Self Care

The topic of self care has come up a lot this week. Of course, when I hear the same theme pop up in various contexts, I start to pay attention. I guess that's a good thing because I've been having a bit of trouble in this area this week. Come to think of it, my usual rule is to pay attention when I hear something three times, and I've heard about self care at least three times three times this week!

Suggestions for managing stress have ranged from jumping off a building, to ignoring the stressors, to making an artist date for refilling the creative well. While I think I'll skip the first idea, I have come to the conclusion that intentionality is key in self care, no matter what route you take. It used to be that I could just unwind by vegging in front of the TV or putzing around at anything in general. It's not that easy anymore. When did relaxing start to be so much work?

Part of the problem is that I can't take much vacation these days, and as of late my time off is not as sacred to others as it is to me.

So on the one hand, intentionality takes more effort, especially since I really want my down time to be quality time. On the other hand, I've learned that intentionality can turn a lot of every day things into acts of self care. It's not that much more effort to take a bath than it is to take a shower, and catching up on emails is not so much a chore as it is a chance to communicate with friends. As I was telling some friends the other day, "We all have dinner pretty much every day. It's the candles and flowers that help turn it into a date."

If all that fails to work, buy books. Lots and lots of books.

Thirteen Goals

I decided to start posting my Thursday Thirteens on Wednesdays because I post in the evenings and by the time I get to it on Thursday, many people have already made the rounds. I could get up & do it before work on Thursdays, but knowing me that ain't likely to happen.
Anyway, I haven't finished my list of 100 goals, but I thought I'd share 13 of the goals I have on my list. These are goals I want to achieve and haven't yet accomplished. Maybe in a future 13, I'll write about 13 things I've already accomplished.

1. publish a book
2. publish academically
3. visit the Holy Lands
4. learn to play the harp
5. learn sign language
6. ride in a hot air balloon
7. see the eagles at Starved Rock
8. visit all 50 states
9. sell my handmade books
10. fly 1st class
11. learn to play Heart & Soul on the piano
12. write a column
13. learn to draw

What's Your Instrument?

A while ago, I posted a blog on What's Your Art? I'm too lazy to link it, but you can search it from my sidebar if you like.
Anyway, I'm currently reading this book on creativity and spirituality. At one point the book talks about being an instrument for your art. Singers consider their voices an instrument, and sculptors treat their hands like instruments. Carrying the metaphor further, the author of the book asks us to consider what kind of instruments we would be in a musical performance. If your art had a musical sound to it, what would it be?
Now, you are just going to have to take my word for this, but in the last couple of years, I've wanted to learn to play the harp. Yes, that obscure, expensive, not-very-portable instrument that few people play and even fewer teach. What would I do with a harp? Where would I put it? I don't know. I just want to learn to play the harp. So when the book asked these questions, I started thinking about what playing the harp says about my other creative endeavors. I don't have many answers yet, but inspired by Wendy's research on periwinkle, I did some searching of my own and came up with this. Honest and for real.

You Should Play the Harp

You are a sensitive soul, with a great admiration for beauty. You definitely have what it takes to make beautiful music, but most instruments are too harsh for you. You are subtle, shy, and even a bit spoiled. You're very picky about most aspects of your life. It's just your style to play an eccentric, hard to transport instrument like the harp that few people consider. Overall, you have the relaxed demeanor of a leisurely upper class person, and your music would reflect that. Your calm yet soulful harp playing would be sure to help people forget their troubles for a while. Your dominant personality characteristic: your zen-ness Your secondary personality characteristic: your quiet independence

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

A History of Color

This weekend I asked some friends for help on a writing project. My task was to explore the idea of my favorite color for myself and my art. As I recently mentioned, periwinkle is my favorite color and it has been ever since I can remember. But I was at a loss for how to describe the color or why I like it.
My friend Wendy did a little research. According to the Wiki on periwinkle (there's a Wiki on periwinkle?), it is a desaturated color. Wendy says that means it's subtle and nuanced.
Crayola says periwinkle is #7 on their list of favorite colors. Personality traits associated with periwinkle blue are serenity, purity, and infinity. (Infinitely what?) In China, periwinkle blue is symbolic of immortality. (Oh.) Philosophy graduates' tassels are this color because it represents deliberation, introspection, and conservatism.
Blue, particularly periwinkle blue, rarely occurs in nature. It does occur in two of my favorite things, certain varieties of lilacs, and certain varieties of twilight sky. Honeybees are known to prefer flowers with blue hues.
There is a site for The Periwinkle Foundation, which is dedicated to helping children with cancer. They explain that the flower that shares the name and color periwinkle contains components used to fight cancer.
I've always loved color, and I know certain colors are symbolic of certain meanings. Red can mean anger or passion, purple is used to indicate royalty. That sort of thing. I had no idea this history and meaning behind a color could be so rich, and personal. Seriously, if you know me, this is a little creepy.

Reading Level

I have a lot of writing to do this weekend. A lot. I intended to get organized and think about how I want to approach my work this weekend. What began as planning has led me to this lovely little diversion. I'm amused by the outcome and I'm not 100% sure why. I have to get back to (umm, get started with) work now.

13 Things for Making Books

This week I've decided to compile a list of things I consider essential to the art of making books. In part, I'm doing this because I want to create a travel kit for book art. I also want to have the items that are most important put together for when ever I want to work on them. Right now these items are scattered in various places throughout my condo.

1. Books by Alisa Golden. These books offer tons of ideas for creating handmade books. I like Alisa's style and the instructions & diagrams in these books are easier for me to follow than in many other books I've investigated.
2. Paper. While it is possible to make books without paper, I find paper to be a pretty important part of the process. You can go with really fancy stuff from specialty stores, or you can use what you have on hand. Some really great books can be made with copy paper, or resume paper, or even lunch bags.
3. Book board. if you want your book to be archival quality, you are going to need real, acid free book board. For small books or mock ups you can also use regular cardboard; the results just won't be as long lasting.
4. Adhesive. It's also important that this be acid free if you want your project to last. PVA is a great choice; white glue is a form of PVA that is cheaper, but not acid free. You can get acid free glue stick that is useful for some projects. Many people also like to use gel medium as an adhesive.
5. Scissors. Some people prefer working with a craft knife. For most applications I like scissors better.
6. The decorative stuff. This will vary according to your style. For me, must haves include tissue paper, and a source of found words like an old book, bible, or dictionary. I also have an ever growing collection of paper odds and ends to collage with.
7. Your favorite artist's media. I love working with chalk. Other art supplies like my paints can go into a secondary storage space. My chalks stay out on my work table.
8. Needle and thread. For sewn bindings you will want to use waxed linen thread, which comes in a variety of colors.
9. A ruler. Accurate measurements are really important, and it's nice to have a straightedge to work with.
10. Wax paper or old magazines. It's important to have layers of scrap paper on your work surface when gluing so you don't get glue on the parts of your project where you don't want it.
11. A weight, press, or heavy book. Pressing your book while the glue dries helps keep everything from warping and wrinkling.
12. Writing utensils. It's nice to have a couple of different kinds. I like both markers and colored pencils.
13. Chocolate. You always need chocolate.

FYI

About a year ago, I posted a Tuesday Top Ten of the current most played songs on my ipod. My hope was that in a few months, that would change. The bottom two songs on the list have been replaced by U2's Grace, and The Edge of Water by Jars of Clay. Otherwise the list remains entirely unchanged. This is probably not a good thing.
I made some changes to the playlist on my blog. Thanks to the addition of some Veggietales music, it's a little lighter than it was before. And I fixed it so it doesn't automatically play when someone logs into the blog.
I've also joined a meme with Christian Women Online. So look for my Thursday Thirteens on a range of topics. And please suggest some topics if you have any ideas.
Since I have Shelfari, I've stopped listing my current read and my current music. For the record, I want to say I just finished reading The Captive Princess by Wendy Lawton. Wendy has crafted a wonderful story and has managed to shake me out of a fairly significant reading slump. Thanks Wendy!

Memorial Day

Webster defines "memorial" as "something that keeps remembrance alive; as a monument."
I love that the word "alive" is used in the definition. To remember is to keep something, or someone alive. Of course, we cannot literally prevent someone from dying and it is harmful to go on pretending someone is alive once that person has died. It is also harmful to forget when person close to us has died. Relationships continue after one person has lost the other, albeit in a different sense. Death does not negate the relationship that existed before it. One does not cease to be a parent, spouse, or child simply on the basis of death.
Rather than confining our relationships with those we have lost to a few certain holidays or remaining in a wishful past where we artificially keep our loved ones alive, we could benefit from genuinely internalizing the meaning of our relationships, including the pain of loss. Allowing those relationships to change us in healthy ways is one way to "keep remembrance alive."

In memory of Maria Sue Chapman.

13 Books I Want To Read

1. The Writing Life, Annie Dillard
2. Inferno, Dante
3. Crime and Punishment, Feodor Dostoyevsky
4. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
5. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
6. The Seven Storey Mountain, Thomas Merton
7. Come Be My Light, Mother Teresa
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
10. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
11. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
12. Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf
13. Confessions, St Augustine

The Time Between the Times

Right now the sky is my favorite color; it's this lovely shade of periwinkle. Somewhere between blue and purple. It's not quite day, and it's not quite night- it's twilight. It's the "time between the times," my favorite time of day. I love this time of year because I'm actually able to observe the transition from day to night because the days are longer. The transition itself also takes longer at this time of year which gives me more time to enjoy it.
It's the same thing with spring. It's the transition between winter and summer. All kinds of things happen at this time of year. The world wakes up and shows off its colors. Sometimes it seems like spring happens in an instant and I miss out on much of it. Transitions can be chaotic and sudden. I'm trying to remember to pay more attention so I don't miss the little things worth anticipating every day.

The Chocolate Oracle

Couldn't help myself, this had my name all over it. The kind of chocolate you like is supposed to reveal things about your personality. Very scientific...

What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You

You are intense, powerful, and dramatic. People respect the things you do... And they're not sure if they could do them! You are down to earth and lovable. A true friend, you're very tolerant and understanding. In fact, your friends' biggest problem is that they don't like each other! You love being by yourself and thinking. Developing your own theories and ideas is fun. You feel lost when you're forced to be social. Being with other people can be lonely for you.

The Chocolate Oracle

Decisions, Decisions

Everybody knows there aren't enough hours in the day. Just now I was faced with deciding between emailing a bunch of friends I've ignored for far too long, revising an article a friend is waiting for, or blogging. And that set of choices only had to do with this hour; my whole evening has been a series of multiple choice questions like this. Part of the problem is that selecting any one of these options causes me to further put off addressing the other options.
So do you live life organically, deciding what "wants & shoulds" to focus on at any given moment? Or do you apply some kind of structure to discretionary time, writing at 7PM on Tuesday because 7PM on Tuesday is when it is time to write? What if you don't want to write at 7PM on Tuesday? What if you don't find the time to do the writing you want because you didn't set aside time for it at 7PM on Tuesday?
In part, it's about balance. Leaving some "white space" in your day while having the discipline to do important things without waiting for inspiration to show up. It's also about making peace with the fact that you can only do one thing at a time and some things aren't going to be done at the end of the day. So with apologies to my friends waiting for emails, I'm going to go work on that article now.

Search Me

Just a quick note. I finally figured out how to add a search engine to my blog. You can now find it in my sidebar. This search engine is set up to search only my site, so if you are looking for a particular topic or post, it ought to be easier to find. Try it out & let me know how it works. Hope y'all find it useful.

And a Partridge in a...

A couple of quotes to start off today:

• Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. Helen Keller
• No two persons ever read the same book. Edmund Wilson

Some random comments:

• Based on the aforementioned quotes & a few others I've discovered, I'm tempted to start a second list of 100 quotes. While I know some of you might like that, it might not be a good idea seeing as how I'm stalled on the list of 100 goals I've been working on for some time now.
• It's 62 degrees in my apartment. It's colder in my home than it is outside. How does this happen?
• Once again, the lilacs blow my mind this year. A flower made up of many, many other flowers, which lives on a bush with many, many other flowers like it. Delightfully excessive in its design, don't you think?

And a couple ideas for book art:

• While innocently perusing Tim Holtz's blog, I came across a technique for creating text using a Dynmo label maker. This is precisely the solution I needed to the problem of how to effectively and efficiently create text for the title pages of my books. A quick trip to Staples and I'm now the owner of a wonderful label maker just waiting for me to finish my current book. It wasn't that expensive either.
• I've also been experimenting with techniques for collage. I must confess one of my problems with collage is that I'm a poor planner. I get hung up on playing with the bottom layers and don't want to cover them up, or I want to rush ahead to the top layer, which means it's harder to go back and add details in the background. Over at Quietfire, one of the projects featured collage done on a scanner bed. Not glued, just arranged and then scanned. I can't wait to try this out because it means working in reverse. You put the top layer down first, and the supporting images follow. I hope my brain likes it better that way.

Happy Mother's Day

I posted this for Mother's Day last year and I thought it was suitable for re-posting today.

What I Learned From My Mother

Julia Kasdorf

I learned from my mother how to love

the living, to have plenty of vases on hand

in case you have to rush to the hospital

with peonies cut from the lawn, black ants

still stuck to the buds. I learned to save jars

large enough to hold fruit salad for a whole

grieving household, to cube home-canned pears

and peaches, to slice through maroon grape skins

and flick out the sexual seeds with a knife point.

I learned to attend viewings even if I didn't know

the deceased, to press the moist hands

of the living, to look into their eyes and offer

sympathy, as though I understood loss even then.

I learned that whatever we say means nothing,

what anyone will remember is that we came.

I learned to believe I had the power to ease

awful pains materially like an angel.

Like a doctor, I learned to create

from another's suffering my own usefulness, and once

you know how to do this, you can never refuse.

To every house you enter you must offer

healing: a chocolate cake you baked yourself,

the blessing of your voice, your chaste touch.

Friendship

I had several ideas for what I might want to blog about today. I'm afraid I won't be able to be articulate about any of them at the moment, but that's a risk I'll have to take.
I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately, particularly in the context of all the social networking applications available on the Internet. People on sites like Shelfari and Facebook "request friendship" with each other, allegedly based on common interests and a desire to communicate with each other. While the interest is sometimes apparent & leads to a great new relationship, sometimes it's merely a popularity contest. People end up with hundreds of "friends," people who share little in the way of common interests, and even less interest in each other.
My biggest problem with the whole phenomenon is the use of the word "friendship." I mean, I understand the point of networking, but let's not call it something it isn't. Webster says a friend is "one attached to another by affection or esteem." I guess resorting to the suggested synonym, "acquaintance," just doesn't have the same ring to it. Still, if I'm going to claim someone is a friend, I feel like I ought to be able to pick them out of a crowd of 647 other people. And if I add someone to my blog list, I'm indicating some degree of commitment to reading their blog on a regular basis. Which probably explains why my list of blog links is so short.

Excuses, Excuses

Today I have a valid excuse for not posting anything exciting. I'm sick. It's actually not that bad as far as colds go, but I am pretty low on energy at the moment. As for the goodies I was supposed to load onto the blog, I have no valid excuse. I just couldn't figure it out & I stopped trying.
I was at local art fair yesterday. I found it inspiring in both a creative and a professional sense. I saw a lot of great marketing ideas and paid a lot of attention to the little details of what needs to happen for an artist to pull off a successful art show. You have to be prepared for everything, and that includes having color coordinated rocks to hold down your brochures in case of a sudden wind. The only thing that wasn't inspiring was the idea of spending all day out in the cold rain trying to make a sale. God bless Etsy.
Now if I could just find an excuse for my excessive purchase at the art fair...

Loose Associations

One of my favorite blogs is going away, at least for a while. If you haven't yet had a chance, stop by Little Nuances.
I saw a rainbow today. It was exactly what I needed to help counteract some of the yuckiness from this week.
I can't remember if I mentioned that I joined Facebook. I think I did mention it, but I am doing it again anyway.
I'm hoping to do some housekeeping around the blog this weekend. There's some interesting stuff I'd like to add. I just need the time and patience. So even if I don't post anything, hopefully there will be some new and interesting things to the blog within the next few days.
I also need to do some housekeeping around my house. Seriously.

One last thing. At work yesterday, someone said "It's nice out, isn't it?"
It had started to cloud up by this point in the afternoon, and my disposition was rather cloudy. So I said, "Well, it's going to rain."
He said, "Yes, but it's nice right now."
He was right.

Just For Laughs

I mentioned I was going to have a stressful week. This has turned out to be exceedingly true. So a friend of mine emailed me a bunch of videos that probably much of the rest of the free world has already seen. Nevertheless, I had not. Therefore, for your viewing pleasure, I have decided to share this short little clip that actually got me to laugh.

Sunday Stuff

I joined Facebook. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I was curious. I wonder if either my blog or Facebook will end up driving traffic to each other. I don't want Facebook to turn into a time waster, but it is interesting to see what people have on their pages & find the things that are "you." We all like to personalize things, don't we?
I went to visit my parents this weekend. They have cable & I don't. So whenever I am out there, I like to watch the decorating shows on HGTV. I'm coming to the conclusion that watching these shows is part of my creative process. Just one more part of life that informs and inspires my writing. I just can't see paying for cable to watch one channel, though. Oh well. I'll have to get my fixes when I can.
I've got a stressful week coming up. I hope to keep the blog posts regular, but I don't think I should make any promises.

Perspective

When I was in grad school I was busy all the time. I had 18 hour days every single day. I felt guilty for sleeping at all.
When I graduated, the opposite thing happened. I needed so much R&R that I could barely do anything. I didn't have a lot of motivation and I mostly spent some time just doing a lot of nothing.
Now that I've recovered, I'm finding it hard to restore balance to my schedule. I have no desire to go back to the overwhelmed feeling of excessive deadlines and commitments. But now that my energy is coming back, I also struggle with wanting to accomplish more than I can comfortably get done in a day. My body has yet to realize that it's normal to be busy, and not get everything done in a day.
I need to work on some strategies for being satisfied with being comfortably busy and leaving some things undone.

The Existence of God

My proof of the existence of God isn't based on a philosophical point of view or theological arguments. It's not even so much proof, given that one can't prove things you need to take on faith. The whole point is to take those things on faith.
I believe in God because of Spring. Spring is when God gets to show off. Pansies, tulips, and pussy willows. Pussy willows! I can't believe pussy willows just "got here" by some cosmic accident. It's not just the complexity of nature that screams intelligent design. Many people think that the complicated relationships of plants, animals, and even science are an example of evidence that God exists. Perhaps they are right. The fact that one particular plant in Zimbabwe cures some obscure disease or one specific insect contributes to the agriculture of a whole region is indeed miraculous. But I think the opposite is also evidence for the existence of God. As far as we know, the only job of the pussy willow is to be pretty. No real purpose, just pure, extravagant, gratuitous pleasure. And lilacs. As far as I know, the only reason that lilacs exist is to make me exceedingly happy.
Only God could make up stuff like this.

Influence Pt. 2

I mentioned that people outside our particular area of interest can often influence our development in that area. I like that because comparing our work to that of the great masters is often challenging. I admire the work of CS Lewis, but I could never compare my writing to his. Monet is my favorite painter, but I haven't painted a work of art since the stuff that was on the fridge when I was in second grade. So does Monet influence my art?
I'd rather say that Monet influences my writing and Lewis influences my art. Not only does it get me out of that sticky comparison thing, it opens up new ways to look at what I do. I love the juxtaposition of one form of art studied in light of another form of art. Try using musical metaphors to describe a painting, or the language of 2-D art to describe a piece of writing. This approach leads to some serendipitous results. I especially like it because it treats the artist holistically, rather than stuff him or her into one category. As a writer, I'm always looking for new sources of inspiration. As I said before, influence is different than inspiration. But perhaps inspiration can come from contemplating influence.

The Little Things

I've been thinking more about influence and I will probably have a follow up post on the subject in the near future. In the meantime, I've been keeping myself busy. I've made an attempt at collaging some bookmarks. I'm not quite done with them, but when I am, I might post a picture. I'm also hoping to finish a couple of handmade books this weekend. It amazes me how little time I actually have for this sort of thing. It would probably take a couple of weeks of vacation for me to get done all the art things I want to get done.
More importantly, I actually submitted not one, but two articles to magazines this past week. I've been anxiously checking my mail ever since. Silly. I know.
Over at Little Nuances, Lee has had some interesting posts lately. I loved seeing his junk drawer. It reminded me of the junk drawer we had when I was growing up. Now my junk drawer is pretty much scattered throughout my house.
A few days ago, Lee also commented about phone numbers. This resonated with me because I hardly ever use my cell phone. Consequently, I have no digital phone book and I have to remember the numbers that are important to me. I guess I must know a dozen or so by heart. If I remember your phone number, you're in my inner circle.

Influence

You have to love zeitgeist. Last night I was reading Alphabetica, which has a great section on the creative process of the artists in the book. One of the categories is "influence." As in, who influences your art? I love that question. I think it carries more weight than asking who inspires your work. Influence puts action behind the inspiration. So I started chewing on the question.
Then Crystal had this post on mentoring. I love that we can be mentored by people we've never met. And I love how the book she refers to says that the mentee has responsibilities as well. We need to allow people to influence us. It's how our work is shaped, given depth and texture.
The artists in the book I was reading listed all kinds of people as influencers. Musicians are influenced by more than just other musicians, and writers are influenced by more than just other writers. Talk about layers of depth and texture! Just think about what can happen to the creative process if we open ourselves to the possibility of being mentored and influenced by people outside our own areas of interest and expertise.

If You Want To Write

It's no secret that I've struggled with writing for publication for some time now. I don't have any definitive solutions, but I have been musing on a few ingredients that contribute to that motivation to write.
If you want to write:

• Be poor. Now, this is relatively speaking here. I'm not saying you need to be a starving artist. But if writing helps you make ends meet, then maybe needing to make ends meet can help you write.
• Be busy. If you don't have a lot of time to write, your cup will surely overflowth with ideas. It's frustrating, but it works.
• Be lonely. Frankly, when my social calendar is full, my energy is drained and my needs are met. If I've got just a little more solitude than is comfortable, I start writing just to simply communicate. And face it, if I'm bored enough, I'll eventually write something. (On second thought, maybe I don't want to claim boredom as a reason for writing. I've not really been bored in a while and I've got plenty to handle at the moment, thank you).
• Be accountable. Talking with fellow writers who are a step or two ahead of you in their careers is an important reality check. They provide encouragement, brainstorming, and good old fashioned peer pressure.

There are many other ingredients in the formula for writing. These are just a few that seem to be most important to me at the moment.

What's Your Art?

I was fortunate to spend the last couple of days with two very dear friends who are also writers. We did many things & had many conversations that will provide great material for blogging over the next few weeks. We spent a lot of time discussing art and writing. In one of the handmade books I showed them I had used a favorite quote from Madeline L'Engle in her book Walking on Water.
"Until I have worked through self, I will not be enabled to get out of the way."
In this quote, she is explaining what happens in the creative process when the artist gets into what we call "flow." You know, that experience when time & space disappear and you're no longer conscious of what you are doing, where it's no longer you doing the work, it's the work being done through you.
When I write, I acknowledge that as my art. But I am intimidated by other forms of art such as drawing and painting. I do not feel like an artist in that context. So, having visited the Art Institute with my friends, I thought about my perspective on that quote. I'd originally used it in reference to doing therapy with a client of mine. Therapists work to get out of the way so we can be available to work more authentically and thoughtfully with our clients. When I'm at my best as a therapist, I get out of the way. If I can set aside my own concerns, tiredness, and assumptions, I don't have to worry about finding empathy. It just shows up.
Writing is a form of art. Therapy is also a form of art. Whatever you do that makes you who you are, when you get out of the way, that is art. What's your art?

Star Book Pt. 2

I'm going to be out of town for a couple of days. Actually, that might be better stated "in town." Or perhaps "on the town." A couple friends are coming in from decidedly out of town to visit. We'll be staying in the city, so I'll be away from my computer. I figured I'd better blog now so I don't get any further behind.
Here is the second part of the star book video that I promised. Star books are a lot of work, but they are also a lot of fun. When I get back, I expect you all to have left comments with links to pictures of your own star books.

Relax!

Back in December I got sick & I was out of commission for a while. Since I've been back to the computer, I've not paid much attention to my SiteMeter stats. I kind of assumed that aside from friends and family, I might get the occasional random net surfer and that's about it.
Well, I was wrong about that. I am getting hits from all over the world, including Australia, England, and Canada. One thing all these people have in common is that they seach for "relaxing activities." Apparently, I have a few posts on the subject. Apparently, this subject is googled quite frequently. Apparently, y'all need to relax:)
Side note: Blogger needs to add real smilies like Yahoo! has. That would be quite a bit of fun. Perhaps a bit excessive, but fun.
Anyway, I did do quite a bit of relaxing myself over the weekend. One thing I noticed is that when I least want to do things like journal or make art is when I most need to. So, even if you don't feel like it, maybe you need to go relax.

Mayor Daley

File this in the "I never knew that before" category. I just learned that the mayor of the fair city of which I am a suburbanite, Richard M. Daley, had a son who died of spina bifida. For those of you who don't know, this is a disability I was also born with.
His official bio gives a brief mention, indicating his son was only three years old when he died in 1981. However, there is no reference to the cause of death being spina bifida.
As far as I know, spina bifida doesn't have the same kind of spokesperson power behind its fundraising and research as many other illnesses and diseases. I wonder what a little political muscle could accomplish if it were used for such a purpose.

The Star Book

I've been a bit busy working on some book art. I've got a couple of books in process. One of them is a star book. It's a little hard to just describe, so I thought this video might be useful in giving the basic idea of how the book is constructed.
Stay tuned for part two of how to make a star book. I've got to get back to my kitchen come art studio.

Creativity

Are you a creative person? Sometimes I feel like a creative person, and other times I feel like my muse has run away from home. There are those really creative types who are talented in any artistic effort they endeavor. Most of us though, I think, tend to have a main creative outlet we treat as a hobby. So when it's not working; when your guitar won't tune, your paints won't blend, or your sauce won't simmer, does that mean you aren't creative? More importantly, how do you manage when the thing you do to unwind & feel good about yourself has become a source of frustration?
Well, maybe your muse needs to be let out to wander for a bit. Perhaps our creativity can benefit from having more than one outlet. Instead of leaving the picture or the poem to go pay the bills or do the dishes, walk away and do something else. Something else creative. In the rest of our lives, we get bored doing just one thing. The same exercise routine, the same place for dinner, the same conversations with the same people. No, we need variety. New subjects to explore, new ways to stretch our bodies, new ways to nourish our souls.
Maybe the care & feeding of the muse works the same way.

Holy Week

Holy Week started with Palm Sunday a few days ago and will soon culminate with Easter. This year, our church did something different for Palm Sunday. Usually this particular day is all about celebrating and honoring Christ as our true King. Last Sunday we did that, but it was in the context of what's in store for the rest of the week. Our liturgy was an overview of the coming week.
I often find Holy Week a reflective, somewhat emotional time. So I was a little unprepared to dive right in like we did on Sunday. I'm not sure what I think of it. Jesus' contemporaries did not have the same context in which to place the events of that first Holy Week. We know the rest of the story. Like I said, I'm not sure what I think about celebrating within that context, but it sure does have me thinking.

Hope Is The Thing

I have often struggled with the concept of hope. I'm not saying I feel hopeless, it's just that as a concept hope seems like a contradiction to me. First of all, wanting or having hope implies there is a less than positive circumstance one is struggling against. In the face of a discouraging reality hope may seem irrationally optimistic. It can occupy the same connotation as gossamer wishes and dreams that have no substance, no foundation to hold them together.
Then I found this quote by Emily Dickinson. I like that it highlights the persistent, tenacious quality of hope. Persistence is something I can relate to.

"Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never stops at all."

Puppy!

Here she is. Yeah, I know you can't see much of her in this picture. But I'm telling you, this is my favorite puppy part. I love that little white bit at the end of her tail.

It's nice to be able to post pictures without turning blogging into an all night project. I'm just beginning to discover the kind of power my new computer has & I'm quite happy with it. Once I get new speakers, I'll be absolutely thrilled. Isn't it weird how sometimes we think we need certain forms of technology to survive, and find we don't need them at all? Then other times we find a new level of technology and it improves life to such a degree that we don't know how we ever managed without it. Like anything, we can end up abusing that technology and allowing it to become destructive. The important thing is to use our resources to focus on well-being and productivity.

How To Learn Empathy

Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, she would never have been able to find these words.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Untitled Randomness

• The other day I was eating a salad that included bagged spinach. In and amongst my spinach salad was a three leaf clover. Would have been cooler if it was a four leaf, but it was still pretty amusing to find it in my salad.
• Disrespect annoys me. Really. Really really. Nothing can turn my day south faster than people who demand respect for themselves in a way that steals it from others. Guess what kind of day I had today?
• I have a new computer. In theory, I will be able to post pictures and other multimedia things onto my blog now. I just haven't found the perfect Youtube thing yet. Soon I'll post a picture or two of my brother's new puppy. Her tail is the cutest thing ever.
• I want to watch a movie tonight. I have standing rule that I save my Netflix movies for the weekend so I can be productive during the week. I think guidelines like this are good because they lend me some structure. I also think guidelines like this are arbitrary & should be flexed once in a while because, well, because I want to watch a movie tonight.

A Book Meme

Cris is at it again. She tagged me with a neat meme about books. And as far as I can tell, LeAnne started it, so I won't be able to tag her either. Anyway, here are the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

I'm reading Searching For God Knows What, by Donald Miller. Here's the quoted text.
"In the Gospels, Jesus is always surrounded by the poor, by the marginalized. And adversely, he is often opposed by the powerful. Not all the powerful, but those who oppose him are almost always the people who are ahead in the lifeboat."

Ok, so I'm tagging Teena. I would have tagged Old Fashioned Girl, but sadly, her blog has disappeared. This was thought provoking, even if I don't have 5 people to tag.

A Few Things

• I added a couple more links to my blog list. My friend LeAnne now has two blogs and a website. You really need to check out all three; they are beautiful and inspiring.
• I just ordered a new computer. I'm so excited. This old thing has really worn out its welcome.
• My family, specifically my brother, just got a new puppy. I'll post a picture once I get my new PC all set up. See above.
• I really, really want spring. I am having to save up my time off from work, so I can't take a day to go to the local conservatory like I usually do each winter. We're supposed to get more snow tomorrow.
• Putting together a list of 101 goals is much harder than I thought it would be. My brain is locked. This could take a while.
• I know this is a boring post, but at least I posted something. Go check out the new links I added. I bet those folks have something more interesting to say.

101 Goals

This morning an author was on TV promoting his latest book on success. Personally, I'm not a big fan of the so-called laws of attraction. To a certain extent, I think what you focus on contributes to the outcomes in your life. If I believe I'm going to be miserable at the Christmas party & no one will talk to me, I will probably act accordingly. If I believe I will meet some interesting new people & have fun, I will behave differently and have a different party experience. However, I don't buy the whole magical thinking concept of wishing what you want into existence.
That being said, this guy mentioned setting 101 goals as a technique for accomplishing what you want. Traditional wisdom says if you keep your goals few & managable, you have better chances of success. This approach is quite the opposite. I think one of the potential benefits is that with so many goals to work on, every year you will likely have accomplished at least a few of them.
Besides, I like lists of 100 things. It just sounds like fun to come up with that many goals. Some things I've already accomplished may even be on the list. Anyway, there will probably be a new list under my 100's at some point in the near furture.

Tacking

If my computer cooperates, there should be some new links on my blog tonight. I'm in a "getting organized" phase. If you're anything like me, you've already fallen down on your New Year's Resolutions at least once this year. I'm in the process of trying to get back into the healthier, more productive routines I'd planned for this year. It seems like I'm in this space a lot. I identify with Paul, doing what I don't want to do, and not doing what I really do want to do.
A friend of mine used a sailing analogy to describe this phenomenon. He said sailboats can't stay in the middle of the river as they travel. The currents are constantly driving them towards shore. The best you can do is weave to the right a bit, and then even it out by going back to the left a bit. It's a little less discouraging to know that the repetitive motion of getting organized is fairly normal. It's nice to know that if you went a little to the left today, you can get back on course by going to the right tomorrow.
Ummm, what I just said was not intended as a political commentary in any way. But it was pretty punny, wasn't it?

Snow Day

Once every ten years or so, the powers that be at my place of employment decide we here in Chicago have gotten enough snow to warrant a snow day. That once in a decade event took place today. What to do with an entire day off? The choices are overwhelming. Today, I couldn't even decide between doing "want to do" things and "need to do" things.
At least I'm blogging. If I didn't have the day off, who knows if I would have made the time to get around to it? Now that I'm back to blogging, I'd intended to do it 1-2 times a week. I figured that was a small enough goal as to be quite managable.
The good news is that I've been doing other kinds of writing. Blogging is still important to me, but I really want to get back to submiting articles for publication. So I'm in the midst of a transition with juggling how I spend my writing time.
One thing I might write next is a list of things I want to do next time I have an unexpected gift of free time. What would be on your list?

You Might Be a Grown-Up

I recently heard a radio talk show host ask what makes a grown-up. The question came about because many people are waiting until they are older to get married and have children. Many of these same people are apparently defining adulthood as when you settle down, get married, and have children.
As a perpetually single, and therefore childless person, I take exception to this. While many people may want to put off growing up until they have a family, I would like to offer some alternative indicators of impending adulthood.

• If you have gray hair, dry skin, AND zits, you might be a grown-up.
• If you have a mortgage, you might be a grown-up.
• If it's always your turn to do the dishes, pay the bills, and take out the garbage, you might be a grown-up.
• If things you recall from a decade ago happened after you passed your teenage years, you might be a grown-up.
• If snow days, hot summer days, and birthdays are worth acknowledging, but no longer quite worth celebrating, you might be a grown-up.

Poetry

I'm generally not that into poetry, but there are a few poems that I do like. This poem is one of my favorites for a number of reasons. For one thing, I like things with multiple meanings or interpretations. It's going to snow/ice/storm or do other generally unpleasant things tomorrow, and while the essence of this poem for me is deeper than the weather, I thought it was appropriate.

Dream Dust

Langston Hughes

Gather out of star dust

Earth dust, cloud dust,

storm dust,

and splinters of hail,

one handful of dream dust

Not for sale.

A Study In Contrasts

Last night at this time I was doing yoga by Christmas lights. Tonight I'm about ready to throw my computer out the window.
Doesn't it sometimes seem like as soon as you're resolved to do something the inanimate objects of the world align their forces against you and the goal you are committed to?
I've decided to get my stress under control, and the stress goblins got wind of this information. They've attacked my computer, they've given me insomnia. I'm convinced they are responsible for my increased clumsiness (and therefore increased bruising as of late), as well as for the snow in the weather forecast.
On the other hand, this is the time of year when I look at the goals I made back in January. My credit card is paid off. I'm within 5 pounds of where I want to be by the end of the year. I've survived some terrible, horrible, no good, very bad stuff this year.
So what can I say about something as minor as a few technical glitches and a day planner with not very much white space?
It's the little stuff that gets you. That's what I say.

Oh Christmas Tree

If you've read my 100 Things you know that I only have bears on my Christmas tree. You also know there are only three exceptions. If you don't know what they are, I'm not telling.
I just love putting up my tree each year. Now that I have a tree that's actually taller than I am, I do require assistance with the assembly of the tree itself (yes, it's a fake) and the lights. Even though my collection of ornaments is still fairly small, each one has a special meaning. Virtually all of my ornaments were given to me by friends or family. Funny how when people find out you like teddy bear ornaments they tend to pay attention.
There is a set of 2 ornaments that I bought for myself a few years ago. I was on the lookout for a 4th exception to my "bears only" rule. I wanted the perfect periwinkle round glass ornament seeing as how my tree has a notable lack of that style and periwinkle is my favorite color. So on a random shopping trip with a friend I discovered periwinkle, round, glass ornaments. With bears on them!!
Now I don't believe God is into materialism or commercialism, but that day I do believe I heard Him whisper "Hey, see that? I made it just for you."

Weather or Not

The weather around here has been pretty gray and gloomy. Usually a few days of dreary weather will start to bug me. However, I'm not complaining at the moment for a couple of reasons.
First of all, it's supposed to snow tomorrow. Just in time for the travel rush that I will, of course, be stuck in. So I'm going to suck every last minute of enjoyment from the lack of snow that I possibly can. That means cloudy, rainy weather is just fine, thankyouverymuch.
Secondly, it's foggy tonight. I love fog. You know how sometimes weather is just a bummer, but other times it seems to reflect a certain flavor of your mood? My mood can easily get wrapped in fog. Nothing makes me want to curl up with my journal more than a foggy, chilly night.
I have to fight the weather a lot in the winter. On days like today it's kind of nice to just go with it.

Do, Don't, Did

I was going to write about lists today anyway. Then I came across this recent blog of note which has a lot more to say on the subject. As a habitual list maker, I found it quite interesting.
Anyway, I love making my lists, but for various reasons I've become distressed because it's more & more difficult to complete the things on my lists. The more discouraged I get the less likely I am to follow my lists, which creates a horrible cycle.
Somewhere I read about reversing the concept and writing an "I did" list. At the end of the day whatever you accomplished gets to go on this list. If you find yourself at the end of the day marveling at how busy you were while your intended goals remain untouched, this kind of list is for you. It was quite revealing and validating to learn what I was so busy with. Sometimes I get sidetracked with time wasters, but sometimes I get sidetracked with things that are unplanned yet still important to me.
Just last week someone told me about the "not to do list." This is a list of perfectly good things one could easily commit to, but that would divert too much time, energy, and attention from the main things on your real to-do list. In theory, this list could go on forever, but the idea is to think about the kinds of things that tend to spread your resources too thin. Having a hobby is a perfectly good thing, but I need to devote my time to my existing hobbies so I don't go buying new materials that will just sit in the corner collecting dust. So no new hobbies for me for now. Volunteering is a priority for me, but I know if I sign up for another committee, I will have too many meetings to allow me to fully serve any of them adequately. So my "not to do" list includes not signing up for any other long term projects or committees.
I've got to go make my list for the week.

Time Flies

The other day I realized that the last weekend before Thanksgiving is nearly upon us. I know it's cliche, but how did that happen? Each year I seem to observe time differently. Two years ago, I could not wait for Spring because it signaled the end of my internship and the approach of graduation. Last year, as much as I hate Winter, I did not count the days until Spring because someone I loved had a terminal illness and I knew she was seeing her last change of seasons.
This year, I just have no idea where the time has gone. I'm somewhat busier than usual (except for when I was in grad school but that was just a masochistic anomaly). Anyway, each year I put up my Christmas Tree the weekend of Thanksgiving and take it down the weekend after New Year's. I have developed this tradition because if I don't do this at these scheduled times, I may never do one or the other.
Right now, this poses a minor problem because my home needs a little work before it's holiday ready. So I've got to figure out how to make time for all the things I need to do in the next 6 days.

Thursday Randomness

• You may have noticed that I've stopped putting my current read at the bottom of my posts. That's because towards the end of the blog sidebar, I have a Shelfari bookshelf. I recently changed it so it doesn't show graphics; just a list of titles and authors. It's not quite as colorful, but I think I like it better. What do you think?
• Have you ever had a creative idea that's just waiting to be born? I have these wonderful cedar bookboards, leather, and all sorts of decorative stuff I'm collecting to make a book. I can visualize the book, I just have no idea what it is about.
• I'm within 5 pounds of the weight I want to be by the end of the year. That's so close it's scary enough for me to want some ice cream.
• Today someone asked me if I've ever had a 2nd job to supplement the less than abundant income from community mental health. I said I used to be a freelance writer. That's so depressing.
• Last night I was reflecting on how I've been much busier & socially active in the last several months. First, I felt grateful for this because it's helped me through some deep, dark, ugly stuff. Then I scared myself because as it was, things were not fun. How bad would it have been if I didn't have the kind of involvement & support of others that I had???
• I'm so far behind on housework and all that kind of stuff. I've actually thought about hiring a housekeeper, just this once. But I really would have to clean the place before I could have the housekeeper come over.

Extra Time

It's no big secret that I hate winter. Besides the snow, it's cold and dark and dreary. Other than Christmas (and maybe my birthday) I don't find much to enjoy about winter.
This weekend marks one of the 1st signs of the change of seasons. We turn our clocks back an hour. So next week, when I leave my office at the end of the day it will be dark. I hate that.
The upside of this crummy little change is that we get an extra hour tonight. Most of us tend to apply that hour towards sleep. After not getting much sleep last night, I am particularly able to see the wisdom in that plan. But really, this is a whole hour we didn't have before. Sleep deprivation aside, I'm not sure I want this hour to disappear while I'm unconscious.
I don't know exactly what I'll do, but I know that recently many needs and wants in my life have not been given the attention I'd like. So what if I spent that hour doing something I don't normally make the time for? Maybe it'll be those household tasks that pile up. Maybe it'll be something fun, like exploring a new hobby. Either way, I'm glad winter at least has the decency to grant this little gift before it arrives and really starts getting on my nerves.

Who Do You Think You Are?

Have you ever discovered something about yourself that was a complete surprise to you? Sometimes we put forth a lot of effort to make a change in who we are or what we do. Other times, the change occurs without our awareness.
For example, you know those people who workout several times a week? I'm one of them. How weird is that? I'm not sure how it happened. I wish I knew because I'd like to make it happen again if I need to in the future. I've been trying to analyze what led me to this bizarre turn of events, and the truth is I have no idea. I can't connect it to anything else about how I usually behave. But there you go.
And you know that person who is able to prioritize what tasks need her attention? That person who is able to let go of problems that don't belong to her, even when others try to solicit her ownership of the crisis? That person we are all jealous of because she knows she can only do one thing at a time & sometimes needs to say "No?" I think that person might be me. Or at least I think I'm figuring out how to be that person.
Lately, I've also found myself taking some risks with creative activities. I'm less afraid to "waste" art supplies because I don't know what I'm doing or I might make a mistake. I'm not that artsy person who can make something stunning with a couple crayons and some old napkins. I am the person who takes the time to play with the process of art no matter what the outcome is. Because it's fun.
I never used to be any of these people. But as I began to review this past year (and it was a doozy), I realized all these changes have taken place.
What would happen if we could let go of all our predetermined assumptions about who we are and simply be? Who would you be?

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Chances are, you did not need me to tell you that. Most of us have had our lives touched in some way by this disease. I know survivors, and people who narrowly escaped the scary diagnosis because of a routine check-up.
Even if you haven't been personally affected by breast cancer, this month you can hardly avoid hearing about it. The media is doing a wonderful job of reporting the medical advances that have been made in fighting breast cancer. All month, people are walking, running, and donating to contribute to awareness, support, and hope. Pink is everywhere. Survivors share their stories of strength, courage, and second chances.
I think it's so valuable that these positive messages are spread to people who need encouragement. People need to know that there is hope, and that physical, emotional, and spiritual resources are available.
I also know people who didn't survive breast cancer. These people didn't get to see hope come to fruition. The the detection was too late, the advances not soon enough. While we move forward in fighting this disease, it's important to focus on what we can do, the reasons we have to keep holding hope. We also need to remember that breast cancer is deadly. It kills people every day. Those people need to have a voice.

Down Memory Lane

Cris has tagged me yet again with an interesting question, in 3 parts. She got them from Mary at relevantblog, who requested that anyone who picks up this "viral" blog post links back to her.
On to the question.

What were you doing ten, twenty, and thirty years ago?

Ten years ago I had just entered my last year of undergraduate school. As a fifth year senior, I was placed with a freshman roommate. Oh my. At the tender age of 23, this was the first time I felt old.
Around this time, I became part of wonderful group of writing friends through online discussion. We have critiqued, commiserated, and celebrated everything writing related over the years.
By the time I finished this last year in school, I had landed a job as a community mental health therapist and moved out into my first apartment.

Twenty years ago I officially entered my teenage years. My father finally painted my bedroom walls light blue. They had been 70's mustard yellow ever since I could remember. I think I had been asking for the room to be painted on a consistent basis ever since I learned to talk.
This was my last year of Jr. HS. I remember I got perfect scores in vocabulary that year, and above 100% in math because of all the extra credit the teacher made available. That was the last time I ever did well in math. I think I won our school's science fair this year as well. I was a nerd.

Thirty years ago, unbeknownst to me, I was enjoying my last few months as an only child. My brother was born when I was 4 years old. According to my baby book, thirty years ago I'd entered preschool and had begun to master walking. My walking was delayed a bit by the need to get fitted for braces, which had to wait until I'd finished a major growth spurt.
I'm trying to recall some things from this time & I know I have memories that go back this far. I just can't think of any at the moment.

Annoyances

It's the little things that are most likely to send me over the deep end. Really.
I haven't been able to post because of computer problems.
I haven't been able to watch movies because Netflix has been holding out on me and/or sending me damaged discs.
Once a week, I reward myself for working out with a small candy bar from the vending machine at the rec center. The vending machine didn't work today. Let's not talk about the irony of a candy machine at a rec center focused on health & fitness.
Despite working out several times a week, I haven't been able to lose much weight. I refuse to believe the one candy bar a week is a problem.
And, because I've been working out, I have not done much else. I want to make sure I get this into my routine as a priority. So other stuff (like dusting and laundry and blogging) is less of a priority.
Hmmm. It seems the bulk of my problems at this point are caused by working out. Something to think about.

DVD Extras

Over at Little Nuances, Lee recently discussed how he doesn't like to watch the commentaries and extra stuff on DVDs. I can understand his unwillingness to spoil the movie magic. I completely agree with him that the alternate ending of Rocky Balboa was totally unsatisfying. I wish Stallone had never even contemplated filming it that way. But he did.
However, I still find myself drawn to the special features on DVDs. I like hearing about how other artists approach their craft. On the recent live action version of Charlotte's Web, the commentaries gave some wonderful insights into the film. The opening is not the same as it is in the book. Instead, the director researched E.B. White's early writings on the book and selected one of about 17 alternative openings the author himself had considered. The director thought this opening played out better on film. Maybe, maybe not, but I can certainly respect the effort he went to in remaining true to the story.
As for spoiling the movie magic, I've watched the extra stuff on the Lord of the Rings trilogy almost as many times as I've watched the movies themselves. At one point, the commentary delves into how they computer animated some of the horses so the real ones wouldn't get hurt during the intense battle scenes. I suddenly realized that the honest question in my mind was "how did the Nazgul know to only swoop down on the computer generated horses?"
If you know anything about the story, you know the Nazgul are fictional and therefore also computer generated.
I guess the magic is still intact for me.

Top Ten Random Thoughts

• I got a new catalog from Levenger today. I just promised myself I'd stop spending money. I need some more reasons not to get the new fountain pen on the 1st page.
• I also just updated my Shelfari widget. Let me know what you think.
• I just got a new coffee table. Upon placing it in front of my sofa and putting the remote & some coasters on it, my friend Kathe & I sat down to admire it. She said "it needs a bear." She knows me too well.
• I've started working out on the treadmill at the local rec center. I can comfortably walk 1/3 of a mile. My goal is to walk 3 miles by next Mother's Day. It's cheating to move the decimal place, isn't it?
• I asked Kathe if a different color paint would help my ugly kitchen counter. She told me nothing will help the ugly kitchen counter. Good friends are honest like that.
• I recently discovered chocolate covered sunflower seeds. Yum.
• My computer is running really slowly and that is going to impact how much work I get done tonight.
• I know 2 people who are done with their Christmas shopping already.
• It's hard for me to enjoy Fall because it basically just means that winter is coming. But the weather is good for sleeping.
• I'm on the hunt for some good pillar candles and I haven't found anything I like at this point. Good candles are harder to find than I thought.

I've Been Writing

The main reason I haven't written on the blog recently is because I've been caught up in other writerly pursuits. I've been writing an article. An actual article, on a publishable subject. Although, the article has a way to go before it will be publishable.
I've also written some promotional material for our church's Spiritual Gifts program.
The writing group I belong to has been reading and discussing Girl Meets God, by Lauren Winner.
So you see, I've been writing. Just not on the blog. However, I have added a new link or two that you might want to check out. I hope to be adding more soon. Old Fashioned Girl's blog is interesting. I like a lot of her insights. Stop by and take a look.

Some Minor Observations

I meant to post last night. I was all impressed with myself and motivated after last week's streak of 3 posts on the days I actually intended them. Then I had a workshop yesterday on "The Grieving Therapist." So when I got home, I was a bit drained. A little too incoherent to post.
I did want to point out that I learned a few things. In the first place, just because I have a PaperSource near me is no reason to keep me from visiting the PaperSource out in Evanston, because, after all, when do I get out to Evanston? And what if they have something at that store they don't have here? As it turns out, they did have some gel medium I need for a few transfer techniques I've been wanting to try. They also had some ribbon I needed for a gift I'm working on.
Oh, wait, what did I learn at the workshop? Well, it was nice to be in a room with no judgement. No one was saying "gees, it's been 6 months, aren't you better yet? You're supposed to be a therapist you know." I came away with a few tips and tricks for taking care of myself while staying focused on my responsibilities and not backing away from the commitments I've made at work.
Sometimes the validation at this sort of thing is worth the price of admission. We talked about how as women and as therapists, we tend to be, umm, flexible with scheduling time for ourselves. The thing is, when the depletion reaches a critical level it's like a survival reflex kicks in. And suddenly, manicures become a matter of survival. You'd think a manicure lasts about a week, right? That's what I always used to think. But that manicure I gave myself yesterday, that was for yesterday. What about today? I need something for today.
It used to be that if I filled up "the well" I could live on that for a while. This whole idea of daily "me-ness" is driving me up a wall. I'm all for a bit of self indulgence, but I've got stuff to do! Reading, socializing, and manicures have become as essential to my daily routine as showering and eating. Everything I put into the well yesterday has been consumed, evaporated. So even though my nails are just lovely, I need another manicure.

I've Been Interviewed!

My friend Crystal over at the Chat & Chew Cafe has this great series of interviews going called "When I Was Just a Kid." She just posted an interview she did with me. Thanks Crystal!
And hello to all of you new visitors who are likely stopping by as a result of Crystal's interview. Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Madeline L'Engle

Madeline L'Engle recently died. I've written about her book Walking on Water several times. It's one of my favorite books. I thought for my Top Ten today, I share some of my favorite quotes from this book in memory of Madeline.

• The artist is a servant who is willing to be a birthgiver.
• Until I have worked through self, I will not be enabled to get out of the way.
• Stories are able to help us to become more whole, to become Named. And Naming is one of the impulses behind all art; to give an name to the cosmos we see despite all the chaos.
• There is much that we cannot understand, but our lack of comprehension neither negates nor eliminates it.
• God understands that part of us which is more than we think we are.
• Art is communication, and if there is no communication it is as through the work had been still-born.
• I want to be open to God, not to what man says about God.
• Ultimately, when you are writing, you stop thinking and write what you hear.
• The greater the radius of light, the wider the perimeter of darkness.
• I must have more faith in the work than I have in myself.

Chicago Cubs

Growing up a Cubs fan had quite an impact on my development. I think I just realized this about an hour and a half ago. Let me tell you what the Cubs have taught me.
Loyalty Sometimes people disappoint you. People are human. Believe in them and come back to them anyway.
Persistence It's OK to be discouraged, but not for long. By the time you've showered & wiped the dust off your clothes you need to be telling yourself "there's always next year."
Have Fun I don't remember how old I was when I found out that not everyone sings "Take Me Out to The Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch, but I do remember I was appalled. How do the rest of you have any fun at a ballgame at all? Seriously.
Sometimes Small is Good They call it "The Friendly Confines" for a reason; it's small. But that's OK. And by the way, we don't need a bunch of cheerleaders or a half time show either.
Support Cubs players, fans, announcers, etc all make an effort to acknowledge the people who help them do their jobs. Remember the people who had your back, the hands that pulled you up, and the shoulders you stood on.
One more thing. It doesn't hurt that the Cubs' mascot is a bear.

Introversion

A couple of days ago I mentioned I'd like to work on outsourcing tasks that take up a disproportionate amount of my time and energy. While I was brainstorming a list of potential things to outsource, I came to the conclusion that I would love to outsource all the networking and excess small chatty socializing that seems to go along with being a successful writer.
The problem is, I'm an introvert. If I were any more of an introvert, I might just be a hobbit. And my day job is professional counseling. Now before you go making faces, introverts can make good counselors because we are good listeners. It's just that by the end of the day, I'm done with the whole talking to people thing.
My friend Cris is really good at connecting with other people. And my friend LeAnne also has a blog built entirely around interacting with other people in the arts. I just have a hard time finding the energy & time to make & keep those connections on top of my day job, and making writing a priority itself.
So if you visit and/or give me feedback, I appreciate it. I wish I could say I'll be better about responding and adding more links to my blog. Part of my problem is that I don't want to ask someone to exchange links unless I'm truly able to say I read their blog on a somewhat regular basis. There are a few blogs I do read, I just don't want to imply that I read & network more than I do.
There was recently an article in a writing magazine about a writer who succeeds as an introvert. I'm glad it's possible. I'm glad it worked for him. But the article didn't tell me "how" to make that work. I need some solid ways to work with my strengths in this area.
Anyone want to be a surrogate extrovert?

Out-sourcing

A fellow writer recently commented that it seems we spend too much of our time trying to overcome our weaknesses instead of playing to our strengths. I think that's true of people in general. We are uncomfortable with what we are not good at, so we work at getting better at it. To a certain extent, this is a good thing. But at what point is it better to invest our resources in the things we are equipped to excel at, and forfeit that self-improvement in favor of outsourcing?
For me, hiring someone to do my taxes is one of those out-sourcing opportunities. I may cringe at the thought of cleaning my house, but I cringe even more at the thought of someone else doing it. The time, effort, and emotional trauma of doing taxes, however, makes outsourcing the task a worthy investment.
Some tasks are a little harder to delegate. There are things I "can" do; they may not even be all that unpleasant. But are they a good investment of my time? It can be hard for me to ask for help, so I'm working on developing a set of criteria for determining what tasks I need to make a priority and which ones I can outsource. My hope is that having an objective measure of what I need to spend my time on will make asking for help a little easier.