired by Laura Ingalls Wilder?

7. What's the one book you remember most clearly from your youth (childhood or teens)?

Definitely The Hobbit. This was the book that made me want to be a writer. What more can I say?

Money Management

You'd think with a single income, money management would be a big challenge for me. Sometimes things are a little tighter than I'd like, but often it's a simple matter of math. When I'm done with my expenses for the month the money is gone, so there's not really anything left over to worry about budgeting.
This is the reason I have rules about windfalls. The first rule of windfalls is that a big chunk of it has to go into savings. That way, when a minor disaster occurs, I've got some funds available. Then I put the rest towards a project of appropriate size. These are the kinds of projects that sit around on a waiting list until I have the money.
Using this method, I feel I have the best of both worlds. I have some money in savings, that's untouchable unless something in my home or my body needs repairs. But I also get to do something tangible that holds off the feelings of deprivation for a while.
However, I think I'm going to try something different. I have a little bit of money waiting for me to decide what to do with it. I've already put some of it into savings. Truthfully, this is not the kind of money that would allow me to do something substantial like make over a room in the house. So rather than spending it all at once, I think it might be fun to see how long I can make it last. It's kind of nice to have a few extra bucks for little things that come up each week. Instead of picking one big project to spend it on, I'm going to enjoy getting a number of the "little things" on my list week after week. I wonder if I can make this last until the next windfall.

At Last, A Top Ten

I've been sick for quite a while and unable to post. As I told my friends, I hate it when I get a game plan together and then I get sidelined. One of my last posts was on books for writers. Here's a list of tools for writers that I find useful. These are especially helpful when I need to arm myself to get back into the game.

• My Alphasmart. I love that it's a no-frills portable word processor. No danger of Freecell or web surfing. I can type anywhere.
• While I try to avoid excess surfing, I can't do without my favorite writing groups, blogs, and sites. Maybe they'll be featured in a future top ten.
• Gel pens or fountain pens. I love these for journaling and brainstorming.
• Write Again software. It's a great all in one organizing, tracking, and planning program.
• Notebooks. My new favorites are the smaller size from CVS. They've got great plastic covers, but they aren't too expensive.
• My ipod. Sometimes I write with music, sometimes not. But I often use my ipod to at least mask noise in my immediate surroundings.
• The basics: my PC, my desk. I love being able to customize my environment to stimulate creativity.
• I know I mentioned e-sword before, but I'm mentioning them again. They have bibles and so many bible study tools.
• A handful of tools from Levenger. Required? No. Fun? Yes. They make these notepads shaped to fit in front of my monitor. No more saving emails forever because I never write down the info.
• Chocolate. It's good for celebration, consolation, encouragement, reward. It's an incredibly versatile tool.

Not Much To Say

I don't have much to say today. I've been doing a lot of cleaning and organizing over the last few days. I love doing this sort of thing when there's something on my mind. Putting order in my physical surroundings helps me put my thoughts together.
Another thing that helps is working on puzzles. Often by the time I've solved the puzzle, I've come up with a solution to my dilemma.
Sometimes talking helps, but sometimes it's not easy to put thoughts into words. Even journaling can be difficult at those times. It's not that the problem itself is complicated, it's that it needs to percolate a little before you can express it in words. That's when I find book art helpful. Playing with images and structures helps give form to whatever thoughts you are trying to work through.
This can even be used as a transitional means to writing an article or book. If you're struggling with writers' block, go back to the "pre-writing" techniques of creating a book. Often what we need to express comes out in colors, patterns, and symbols before we can put it to words.

What Will Heaven Be Like?

Several posts ago I facetiously said I hope we'll be able to read all the books in our "to be read" piles once we get to heaven. I also implied that whatever heaven will be like, I don't think cherries will be there. At least not in my little corner of the kingdom.
The point I was trying to make is that our finite little brains can't begin to conceptualize how wonderful heaven will be. Except...
There's this song that Geoff Moore recently covered called "When I Get Where I'm Going." It's about what things will be like when we get to heaven. I must confess I have not always liked this song. I thought of it as just another rather "fluffy" image of eternal life.
On closer listening, I heard the line "I will leave my heart wide open. I will love and have no fear."
Even the best relationships here on earth are imperfect. We disappoint each other. We get rejected. We disagree. Imagine what it would be like to not be afraid to love and be loved. Never having to wonder if someone thinks you're not good enough. Never feeling ignored or let down. Never having to wonder if your opinion will be accepted. Never being afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Imagine knowing it's always safe to interrupt, always safe to ask, and safe to love because you know the risk that you won't be loved in return simply doesn't exist.
Sounds heavenly, doesn't it?

Current Read: Man's Search for Meaning, Victor Frankel
Current Music: Happy, Matthew West

Top 10 Books for Writers

These are the books I think you simply must have if you plan on writing, particularly in the Christian market. These books are all useful no matter what kind of writing you do, fiction or nonfiction, and any audience you might write for.

1. A dictionary- Preferably a good hardbound one your aunt got you for 8th grade graduation, the kind where she wrote affirming things about you & your love of words on the inside cover.
2. A thesaurus- Preferably a good hardbound one your brother got you because he's supportive, even if he doesn't write nice things on the inside cover.
3. The Elements of Style, Strunk & White- You need this book. It's the grammar book. Just go get it.
4. The Christian Writer's Market Guide, compiled by Sally Stuart- You can write all you want, but if you wanna know who's gonna buy your stuff, you need this book.
5. Bibles- It's good to have lots of these. I like comparing translations and study notes in different versions, as well as the extra features like maps & concordances. Take a look at e-sword.net.
6. Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller- Not strictly a book on writing, but if you are going to write for the Christian market, you are going need to read the opening paragraph of the chapter "Money: Thoughts on Paying Rent." You're probably going to want to read it several times.
7. You Can Market Your Book, Carmen Leal- Let's face it, we want to not only write books, we want to sell them. Carmen has lots of great ideas for how to do that.
8. Writing From the Inside Out, Dennis Palumbo- This book covers so many of the internal and external obstacles for writing. Don't read it unless you are ready to part with the reasons you can't write.
9. Walking On Water, Madeline L'Engle- I love this book. Pure creative, spiritual inspiration. This book really fills that creative well back up.
10. An Introduction to Christian Writing, Ethel Herr- Just what it says. This book is a nice introduction to the basic protocols for the process of writing. There's some great tools to help you get organized in this book.

Dependence

My coworkers and I recently had the luxury of spending some surplus funds on reference books for our mental health agency. One of the books was on the subject of co-dependence. I couldn't help but note the contrast between our perception of co-dependence as a negative state of being and the celebration of independence that we celebrate not only as individuals, but on a national level as well.
One of my colleagues observed that we've come to cherish independence so much that we've developed intolerance of dependence in any form. Thus, if people care for each other, especially if they make sacrifices to provide that care, we label the relationship codependent.
Certainly, destructive co-dependence can and does exist. But I wonder if we've become so protective of our own rights and abilities that we forget that we're made to depend on each other. Not co-dependence. Not independence. Interdependence. Maybe we should celebrate Interdependence Day.

Identity

Have you ever woken up and discovered you had no idea who you were? More to the point, maybe you know who you were, but you have no idea who you are?
Sometimes we change so slowly that we don't even realize it's happened until we reflect on what life was like 4 years ago, before the Master's degree. Or that a mere 13 months ago, I'd never owned a home before.
Other times, change happens so fast, you freeze up, holding your breath while you try to catch up with what just happened. Like when I needed to take some time away from people to take care of myself after some difficult experiences. The part of my brain that could connect meaningfully with other people was closed for repairs. Until 11:30 AM on May 30th. I was in the middle of a conversation and I couldn't figure out why I felt like crying. Finally, I caught up with the idea that I was emotionally connecting and responding to what the person was telling me. Being reintroduced to the experience of relationships that suddenly can catch one off guard a bit.
Life is disorienting sometimes. We prepare ourselves for what we think will be an emotional experience, and find we didn't react at all like we expected. Then we get overwhelmed when we least expect it. We do things we never thought we'd be able to do, only to then find we can't do things we always thought we could or should.
Weird.

Top 10 Writing Tricks

Over the weekend I found myself writing. Nothing spectacular, some stuff for church, which led to some updating of promotional material, which led to even more writing. Who knew?
That very question is of some concern. Since I don't know what sparked this sudden interest in writing, I'm not terribly confident in my ability to recreate it. So here's my top ten techniques for writing consistently.

1. Tell someone what I'm going to write & when. There's no substitute for accountability.
2. Set a time related goal. Write for 20 minutes, 3 hours, whatever. Just write for a set length of time.
3. Set a quantitative goal. Three pages, or 1,000 words. Set a number and write until you hit it, even if you write garbage.
4. Get jealous. Not usually a good thing, but if a little of the green-eyed monster inspires some good-natured competition, maybe it's not so bad.
5. For me, it helps to take off my shoes at night. Since my mobility is limited this removes the temptation to get up and put laundry away, etc. Of course, there's still Freecell.
6. Create rewards. We all know this one. But it's true that reward works better than punishment. Try encouraging yourself to write instead of beating yourself up about it.
7. Go someplace else. I love my Alphasmart. With my Alphasmart & my journal, I can go anywhere and just write.
8. Turn off your internal editor. This is a big roadblock for me. My editor is very critical these days. For some reason having stuff like cooking and home & garden shows on helps shut the editor up. I think the background noise distracts him without anything exciting like plot to distract me.
9. Or turn off the TV. Get rid of all distractions. I've found that a day or weekend retreat of sorts can jump start my writing productivity.
10. Try reverse psychology. Tell yourself you are not allowed to write until you clean out the closet or garage.

Good Things

It's been one year today since I bought my condo. I haven't starved or foreclosed yet, so I must be doing something right.
Last night I watched a public television special about Sesame Street. The documentary chronicled the birth of the series in Bangladesh. I found it quite moving to see how they re-conceptualize the show to address the cultural needs of each country they hope to broadcast in. It's comforting to know that Sesame Street is still around.
I treated myself to a few art supplies yesterday. I still cringe a little at spending money on something I'm not very good at, but I'm working on it. With any luck, I'll soon be able to post a photo of my latest handmade book.
The weather here is fabulous. Free air conditioning, anyone?

Current Read: Care of the Soul, Thomas Moore
Current Music: River of Dreams, Billy Joel

More About Time

On Tuesday, I mentioned that summer is half over. How is this even possible? And how is it possible that I've hardly done anything I wanted to do this summer? I did have a much needed vacation, but that's about it.
Time seems to escape me these days. Some things take a lot of time. Some things (like slow computers) waste a lot of time. I once heard that we make the time for the things that are important to us. I think I think that's true. But I also think I spend time doing some things because they are easy to cross off my list, and they are a convenient way to avoid doing the more difficult, time consuming, and important things on the list.
What's up with that?
I think people draw a lot of conclusions about us by observing the way we spend our time. I wonder what I would think about what conclusions people make about me.

Top Ten Tuesday

I struggled with what to write about for today's top 10. I have a lot to do this week, and all that "stuff" was blocking me from coming up with a creative idea for my top 10 list. So, guess what y'all get? A top 10 list of the stuff on my to do list. Perhaps not the most inspiring thing ever. But maybe one of you has some ideas that could help me get some of this stuff accomplished.

1. Come up with some written material and projects for our church's spiritual gifts program.
2. Restructure my whole program at work to meet the new state guidelines and increase our funding.
3. Create about 5 handmade books, some as therapy, some as gifts.
4. Prioritize and implement the home improvement projects I need to get to this summer, (which is nearly half over- yikes!).
5. Laundry
6. Figure out a way to get back into freelance writing. Seriously.
7. Read the 13 books I got for 15 bucks at the library sale. Hey, something fun has to make it on the list.
8. Clean up this house. Any volunteers?
9. Develop some speaking topics and materials.
10. Decide if & how I can maintain the other commitments I have that aren't on this list because they didn't make the top 10 cut.

Sharing

Sometimes we think of sharing as something that will divide and diminish the object or experience we are sharing. But some things just aren't any fun unless they are shared. As I previously mentioned, I have started watching movies on a regular basis. Since I live alone, this is generally a solitary experience. I don't mind this at all. I get to decide what I want to watch, when I want to watch it.
But some movies need to be shared to be fully experienced. I took my mom to see Evan Almighty this weekend. Nice movie, great themes I completely support seeing on the big screen, maybe not quite as funny as Bruce Almighty. Even though it was a good movie, I would not have spent the time & money to go see it were it not for the fact that I knew Mom would enjoy watching it as well.
Relationships are like that, I might not particularly like something, but I like that you like it. And that makes the experience worthwhile. Mom & I both happened to like this movie, but there have been plenty of times I have seen movies with my brother that I wasn't really fond of, but I did appreciate that he enjoyed the experience. He might even tell you the same thing is true for him.

Current Read: The Old Man and The Sea, Ernest Hemingway
Current Music: Lord of the Rings Soundtrack